HE 'squire had din'd alone one day,
And Tom was call'd to take away:
Tom clear'd the board with dextrous art:
But willing to secure a tart,

The liquorish youth had made a halt;

And left the pepper-box and salt

Alone, upon the marble table:

Who thus, like men, were heard to squabble:

Pepper began," Pray, sir," says he, "What business have you here with me?

The Pepper-box and Salt-cellar.

Is't fit that spices of my birth

Should rank with thee, thou scum of earth?
I'd have you know, sir, I've a spirit
Suited to my superior merit—

Though now, confin'd within this castre,

I serve a northern Gothic master;
Yet born in Java's fragrant wood,
To warm an eastern monarch's blood,
The sun those rich perfections gave me,
Which tempted Dutchmen to enslave me.

"Nor are my virtues here unknown,
Though old and wrinkled now I'm grown.
Black as I am, the fairest maid
Invokes my stimulating aid,

To give her food the poignant flavour;
And to each sauce, its proper savour.
Pasties, ragouts and fricassees,
Without my seasoning, fail to please:
'Tis I, like wit, must give a zest,
And sprightliness, to every feast.

66

Physicians too my use confess;

My influence sagest matrons bless:

When drams prove vain, and cholics teaze,

To me they fly for certain ease.
Nay, I fresh vigour can dispense,
And cure ev'n age and impotence:
And, when of dulness wits complain,
I brace the nerves, and clear the brain.

"But, to the 'squire here, I appeal—
He knows my real value well:
Who, with one pepper-corn content,
Remits the vassal's annual rent-

"Hence then, Sir Brine, and keep your distance:

Go lend the scullion your assistance;

For culinary uses fit;

To salt the meat upon the spit;

Or just to keep his meat from stinking——— And then-a special friend to drinking!"

"Your folly moves me with surprize," The silver tripod thus replies,

"What boots it how our life began? 'Tis breeding makes the gentleman: Yet would you search my pedigree, I rose, like Venus, from the sea : The sun, whose influence

you boast,

Nurs'd me upon the British coast.

"The chymists know my rank and place,

When nature's principles they trace:

And wisest moderns yield to me

The elemental monarchy.

By me all nature is supplied

With all her beauty, all her pride.

In vegetation, I ascend;
To animals, their vigour lend:
Corruption's foe, I life preserve,
And stimulate each slacken'd nerve.
I give jonquils their high perfume;
The peach its flavour, rose its bloom:
Nay, I'm the cause, when rightly trae'd,
Of Pepper's aromatic taste.

"Such claims you teach me to produce ; But need I plead my obvious use,

In seasoning all terrestrial food?
When heav'n declares, that salt is good.

The Pepper-box and Salt-cellar.

"Grant then some few thy virtues find; Yet salt gives health to all mankind: Physicians sure will side with me, While cooks alone shall plead for thee. In short, with all thine airs about thee, The world were happier far without thee."

The 'squire, who all this time sat mute, Now put an end to their dispute: the bell-bade Tom convey The doughty disputants away.

He

rung

The salt refresh'd by shaking up,
At night did with his master sup:
The pepper Tom assign'd his lot
With vinegar, and mustard-pot:
A fop with bites and sharpers join'd,
And, to the side-board well confin'd!

MORAL.

Thus real genius is respected!

Conceit and folly thus neglected!

And, O my Shenstone! let the vain,

With misbecoming pride, explain

Their splendor, influence, wealth, or birth ;'Tis men of sense are men of worth.

ROM a wife of small fortune, but yet very proud,

Who values herself on her family's blood:
Who seldom talks sense, but for ever is loud,
Libera me!

From living i' th' parish that has an old kirk,

Where the parson would rule like a Jew or a Turk,
And keep a poor curate to do all his work,

Libera me!

From a justice of peace who forgives no offence,
But construes the law in its most rigid sense,
And still to bind over will find some pretence,
Libera me!