better. Once more, and you are confirmed in assurance for ever.

Stand

MARL. (To him.) Hem! by me, then, and when I'm down, throw in a word or two, to set me up again.

MISS HARD. An observer, like you, upon life, were, I fear, disagreeably employed, since you must have had much more to censure than to approve.

MARL. Pardon me, madam. I was always willing to be amused. The folly of most people is rather an object of mirth than uneasiness.

HAST. (To him.) Bravo, bravo. Never spoke so well in your whole life. Well! Miss Hardcastle, I see, and Mr. Marlow are going that you to be very good company. I believe our being here will but embarrass the

interview.

MARL. It's a disease-of the mind, madam. In the variety of tastes there must be some who, wanting a relish-for-um-a-um.

MISS HARD. I understand you, sir. There must be some, who, wanting a relish for refined pleasures, pretend to tasting. despise what they are incapable of

MARL. My meaning, madam, but infinitely better expressed. And I can't help observing-a

MISS HARD. (Aside.) Who could ever suppose this fellow impudent upon some occasions? (To him.) You were going to observe, sir

MARL. I was observing, madam-I protest, madam, I forget what I was going to observe.

MISS HARD. (Aside.) I vow, and so do I. (To him.) You were observing, sir, that in this age of hypocrisy, something about hypocrisy, sir.

MARL. Yes, madam; in this age of hypocrisy there are few who, upon strict inquiry, do not-a-a-a

MISS HARD. I understand you perfectly, sir.

MARI.. (Aside.) Egad! and that's more than I do myself.

MISS HARD. You mean that, in this hypocritical age, there are few that do not condemn in public what they practise in private, and think they

MISS HARD. I agree with you entirely; a want of courage upon some occasions, assumes the appearance of ignorance, and betrays us when we most want to excel. I beg you'll proceed.

MARI.. Yes, madam; morally speaking, madam—But I see Miss Neville, expecting us in the next room. I would not intrude for the world.

MISS HARD. I protest, sir, I never was more agreeably entertained in all my life. Pray go on.

MARL. Yes, madam; I was—But she beckons us to join her. Madam, shall I do myself the honour to attend you ?

MISS HARD. Well then, I'll follow. MARI. (Aside.) This pretty smooth dialogue has done for me. [Exit.

MISS HARDCASTLE, sola.

MISS HARD. Ha! ha ha! Was there ever such a sober sentimental interview ? I'm certain he scarce looked in my face the whole time. Yet the fellow, but for his unaccountable bashfulness, is pretty well too. He has good sense; but then, so buried in his fears, that it fatigues one more than ignorance. If I could teach him a little confidence, it would be doing somebody, that I know of, a piece of service. But who is that somebody?—that, faith, is a question [Exit.

I can scarce answer.

Enter TONY and MISS NEVILLE, followed by MRS. HARDCASTLE and HASTINGS. TONY. What do you follow me for,

cousin Con? I wonder you're not ashamed, to be so very engaging.

MISS NEV. I hope, cousin, one may speak to one's own relations, and not be to blame?

TONY. Ay, but I know what sort of a relation you want to make me though; but it won't do. I tell you, cousin Con, it won't do, so I beg you'll keep your distance; I want no nearer relationship. [She follows, coquetting him to the back-scene.

MRS. HARD. Well! I vow, Mr. Hastings, you are very entertaining. There's nothing in the world I love to talk of so much as London, and the fashions, though I was never there myself.

HAST. Never there! You amaze me! From your air and manner, I concluded you had been bred all your life either at Ranelagh, St. James's, or Tower Wharf.

MRS. HARD. O! sir, you're only pleased to say so. We country persons can have no manner at all. I'm in love with the town, and that serves to raise me above some of our neighbouring rustics; but who can have a manner, that has never seen the Pantheon, the Grotto Gardens, the Borough, and such places, where the nobility chiefly resort? All I can do, is to enjoy London at second-hand. I take care to know every tête-à-tête have all the fashions, as they come from the Scandalous Magazine, and out, in a letter from the two Miss Rickets of Crooked-lane. Pray how do you like this head, Mr. Hastings? HAST. Extremely elegant and dégagée, upon my word, madam. Your friseur is a Frenchman, I suppose?

MRS. HARD. I protest I dressed it myself from a print in the Ladies' Memorandum Book for the last year.

dressing when I have such a piece of antiquity by my side as Mr. Hardcastle? all I can say will not argue down a single button from his clothes. I have often wanted him to throw off his great flaxen wig, and where he

was bald, to plaster it over, like my lord Pately, with powder.

HAST. You are right, madam; for as, among the ladies, there are none ugly, so, among the men, there are none old.

MRS. HARD. But what do you think his answer was? Why, with his usual gothic vivacity, he said, I only wanted him to throw off his wig, to convert it into a tête for my own wearing.

HAST. Intolerable! At your age you may wear what you please, and it must become you.

MRS. HARD. Pray, Mr. Hastings, what do you take to be the most fashionable age about town?

HAST. Some time ago, forty was all the mode; but I'm told the ladies intend to bring up fifty for the ensuing

winter.

MISS HARD. Seriously! then I shall be too young for the fashion.

HAST. No lady begins now to put on jewels till she's past forty. For instance, Miss there, in a polite circle, would be considered as a child, as a mere maker of samplers.

MRS. HARD. And yet Mrs. Niece thinks herself as much a woman, and is as fond of jewels, as the oldest of us all.

HAST. Your niece, is she? and that young gentleman, a brother of yours, I should presume?

MRS. HARD. My son, sir. They are contracted to each other. Observe their little sports. They fall in and out ten times a day, as if they were man and wife already. (To them.) Well, Tony, child, what soft things are you saying to your cousin Constance this evening.

TONY. I have been saying no soft things; but that it's very hard to be followed about so. Ecod! I've not a place in the house now, that's left to myself, but the stable.

MRS. HARD. Never mind him, Con my dear. He's in another story behind your back.

MISS NEV. There's something generous in my cousin's manner. He falls out before faces to be forgiven. in private.

TONY. That's a damned confounded -crack.

MRS. HARD. Ah! he's a sly one. Don't you think they're like each other about the mouth, Mr. Hastings? The Blenkinsop mouth to a

T. They're of a size too. Back to back, my pretties, that Mr. Hastings may see you. Come, Tony.

TONY. You had as good not make me, I tell you. [Measuring.

MISS NEV. O lud! he has almost cracked my head.

MRS. HARD. O, the monster! For shame, Tony. You a man, and behave so!

TONY. If I'm a man, let me have fortin. Ecod, I'll not be made a fool of no longer.

my

I

MRS. HARD. Is this, ungrateful boy, all that I'm to get for the pains I have taken in your education? that have rocked you in your cradle, and fed that pretty mouth with a spoon! Did not I work that waistcoat, to make you genteel? not I prescribe for you every day, and weep while the receipt was operating?

Did

TONY. Ecod! you had reason to weep, for you have been dosing me ever since I was born. I have gone through every receipt in the Complete Huswife ten times over; and you have thoughts of coursing me through Quincy next spring. But, ecod! I tell you, I'll not be made a fool of no longer.

MRS. HARD. Wasn't it all for your good, viper? Wasn't it all for your good?

TONY. I wish you'd let me and my