off with you, and you have spirit sufficient to under

take it.

Har. O, as for that, Sir, I can answer.

Dian. What, Sir, that the lady will be willing to go off with you? 289

Har. No, Ma'am, that I have spirit enough to take her, if she is willing to go; and thus far I dare venture to promise, that between this and to morrow morning I will find out whether she is or not.

Col. So he may; she lives but in this county; and tell her, Harman, you have met with a friend, who is inclined to serve you. You shall have my postchaise at a minute's warning; and if a hundred pieces will be of any use to you, you may command 'em.

Har. And are you really serious, Sir?

goo

Col. Serious; damme if I an't. I have put twenty young fellows in the way of getting girls that they never would have thought of: and bring her to my house; whenever you come, you shall have a supper and a bed; but you must marry her first, because my Lady will be squeamish.

Dian. Well, but, my dear Papa, upon my word you have a great deal to answer for: suppose it was your own case to have a daughter in such circumstances, would you be obliged to any one

310

Col. Hold your tongue, hussy, who bid you put in your oar? However, Harman, I don't want to set you upon any thing; 'tis no affair of mine to be sure;

I only give you advice, and tell you how I would at,

if I was in your place.

Har. I assure you, Sir, I am quite charm'd with the advice; and since you are ready to stand my friend, I am determined to follow it.

Col. You are

Har. Positively

320

Col. Say no more then; here's my hand :-You understand me-No occasion to talk any further of it at present-When we are alone-Dy, take Mr. Harman into the drawing-room, and give him some tea. -I say, Harman, Mum.

Har. O, Sir.

Col. What do you mean by your grave looks, mis

tress?

AIR.

How cursedly vext the old fellow will be,

When he finds you have snapt up his daughter ;
But shift as he will, leave the matter to me,
And I warrant you soon shall have caught her.

What a plague and a pox,
Shall an ill natur'd fox
Prevent youth and beauty
From doing their duty?
He ought to be set in the stocks.
He merits the law;

Dian. Sir, I desire to know what gross acts of imprudence you have ever discovered in me, to authorize you in this licence, or make you imagine I should not shew such marks of my resentment as your monstrous treatment of me deserves.

Har. Nay, my dear Diana, I confess I have been rather too bold;-but consider, I languish'd to see you: and when an opportunity offer'd to give me that pleasure without running any risque, either of your quiet or reputation, how hard was it to be resisted ? 'Tis true, I little thought my visit would be attended with such happy consequences as it now seems to promise.

Dian. What do you mean?

Har. Why, don't you see your father has an inclination I should run away with you, and is contriving

the means himself?

Dian. And do you think me capable of concurring? Do you think I have no more duty?

360

Har. I don't know that, Madam; I am sure your refusing to seize such an opportunity to make me happy, gives evident proofs that you have very little love.

Dian. If there is no way to convince you of my love but by my indiscretion, you are welcome to consider it in what light you please.

Har. Was ever so unfortunate a dog?

Dian. Very pretty this upon my word; but is it possible you can be in earnest ?

37°

Har. It is a matter of too much consequence to jest about.

Dian. And you seriously think I ought

Har. You are sensible there are no hopes of your father's cooly and wittingly consenting to our mar riage; chance has thrown in our way a whimsical method of surprizing him into a compliance, and why should not we avail ourselves of it?

Dian. And so you would have me—
Har. I shall say no more, Ma'am.
Dian. Nay, but, for Heaven's sake-
Har. No, Madam, no; I have done.

38%

Dian. And are you positively in this violent fuss about the matter, or only giving yourself airs?

Har. You may suppose what you think proper, Madam.

Dian. Well, come ;-let us go into the drawing room and drink tea, and afterwards we'll talk of

matters.

Har. I won't drink any tea.

39

Dian. Why so?

Har. Because I don't like it.

Dian. Not like it! Ridiculous.

Har. I wish you would let me alone.

Dian. Nay, pr'ythee—

Har. I won't.

Dian. Well, will you, if I consent to act as you please?

Har. I don't know whether I will or not.

Dian. Ha, ha, ha, poor Harman.

AIR.

Come then, pining, peevish lover,
Tell me what to do and say;
From your doleful dumps recover,
Smile, and it shall have its way.

With their humours, thus to teaze us,
Men are sure the strangest elves !
Silly creatures, would you please us,
You should still seem pleas'd yourselves.

400

SCENE VI.

HARMAN.

Say'st thou so, my girl! Then Love renounce me, if I drive not old Truepenny's humour to the uttermost.-Let me consider;-what ill consequence can