"PASSING THROUGH!"

A Tragedy in Two Parts.

DRAMATIS PERSONE.

BROWN, a Briton. Costume, the lightest of tourist suits.
JONES, another Briton. Costume, the dress of a bona fide traveller.
SCENE-Regent Street. TIME-September, 1874.
PART I.-September 1st. Enter BROWN (R), JONES (L).
Brown. Ah, JONES, well met! How are you?
Jones. How are you? You in Town?

Brown (regardless of the truth). No, I am not in Town. I am merely passing through. I leave by the twelve o'clock boat for Antwerp. I am fond of the sea passage. To-morrow I shall be at Brussels; the day after at Cologne. But what are you doing in

Town?

Brown. Good bye, JONES. (Aside.) We shall never meet again! He will tell this story at all his Clubs.

Jones. Good bye, BROWN, (aside) for ever! He has me in his power!

SAINTS IN SEPTEMBER.

FREQUENT showers of rain on the First of September, in places, somewhat impeded the sport of partridgeshooting. St. Partridge appears to have shared his day with St. Swithin.

SHOTS FOR SEPTEMBER.

GOOD Shot.-If during the early part of this month you call on several people whom you ought to have visited long ago. Safe to be away; or the servant will have to say "the family's out of Town, Sir."

Bad Shot.-When your new servant shows in a tradesman with his little account, and says afterwards, "Please, Sir, I thought it was your huncle as you petikililly wanted to see.' ." Very bad shot this-of the servant's.

Good Shot.-When hungry (but economical), to call in at any family residence about one o'clock.

I

Bad Shot.-To guess any lady's age exactly.

was in the Phaynix, and a dhirty spalpeen," &c., that "you would Good Shot. To tell a gentleman, who has just said "Bedad then never have imagined him to be an Irishman."

Bad Shot.-To mistake a DE MONTMORENCI for a SMUGGINS, and call him heartily by the latter name.

Good Shot (for an invitation).-To say to the lady of the house that "You never saw such lovely children as hers. The air of your place must be very healthy, for I really never saw," &c.

Bad Shot.-To say to a chance acquaintance confidentially, "Of all the hideous women I ever saw," &c., and to find out afterwards that the lady in question was his wife.

Good Shot.-To write to a friend at his shooting-box, taking care to write your own address legibly.

Bad Shot.-To say to your neighbour at a dinner-party, "How any one can like those horridly vulgar daubs of MAULSTICKS!" and then to find you've been talking to the great MAULSTICK himself.

THE BEST TERMS POSSIBLE!

THE Confidence of the holders of Spanish Bonds having been shaken by recent events, it is expected that the following circular will be issued by the Authorities at Madrid in the course of the next few days:

Finance Department, Madrid, September, 1874.

In future the Rate of Interest on Spanish Bonds will be 500 per cent., payable quarterly at Madrid. The Bondholders will be merely required to come to Madrid in person to receive their money.

It is the general wish of the Recently-recognised Government that the Bondholders may receive the interest due to them. This official statement should be a source of great satisfaction to the generous capitalists to whom Spain is indebted.

The very best security will be given for the payment of the greater portion of the loan-namely, the solemn word of honour of every Spanish Nobleman.

As security for the remainder of the loan, the Spanish Regalia will be deposited in the Bank of England.

It has been considered advisable by the Recently-recognised Government that the Regalia should be returned to Madrid shortly before the completion of every quarter, so that the Jewels may be properly cleaned by Spanish goldsmiths.

To prevent seizure by the Carlists, the time when the Regalia will be removed from the Bank of England will be kept a profound

secret from the Bondholders.

pro

It is hoped that these extravagantly generous terms will be perly appreciated by the capitalists of Europe in general, and by the British Public in particular.

By Order of the Recently-recognised Government,

(Signed)

DON JERIMIO DYDDLERO, Minister of Spanish Finance.

THE INDULGENCE MODERN PILGRIMS GO FOR.-Self-indulgence.

A PILGRIM ON HIS PATH. SENSATION has been excited by the subjoined announcement in a report of the Pontigny Pilgrimage:

"It may be worth while to notice that last night, in his sermon to the Pilgrims assembled in full force at the proCathedral, Kensington, MONSIGNOR PATTERSON informed his hearers that he had received a letter from 'a very high dignitary of the Anglican Establishment,' conveying his warm sympathy and good wishes for their undertaking."

Who could this have been? DR. PUSEY is not a dignitary of the Anglican Establishment at all; ARCHDEACON DENISON is not a very high one. Therefore, the letter received by MONSIGNOR PATTERSON cannot indicate that either ARCHDEACON DENISON or DR. PUSEY is about to follow MONSIGNOR PATTERSON. MONSIGNOR PATTERSON was a Clergyman of the Church of England. He became convinced of the tenets avowed by the Ritualists, and he kept a conscience. So, no doubt, does MONSIGNOR PATTERSON'S correspondent. His heart was with the Pilgrims on their way to Pontigny, and he did not actually join them of course only because he was just then on the point of going over to Rome. If he has not gone it's a pity, and the sooner he goes the better.

FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE FOR SEPTEMBER.
(Not from the Morning Post.)

MR. BROWN, having returned from Margate, has been daily receiving a large number of guests at his noted restaurant in the City.

MR. SMITH JUNIOR, of Chelsea, came of age, on the 3rd instant. served at 8:30A.M. in the back parlour of the residence of MR. SMITH An elegant breakfast, consisting of tea and bread-and-butter, was SENIOR, the well-known cheesemonger, to which a select circle of the family were invited. Amongst those present were noticed MR. and MRS. SMITH SENIOR, MISS SMITH, MISS JEMIMA SMITH, MR. JOHN JONES (the Business Assistant of MR. SMITH SENIOR), MR. SMITH JUNIOR received a printed address from the Judge of the and MASTER TOMMY SMITH. There was no toast. In the afternoon County Court. It was delivered to him by MR. GRIP (an Officer in the service of the Sheriff of Middlesex), who seized the opportunity to congratulate MR. SMITH JUNIOR upon his having attained his legal majority. MR. SMITH SENIOR, who was present at the ceremony, expressed his satisfaction at the result of the interview. The Birthday Rejoicings were of so orderly a character that it was found quite unnecessary to increase the number of Police on duty in Chelsea.

MR. WILLIAM SIKES, having been furnished with a letter of introduction by a Metropolitan Police Magistrate, has been staying for the last seven days on a visit at the residence of the Governor of

the House of Detention.

On Sunday morning last, MR. DIDDLER, the well-known speculator, was married to MRS. SUSAN POTTS, the widow of a wealthy perambulating pieman. Later in the day a lady, who claimed (so it was understood) to be a wife of MR. DIDDLER of some years' standing, joined the wedding-party, which shortly afterwards separated, not altogether without confusion.

MOTTO FOR THE HIGHLANDS.-"The rain it raineth every day."