nels. While the old man was sound asleep one | audience, and throwing up his hand deprecatingly night, the wife, who was the better man of the to his first opponent, exclaimed, "Ah! ladies and two, was listening with all her ears for the sound gentlemen, another competitor! I can't stand it !" of a coming foe. She became very fidgety toward and sat down amidst the deafening shouts of the midnight, and at last was sure that she heard multitude. Dedimus Brief, Esq., became thorsomebody prowling about the premises. Then oughly disgusted with the "vulgar Whig meetshe poked the old man in the ribs, who sprang up ing," and withdrew. as if an Indian's arrow had pricked him, and demanded, 'What's the matter?' To this very sensible question the old lady replied, 'That she heerd an Injun;' and the old man thereupon rose ander who leads off in the May number, I always read said he would run over to the post and give them warning.

A GRAVE, if not reverend, correspondent writes: "DEAR DRAWER,-Like your Methodist preach

the Drawer first, and now I beg to contribute an item. Many years ago, when the beautiful town of Ann Arbor, in Michigan, was but a settlement among the rich oak openings of Washtenaw, and, in the language of one of its inhabitants, 'the Huron was but a little brook,' a huge black bear startled the quiet of the place by taking his course through the settlement, and passing down into the valley of the Huron. Off started the people in pursuit, and foremost among the crowd was a fiery youth, with ruddy face and flaxen hair, who was then the doctor of the community, and is now a dignified professor in the State University. He seized upon a horse which was standing without saddle, and mounting in hot haste, he plunged down hill like Old Put;' and as the furious rider reached the banks of the river he found two boys, of whom he inquired, anxiously,

"The night was dark. The old man had seen the day when he could run better. Now he was soon out of breath; but on he pulled till, suddenly, he was challenged by the sentinel. Between his fright and his exhaustion he could not speak. The sentinel imagined him to be an enemy, fired upon him, and sent a ball through his cheek, and carried away two or three of his teeth in double-quick time. Following up this attack with a blow from his musket, he knocked the old fellow down, and called for help to secure his prisoner. The old man all this time believed himself at the mercy of an Indian, and roared for help. His anxious spouse heard the report of the gun, and now the cries of her husband, and, with the spirit of Mrs. Micawber, who would never desert her lord, she rushed out in her robes of the night, and, armed with such weapon as came handiest, hastened to the conflict. With the fury of a witch and the love of a woman, she bore down on the sentinel, whom she took for a savage murdering her husband, and dealt him such terrible blows that he was ready to yield the advantage he had already gained. Happily for his honor as a soldier, help arrived from the neighboring sentries, and the aged couple were secured, but greatly to the amusement of the company at the post, who laughed heartily over the adventure when it came to be told the next day. The good old folks were brought within the lines, and were not allow-selves were insignificant, but the look of melting ed to sleep out in so exposed a position afterward."

WHEN S. S. Prentiss was in his glory, in the State of Mississippi, during a season of high political excitement, there was a Convention at Hernando. Mr. Prentiss was there, and set every thing ablaze with his burning eloquence and inimitable wit. As was usual, hundreds of ladies crowded the ground to hear him, and when he had concluded the welkin rang with shouts of applause. Now there was present one Dedimus Brief, Esq., an opponent, who, like the gnat in the fable, never suffered to pass unimproved an opportunity to inflict his bite on the ox's legs. He arose to reply to some of Mr. Prentiss's arguments. When Dedimus had gone through his "piece," and had given it the last finishing touch of gesticulation, peculiarly his own, he sat down, apparently exhausted. Mr. Prentiss, meanwhile, sat looking on, with a peculiar twinkle in his eye, enjoying the thing hugely. At the conclusion he slowly arose, advanced to the front of the stand, intending, no doubt, to drop an admonitory hint to such thickheaded zealots, when at that moment a neighboring jackass quartered hard by "opened his mouth and spoke" long and loud. Mr. Prentiss turned his eyes in the direction of the new assailant, fairly gaped with astonishment without uttering a word for a moment, and then, ere the reverberating tones of the ass had died away, he turned to the

"Have you seen the bear?'

"Yes; he jist now swum over the river.' "The excited doctor was so provoked at the escape that, forgetting himself for the moment, he cried, 'Why the dickens didn't you stop him?'

"The idea of stopping a bear was too much for the boys, and they roared after the doctor as he turned his horse and abandoned the pursuit."

"DON'T stay long, husband!" said a young wife, tenderly, in my presence one evening, as her husband was preparing to go out. The words them

fondness with which they were accompanied spoke volumes. It told all the whole vast depths of a woman's love-of her grief when the light of his smile, the source of all her joy, beamed not brightly upon her.

"Don't stay long, husband!" and I fancied I saw the loving, gentle wife sitting alone, anxiously counting the moments of her husband's absence, every few moments running to the door to see if he was in sight, and finding that he was not, I thought I could hear her exclaiming, in disappointed tones, "Not yet."

"Don't stay long, husband!" and I again thought I could see the young wife rocking nervously in the great arm-chair, and weeping as though her heart would break, as her thoughtless "lord and master" prolonged his stay to a wearisome length of time.

Oh, you that have wives to say, "Don't stay long!" when you go forth, think of them kindly when you are mingling in the busy hive of life, and try, just a little, to make their homes and hearts happy, for they are gems seldom replaced. You can not find amidst the pleasures of the world the peace and joy that a quiet home blessed with such a woman's presence will afford.

"Don't stay long, husband!" and the young wife's look seemed to say-for here in your own sweet home is a loving heart, whose music is hushed when you are absent-here is a soft breast for you to lay your head upon, and here are pure lips

unsoiled by sin, that will pay you with kisses for M. Molé and M. Thiers, invited the Prince to visit coming back soon.

And wife, young wife, if you would have your husband stay when he comes, and love to come when he must be away, give him those lips to kiss, and that breast to rest his weary head upon. Because you are cold and indifferent to his caresses, and often wish that he would leave you, he turns away, and seeks his pleasures in other scenes. Young wife, you have him in your keeping. Keep him, and he will be kept.

PROFESSOR DARBY, who hear the following with his own ears, contributes them to the Drawer: The town of Wilson (Niagara County, New York), is one of the most pleasant little villages on Lake Ontario. Among other notabilities, it contains a very worthy pious Baptist minister, or elder, as he is commonly called. Not long ago he edified his charge with a course of lectures on the Prodigal Son. Representing the return of the profligate, he remarked:

"He was tattered and weary, worn-out and sore, and, for his part, he had no doubt his voice was husky, for he had been eating husks!"

In the midst of the rejoicing over the newlyfound, the elder brother comes home. Our worthy clergyman pictured him as coming in from the corn-field and stopping to look in at the calf-pen.

"With surprise and grief he exclaims, 'They've stole my calf! That calf I've watched over and fed these many years!'"

A calf that had been fed for many years would probably have grown into something worthy of another name.

IN looking over the tombstones in an old cemetery in the village of P, in Northern New York, one of the many curious specimens of taste there displayed struck me as being at least original:

HERE LIES G-S

SON OF CS AND HS-
DIED MAY 1ST, 1852.

AGED 2 YEARS.

"He tasted of life's bitter cup, Refused to drink the potion up; He turned his little head aside, Disgusted with the taste, and died." Now we may smile at this conceit, but there is something very sweet and very true in it for all that. "Whom the gods love die young," was a pagan thought; but the blessed founder of the Christian religion said, "Of such is the kingdom of heaven."

them at the house of M. Thiers, in order that they might make known to him the elements and tendencies of modern society in France. "The fundamental principle of modern society," said M. Thiers, "is the civil power. The military spirit is dead, and can not be revived. You appear to have a chance of being nominated President of the Republic, and it seems desirable to us that you should prepare yourself for that eminent post by-cutting off your mustachios! If M. Molé or myself were to be nominated President, neither of us would wear mustachios. It, therefore, seems to us necessary that you should shave off yours!"

The Prince declined, and the result is known to the world.

An old negro preacher in Alabama, of the Methodist persuasion, had cherished the bitterest dislike for Mississippi ever since it repudiated its debts. On one bright Sabbath morning, when addressing a large ebony audience in Alabama, he showed, by the following exhortation, that, in spite of his devotional appearance, he was subject to the influence of worldly passions. Having under consideration that portion of Scripture promising that the Gospel shall be preached to all the nations of the earth, he said: "My beluved bruthrin, now is the excepted time! The day of judgment is near at hand when all the people of the earth done heard the Word of the Lord preached. The ministers ob de Gospil hab done dere work in Ashur and in Africa, and in all dem far-off countries; de Gospil hab bin preached in Texis and Californy; and so soon dey git dat railroad dat run from Mobile up in Massippi, dey guine preach de Gospil up dere; den all de words ob de Lord will be fulfilled, and Gabriel will sound his trumpit fur de judgment-day!"

A TENNESSEE correspondent says: "I send an exact transcript of a warrant submitted to me, the applicant desiring advice in the premises. The mare undoubtedly received very rude and shock

PORTER'S Spirit of the Times tells this story: "Dan Rice, the well-known clown, remitted, in settlement of an account, to the publisher of a pa-ingly-ungallant treatment, for which the perpeper in the West, a three-dollar bill, which was returned with the brief remark: This note is counterfeit, please send another.' It was two months before he heard from Dan again, when he apologized for the delay, saying that he had been unable till now to find another counterfeit three-dollar bill, but he hoped the one now inclosed would suit, professing, at the same time, his inability to discover what the objection was to the other, which he thought as good a counterfeit as he ever saw. It must be admitted that Dan swept the board."

JUST before Louis Napoleon was elected President of the French nation, two eminent statesmen,

trators richly deserve punishment; but the legal
questions presented by the document are-1st,
Does the warrant charge a civil or criminal of
fense? 2d, What is the executing officer to do?
3d, Is the mare or her mistress the damaged party?
"STATE OF TENNESSEE,"To the Sheriff or enny
MARION CO.
constable of sd. county. Sa-
rah L having made information to me on oath that
JW and JP did unlawfully make an
assault upon the body of sd. L's mare in the case of
beating and croping the tail off sd. mare on the 24 or 25
of this instant to her damage fifty dollars this 27 June
1857.'"*

This is very well for a Tennessee Justice, but

THE Boston Post is furnishing a series of old EnA FRIEND of ours from Pennsylvania visited glish descriptions-first rate. For example: Goodhue County, Minnesota, last fall, in search "Parte XII.-Ye Loveyer. of a schoolmaster's berth. After traveling on foot "Ever syghing lyke vnto a Furnace, as sayeth ye for several days, without seeing a single school- Play-vvright Shakespeare, ys ye Loveyer. Sonhouse or even being able to scare up a school netts & stanzas vvythovt number vvill he indyte trustee, he one afternoon approached a log-cabin-all yn prayse of hys mystress-vvho semeth all and a large pile of pumpkins, near which was an ye vvorld to hym. Ye Loveyer ys generallie con"intelligent-looking farmer" engaged in fashion-sidered to be a Lunatic-a verie Madman, vvhen

ye fit be vpon hym. He, att svch tymes & sea-ed, "Stop, Brother Jeems! stop right thar! That sons vvill essaie to act verie straynge & vnseem- singing ain't worth shucks!" Brother Jeems lie. Sometimes he will fast for manie Daies; then stopped. vvill he not close his eyelids yn slepe, but strole forthe yn ye lighte of ye pale Moone

VVhen all ye Fovvles are vvarmlie housed,

ABOUT five miles west of Baltimore, writes a learned friend, on the great Frederick turnpike, lies a village yet in its infancy, but destined to become important and populous. It is graced by the name of Paradise, which designation it derived from a public-house recently established for summer boarders from the city. The origin of the name, as applied to the hotel, was, perhaps, as little

Save Batts & Ovvles,' talkynge strangelie to Hymself in Rhapsodical Ryme & chants, alle tovching his Ladye-love. "The onlie sure cvre for thys Maladye that I vvot me of, ys Matrimony; albeit, nevertheless, I vvolde not alvvays recommend yt, for oft-tyme ye Remedye maye prove to be mvch vvorse yan ye Dys-known by those who selected it as by the world

ease.

"I vvolde here enjoyne all Loveyers to forbear indyting of Epistles to their ladye-loves, ye vvhyles he is yn ye extaticks fitt; for yn after tymes, he vvill, shovlde ever his effusions come to lyght, be mvch ashamed of hys foolish vvhyms & Fancies."

IN the June number of the Drawer, you give one of the gastronomic feats of Ex-Governor M'Nutt of Mississippi, which I have no doubt is strictly true, for he was a huge gormandizer. To him belongs the honor of originating the following remark. A set of jolly fellows were discussing the merits of various dishes, when one happened to express a preference for roast turkey.

"Yes," said M'Nutt, "roast turkey is good; -but it is certainly a very inconvenient bird-it is a little too much for one man, and not quite enough for two."

MR. BIDDLE was a wit as well as a financier, writes a correspondent of the Drawer. During the session of the Legislature of Pennsylvania in the year 184-, a bill was up appropriating a large sum for continuing the State improvements. Mr. H., of Berks, an honest German member, was very hostile to the bill, and in fact opposed to all State improvements, as they involved such an expenditure of money. He knew the wishes of his constituents, but his general knowledge was rather limited. While the bill was under consideration, Mr. Biddle of the city moved an amendment, appropriating $10,000 for the improvement of the Alimentary Canal. The member from Berks was instantly upon his feet, declaring his purpose to oppose any appropriation for the Alimentary or any other canal-declaring the appropriation to be unnecessary and against the wishes of the people. The amendment was instantly withdrawn, amidst the general mirth of the members at the expense of the honest member from Berks.

generally. The fact is that the farm embracing this tract in its undivided state was anciently known as l'urgatory. In process of time portions of it fell into the hands of those not likely to be pleased with this title, nor the associations connected with it. One very agreeable family, pleasantly living upon a fraction of this property, were long undecided as to a name by which to designate their much-loved home. Purgatory was decidedly inappropriate to a place where agreeable and accomplished young ladies were dominant. In 1848, during the season of vacation at the neighboring college, the well-known St. Thomas Hall, an evening entertainment was giving enjoyment to many fair ladies and bachelor Professors. At supper toasts were drunk in honor of various fair guests and neighbors. The subject of an appellation for the great unnamed was introduced, and one of the genial party then first learned what had been the dreadful designation of the place in question.

"Purgatory!" said Mr. G—; "horrible! what a name! Besides, I have no faith in the doctrine that could conceive such an appellation. There are no signs, at least, of a Purgatory here. I believe in Paradise, but have no faith in Purgatory."

Thereupon Mr. A-, with his accustomed gallantry, proposed "a bumper to the fair ones, who had thus by their attractions converted Purgatory into Paradise."

The hint, accidental as it was, was seized upon with avidity. By general consent a name was at once adopted, and henceforth no other designation was heard of for the once nameless spot save Paradise. This property, though it has since then passed through various hands, has ever retained its name, and the present estimable proprietor has adopted it, probably little dreaming of the modernness of its origin, or the pleasing bursts of genial humor that attended its introduction.

IF two hogsheads make a pipe, how many will make a cigar?

A FAR-AWAY correspondent says: "Out in Elizabethtown, in this State, there is, and has THE North American Review, that stately and been for many years, a respectable Baptist church venerable quarterly, laughs at Tupper's "Proverbwhich has the honor of numbering among its lead-ial Philosophy,” and says that the old proverb, “A ing members "Old Uncle Johnny More" and Jas. S. Shellwood. As they have no choir in the congregation, any one who considers himself qualified has authority to hist the hymns. A short time since, when the church was crowded to overflowing, the minister read the hymn and waited for some brother to start it. Whereupon "Uncle Johnny" made one or two attempts, but having signally failed, he called on Brother Shellwood. Brother Shellwood, full of confidence, pitched into it, and had reached the middle of the second line, when Uncle Johnny, raising his tall form to its full height and stretching out his long, bony arm, exclaim

short horse is soon curried," if Tupperized, would read, "The abbreviated pony, diminutive offspring of cold Canada, rejoices in a right speedy discharge from the brisk manipulations of the hired hostler." This is very well; but the same Review, two pages farther on, having occasion to quote the still older proverb, "Money makes the mare go," and wishing to be elegant in its phraseology, writes of the power of gold to "accelerate the spavined Rosinante." That is Tupperer than Tupper!

IF five and a half yards make a perch, how many will make a trout?

LORD TENTERDEN, Chief Justice of England, who sprung from a barber's-shop to the wool-sack, YEARS ago, when as yet the pomps and vanities was stiff and formal in his manners, as if afraid of of the world had not invaded the churches, Father familiarity and requiring the protection of digniOstrander was presiding elder among the Method-fied station-which probably arose from the recolists in this region. To his horror, one Sabbath, as lection of his origin and of his boyish days. He VOL. XV.-No. 88.-N N*