ligations, Mrs. Bestman, I think they are can- | hers, and since their influence upon her character
celled," said I; “Verily they have had their re- so raised her above others. Moreover, I liked their
ward."
present effect-for, after the card-tables were made
"And when she gets into another family as go- up, we now usually sat together, almost as com-
verness, which is little better than being a house-pletely tête-à-tête, as if no one else had been in the
keeper-she will see the difference," said Mrs. | room. Seated at a distant table, with lights and
Bestman triumphantly.

books, we read or conversed together; and there
was nothing that I heard from Lucy, that did not
increase my attachment to her. Yet I did not
venture to use these fortunate moments, as I

I felt the necessity of giving to such a heart as
Lucy's, time to form the tie of affection—if indeed
for me she could ever form it.

it from

lent, even to her. A mysterious awe had ever
enwrapped that terrible "consciousness”—I can
give it no other name and I shrunk from its reve-
lation. At this time, however, I was able to drive
my life, and I therefore steadily kept my
mind averted from it. Confidence in each other's
sympathy had, however, arisen between Lucy and
myself; and I had not courage to leave Northland,
without insinuating to her, just before my depar-
ture, and rather by manner than by words, enough
of my heart to rouse her to the examination of her
own.

After the lapse of some weeks I returned,
during this second visit, I offered her my
hand. It was accepted.

and,

"That remains to be seen," said I, quietly; "I have a great admiration-a particular respect for the young lady, myself, and dare say she has only to appear in society, to make the same impression wished-to express the feelings that governed me. upon every other gentleman." As I spoke, I felt the difficulty of restraining myself, and I rose and left the room. After a few minutes of reflection, however, I returned, and, doubtless to the disgust Time glided away imperceptibly. I had made of Mrs. Bestman, took my seat beside Miss Pley- an unreasonably long visit at Northland. During dell. With her, time passed delightfully. Whether this time I had said much to Lucy of my habits of she talked, or sang, or smiled in silence, I thought thinking-more than I had ever disclosed to any myself most charmingly entertained. Fortunately other human creature-yet it is curious that upon for me, I had already so much the habit of devoting the one subject of my early melancholy I was simyself to her, that additional interest in her could hardly appear in my manner-otherwise, after Mrs. Bestman's elucidation of matters concerning her, I must have proceeded cautiously. I would not then have increased the measure of my attention to Lucy. That would have been itself a failure in respect. It might have seemed to proceed from pity-a thought intolerable to me. As it was, I was proud to make visible to every one the full extent of my esteem for her. "Miss Pleydell first!" was the motto of my conduct, for the rest of my stay at Northland. And I set myself to take a signal revenge upon Mrs. Bestman, and took my measures so wisely, that Charlie Bestman, a silly youth, but good-natured, adopted the fancy to admire me of I pass over one or two succeeding visits. It all people, and to imitate every thing I did. A was arranged that we should be married in the hint to the unwise is often as good as a word to Spring, and, in the mean time, I busied myself in the wise; and Charlie took one of mine, and fell in securing a pleasant house in and in furlove with Miss Pleydell. I brought him to the nishing it as I fancied might best please the taste point before Lucy could guess the state of things; of Lucy. It was my delight and my pride to do and she had the trouble of discarding him, and I all in my power to render her future life as happy the pleasure of bewailing the circumstance to his as it could be made on earth. Spring came; we mother, who was so much annoyed and provoked, were married, and soon after took possession of our that she immediately packed up, and tore away her dwelling. I purposed to purchase an estate in the darling from the scene of his disgrace, in one of country, and ultimately to adopt the pursuits of a the very coldest spells of weather I had ever seen. farmer; but until I could discover some spot comI bade her adicu with delight; and as I handed her bining more advantages than probably could have into her carriage, heartily entreated for her the at-been found together, I quietly settled myself in tentions of Jack Frost. A week after the depar- town. ture of the Bestmans, the party grew more plea- And now it might be imagined that I entered sant, for then Miss Fitz-John was summoned to upon uninterrupted happiness, and that my history attend some ill relation, and the people who re- might well end here. Alas! it is but beginning. mained, being less "peculiar," were considerably The first year passed away most blissfully. About more agreeable. In the evenings they generally the end of that time, an evening came when Lucy played cards. Lucy never played-nay more, was sat beside me at the window, enjoying the breath never asked to play. I had been told by Mrs. of Summer, and watching the clouds that shone in Bestman that she was such a saint that no one the far-off realm of sunset. Our speech was of cared to ask her. But, though I did not compre-love, and of our happiness; and Lucy's heart, that hend much of the nature of her religious princi- ever found grateful reason to rise to the Giver of ples, I could not censure them, since they were Good, was uttering some tribute from its inmost

VOL. VII-85

depth to the Bestower of her's. It chanced that attention. My mind had never fastened upon these this moment my quick and loathing vision fastened things. They therefore gave me no comfort. upon the slow progress of a funeral through the street. Instantly the chord of former associations was struck within me. I started and uttered some exclamation of horror.

I was moreover little accustomed to exertion of any sort. I had no motive to it. I was affluent; and labor for labor's sake, was not to be thought of. But I now endeavored to amuse myself—I turned to books. Yet books could afford me but a partial relief, and indeed they often contained allusions which my distempered mind misapplied, and from which it started back with sudden and uncontrollable anguish. Did the word "Death" appear upon the page, I shut the book, with a shudder at the images it suggested, and opened it no more. Several rather fortunate occurrences,-a visit This was no new reflection. Others had made from the Pleydells, an exciting political contest, in it in my hearing a hundred times before. I had which I forced myself to take an interest, a visit listened to it inattentively as it sounded from the to the Willows, &c., filled up with their mitigations pulpit, or passed it over hastily in some religious a considerable time, and I reached the close of writer. But now it came from Lucy's lips-lips another year. But my manner had now become that never uttered any thing in vain for me-and so varying-at times so full of gloom and reservethe truth fell upon my heart with piercing anguish, at others so forced to gaiety-that Lucy's, which though the moral for the time was lost. I looked was now its faithful mirror, began to betray to me in silence upon the speaker. Young-so young- her observation of my distress, and her own conshe scarcely was nineteen-beautiful beyond the sequent disquietudes. What could I do? Never beauty of others—dearer to me than existence it- did I feel the value of a friend so true, that I was self—and was it indeed possible that she too could not visited by a pang at the idea of the desolation be brought to this close of earthly bliss-that she, that her loss might leave me! Nor did I ever look even she, must die? Was it within the changes of upon the face of my beautiful little boy, without Time, that she should be torn from me?-that she the dread of seeing it one day changed in death. might ever lie before me cold, lifeless-clay-a My very love for both was thus converted into torhuman being no longer. I started up. I believe I ture. With every blessing of existence was this became excessively pale. I trembled. In short, I poison mingled, and I began to withdraw myself knew not what I was about; but Lucy saw my much from home, lest I should shadow the days of perturbation, and, though she did not comprehend Lucy with the melancholy of mine. Alas! I knew its cause, she tried to quiet it. She drew me from not the strength of feeling that lay deep beneath the window, and brought me water. So strong her perfect gentleness. She saw that something was this horrible influence upon me, that I shud

Lucy's beautiful eyes had followed mine. "Some poor human creature going to his last home," she said, pityingly-" Heaven grant that this may have been one of Heaven's own! If so, how far above our ignorant regret! What need have we to know well our own relation towards our Maker, when to this close of all earthly joy or sorrow we must come at last!"

was hanging over us. Once or twice she attempted to draw from me the painful truth, but I could not bear to confess it. Strange to say, I felt it to be weakness as well as wretchedness, and could not avow it. Had I opened my heart to Lucy, all had been well. That faithful counsellor would have taught me peace. But she was answered with reThe impression now made I never thencefor-serve. She was repelled by evasions; and pained ward could efface. Reason, and the artificial aid as she must have been by my unwillingness to conof society, I tried in vain. The misery of my past fide in her, she now acted like herself. She seemed days, with added anguish, had now repossessed my to forget that there was any thing concealed-she being. I have said that my family had never been asked no more the question, "Why we were un religious. This is saying that I wandered in the happy?" She tried to occupy herself with her dulabyrinth without the clue. None of the consola-ties, with her child, with any thing that might bring tions to which Lucy looked could I appropriate to around me motives to exertion, or incitement to myself. I did not comprehend them. True, in rational enjoyment—to make my home pleasantinfinite gentleness, she had often endeavored to to call Hope into action-but she alluded no more draw me to their contemplation. But though I to her consciousness that something was still wrong. had listened, whilst she read from the Sacred Vo- And I-fool that I was!--I saw and felt all this, lume, my ear had gathered scarcely more than the and, with the imbecility of my nature, I could not tones of the voice I loved best; and when I, in bear it! I kept away as much as, with proper return, had become the reader, I was more occupied spect for Lucy's feelings, I could. And this too with the pleasure of fulfilling her wishes, than with she understood, and I knew it.

dered as her hand touched mine.

"Did you know the person?" said Lucy, timidly.

"No-I know nothing!" I hastily dismissed the subject, and talked, I knew not how, of something else.

the subject to which she had desired to call my at- In a few months after things had fallen into this

state, my brother Alfred, who was excessively fond | very soul of reckless, but not thoughtless gaiety. of Lucy, and whose presence among us might, at He talked well-if he did not act wisely-and he this period, have been of use to both, was suddenly had many bachelor habits of off-hand enterprise in called abroad by mercantile difficulties, which his the pursuit of pleasure, which at this time suited correspondents in Europe represented as demand-my state of feeling.

"So, Worthingham, you are married?" cried Tom. I assented.

'Happy fellow of course!-and all that!" I am sure Tom failed, as he said this to look into my face-" well, every man to his own fancy! Not too sober yet, I hope, for a merry evening with a friend!"

"Not at all!-But won't you rather come home

"Are you in earnest ?" said I.

"Are you so good as to scruple ?" cried Tom. "Why now you always went, at college, for a wise fellow, and I for a rattle-brain; but by Jove, I can't see that your philosophy has been more practical than mine. My notion is that Life's a brief business, and ought to be well done. I want, for my part, to pack into this short time all the pleasure I possibly can; for this reason-when the time is past, I can no longer seize the pleasure."

ing his personal attention. Two-thirds, at least, of my property I had converted into money, and lent to my brother, in order to enable him to make the speculations which seemed likely to end in ruin now. It was no relief to my depression, to find that I was at this time threatened with its loss. Owing to the circumstances which had embarrassed trade, stocks too had fallen, and the residue of my fortune was invested in them. The with me?" consequence to me, of course, was the immediate "No, not to-night. See, it's late already," retrenchment of my style of living. With this re-showing his watch. "I'm just going in here at linquishment of many indulgences, Lucy complied's, into the gambling establishment, for half an in a spirit the most cheerful and sustaining, fancy-hour. Suppose you walk in, and see the fun. Afing that she had now learned the cause of my sad-terwards you will sup with me. Or no, we will ness, and sincerely thankful that "it should be no sup first, and then descend into the lower regions." worse." Oh! Lucy, Lucy, where is the virtue, where the beauty of thoughtful disinterestedness, of which you have not shown me in your life the excellence? Would that I had been able to reward your unfailing goodness! Would that the strength, the generosity of my character, had equalled yours! Days and nights of agony had so been spared me! It might have been hoped that, recalled to the necessities of life, I should have forgotten, in the exertions they demanded, the vain repinings and forebodings to which my imbecile mind was now abandoned. But no! I had become helplessly and hopelessly indolent. I made no exertion of any sort, except that which positive Honesty com- "Why, what cloud is that drifting over your manded-indeed I felt that "this was all it was brow, Worthingham, my boy?" cried Shipton, sudworth while to do, in a life so brief, and miserably denly perceiving something wrong. "Pooh! give uncertain." Lucy had gently endeavored to com-it to the winds-and to-night at least hang sorrow! bat this idea, and besought me, "even for her I only got to town yesterday, and lo! half a dozen sake," to direct my energies to some suitable em- college-boys and old friends have found me out alployment. But I had no energies to engage; and ready. We mean to have a night of it-first sup my consciousness that I was incurring her just con- in style at -'s here, and afterwards go on a tempt, only the more withdrew me from her so- voyage to the realms of chance, where I mean to ciety. I wronged her! Sorrow of heart, but not break the faro-bank as sure as--I'm able!" contempt, was the prevailing feeling with which she regarded me. She remembered past traits of higher powers, and hoped that they would sometime be revived.

"Very true," said I, sadly; and this view of the case seemed to my harassed mind scarcely irrational.

I yielded to the idea of an evening of novelty at least. I had never before gone into a gaminghouse, and knew nothing of its ways. I therefore anticipated some respite from the gnawing of my It was now that I approached that turning point own thoughts. I followed Tom into the tavern, of life, at which a man either greets or takes leave and addressed a note to Lucy, telling her that I of good fortune. One evening, full of sad thoughts, had fallen in with an old friend, and had consented I was passing through one of the streets, without to sup with him-that I feared I should be late, any definite purpose, except the disposing of time, and begged her not to sit up for me. This done, when I heard my own name uttered by a familiar I abandoned myself to the amusements of the voice, gaily and aloud. I looked up. An old college companion; one of the cleverest but wildest Several persons soon came in whom I had known fellows I had known among my former acquain- at college, and two or three others whom I had was crossing the way to speak never before seen dropped in afterwards. I obWe shook hands, and, through the influ- served a change in the appearances of the old comence of old associations, I was able to disguise my panions who now greeted me. There was somehabitual gloom. Tom Shipton was himself the thing gaudy and marked in their dress, something

tances in

to me.

evening.

beyond the sober taste to which my fancy had him with Clarke, who very improperly introduced been accustomed, something too of slang-and an him to me, and invited him here. I would break affectation of dashing carelessness-a pretension Clarke's head for it, but that the fellow has been to largeness of ideas, if I may so express it, which kind to me sometimes, in his stupid way. This at once struck me as a departure from the ways of is one of a sort of cattle I should never take for gentlemen. Among the new men, of whom I had companions, though I sometimes meet them on previously known nothing, I noted an exaggera- their own ground-'tis Captain D, the nototion of all these peculiarities; and in their conver-rious gambler; and a greater villain, I dare say, sation, a tone of boasting and adventure, and an in- you do not know. The fellow is discreet, though. dulgence in profanity, which I had certainly never He has supped with me to-night, and entertained found in good society. They seemed to pique you with his conversation, and, likely enough, he themselves upon undervaluing much that I con- may bet with both presently; and to-morrow, if he sidered to be simply honest principle, and yet they meet you in the street, he will look at you as if he professed, occasionally, what they meant for high, had never before beheld you. That Clarke is the and generous, and honorable feeling. A continual re- strangest-silliest dog!" ference to luck-chance-good fortune-constant- I followed this company into the gaming-house ly reminded me of my neighborhood to gamblers-belonging to the tavern-I, who had been habitofolks who lived by their wits-a miserably uncer- ated to the society of Lucy-who had not the tain profession! Among them, however, was one smallest taste for gambling-who had good dispo man who dressed and spoke with good sense and sitions, fastidious ideas of refinement, and, in the propriety—whose tone of voice was always mode- main, high moral principles! And I weakly made rate-whose manner was quiet-whose face was ge- to my conscience the apology, that I was only trynerally too calm to warrant interest. I was a good ing to escape from thoughts that, unchecked, must deal impressed with his countenance, nevertheless; lead to insanity!-only going to turn over a page for its traits were strong, and seemed to promise of life hitherto unperused! But I felt degraded as any thing but the repose which it had acquired; I entered. How could I penetrate into the circle but which once or twice during the evening his of corruption, and escape its deep contamination? eyes lit up to contradict.

other histories have told-what most probably many of my readers know from unhappy opportu nities of observation.

During the evening I played, and towards its close very high, for I began to feel the deliriam of the gamester. Never once did my peculiar wretchedness recur to my mind. I went on, sometimes a winner, sometimes a loser. It was late

I shall not enter into a description of the scene Supper was served-profuse and various-and in which I now found myself. Unfortunately, too the guests sat down. Different wines were brought many are familiar with the details of arrangement to enliven the meal. Soon more than half the in such places, to render it necessary. Besides, company grew gay and talkative. Shipton, the my narrative is of myself-of my own life and its calm man, and I, were the only persons present events;-and I forbear to repeat what a hundred who did not appear to yield to the genial influence; but a drunken frolic did not enter into Tom's idea of pleasure, and I have said that such things were my aversion. The quiet man drank a great deal, but if it affected him at all, it was with added caution. He looked sometimes with a half smile of contempt at the revellers, who in their merriment were telling sundry things, which they would, in a sober mood, have kept concealed. They talked before I had made my first venture, and I had then loudly, and little to the purpose sometimes, having taken several steps towards that happy state in which the wits take leave of their owner. He, happening to sit next me, made it his business to be agreeable, and that in a proper and dignified way. He entered upon a narration of some recent "Come, Worthingham, it's late-we must go!" occurrences in the South, of which he had been an I found myself to a very small amount a winner eye-witness, and I began to wonder who this intel- this night. I did not, however, care for this result. ligent stranger might be. At last supper was It was the excitement-the exhilaration—the vigiover-every body ceased to eat or drink-and lance of risk! It was much that I could be roused! seemed to be tired of each other-and then some It was indeed much to have found a spell with of the least elevated youths proposed to Shipton to go to faro. As the company rose to follow this fancy, I asked Tom concerning my pleasant neigh

bor at the table.

thought merely of making an essay of the pleasures of play; and resolved, that done, to return at once to my home. But after a few minutes Lucy was forgotten, and I was withdrawn from the fascination of faro, only by Shipton's expostulation.

which to lull the vulture, which forever preyed upon me! So I said to myself; and regarding the evil into which I was now plunged, as a refuge from a greater evil, I felt as if I were justified by "Do you know him well? What is his name?" the circumstances in which I stood. "Whom the "Oh, no! heaven be praised! I don't know him Gods wish to destroy they first make mad." at all, and never saw him till to-day, when I found' Tom Shipton left town in two or three days, and

soon, no doubt, forgot my initiation into the myste- | and I felt, I know not what of self-reproach, and ries of gaming. It is thus that men sow the seeds indefinite apprehension.

"What is the matter, Lucy?" said I, at length"why do you weep?"

For a few moments she was unable to reply; but as soon as she could conquer her emotion sufficiently, she said—

"I have been for several days endeavoring to nerve myself to what seems to me a sacred duty, and yet I am filled with apprehension lest I should not fulfil it-as-as I ought, and lest you should be offended-even while I mean only to be faithful to your interests?"

of ill, and remember no more, acts, whose consequences reach into eternity! He departed, but I continued to frequent the faro-table, and soon became so infatuated with its allurements, that I spent much of my nights, and often portions of my days, before it. I frequently lost, and lost largely, but sometimes I won, and this was encouragement enough to bear me on. If my circumstances had been straitened before I resigned myself to this ungovernable passion, it may be supposed that they now became embarrassed, and harassing beyond belief. I was obliged to reduce still further my I assured her gently that she need not dread my style of living. I was compelled to deny to Lucy displeasure, and apologised for some recent instanand my child many of their accustomed indulgen-ces of impatience on my part, which I excused by ces; and for what? Let it not be for a moment referring to the altered state of my fortunes-to disguised, to gratify my own selfishness. my consequent unhappiness.

"If that were all !" said Lucy involuntarily, and with a sigh. Then after a short pause of hesitation, she added

"Indeed you must excuse me, if I speak to you with frankness. A gentleman in my hearing the other day, mentioned your-your love of high play! Is it—can it be possible?" I was silent, but my face grew

crimson.

After a time, I found hard wrung relief in the sale of some articles of luxury, with which I had once believed I could not dispense. And yet I played on. Desperate-more desperate, as I found my means vanishing, I continued to stake sums, raised with difficulty and distress, and withdrawn from the wants of my family-for the vain hope, and the hopeless chance, that a moment of good fortune might yet retrieve all. Meanwhile, my "It is true, then," said Lucy, her melancholy health began to suffer. I grew pale and thin. eyes resting upon me for one instant, and then Anxieties new, but almost as intense as those they withdrawing their gaze. There was silence. had partially supplanted, preyed upon me. For "It has not rendered you happy," she said at months, Lucy had, in silent patience, borne the va- last, in a quiet but kind tone. "You have of late riations of my temper―the difficulties of our situa- | been wretchedly depressed-you are wasting away. tion. She had referred the latter to causes beyond my influence, and pitied the former as the consequences of real trouble of heart. But the time now came when Conscience bade her speak; for some talkative male acquaintance had, almost without design, revealed to her something of my daily habits of play. Her disquietudes began to injure her own health. I had sometimes, of late, with uneasiness which I would not suffer myself to acknowledge, noticed that in the evening she was often feverish, and that she was much annoyed by a cough. I had begged her to consult a physician; but her own apprehensions were not awakened, and she had eluded my entreaties.

"Are you going out?" said she, one evening, when, as usual, I had taken my hat to go to my accustomed haunt-the faro-table! "If you have no positive engagement, I wish you would for once remain with me. I am very unwell to-night-and, to say truth, I wish to speak to you."

Confide in me for once-I ask it as a favor. You will never hear reproach from me; but, if you will speak to me freely, it may lessen your disquietude.. I may be so fortunate as to suggest some means of present relief for gaming, to which I am sure you never really could abandon such a mind and heart as yours—”

I absolutely groaned.

"You will, for your own sake--for mine-give up this fatal passion! Is there not some other pursuit in life capable of engaging equally your thoughts, and which may lead to results less disastrous?"

I was silent, for I felt that I could not give it up. "But this is scarcely a matter of choice," continued Lucy. "Your principles condemn this practice-how then can you pursue it? Your understanding condemns it; for-forgive me, Henryyou cannot but perceive that the sums you risk at play, are withdrawn from the honest claims of those who furnish to us the means of living. I I looked at her with some anxiety. She was feel that here I touch upon a delicate subject. I thin, but her color was brilliant, and her eyes shone, have not forgotten that, at a time when your geneeven whilst I perceived that they were full of rous attachment overlooked the difference between tears. I could not fancy her very ill, but some-your affluence and my poverty, I was familiar with thing of my old forebodings rushed upon my heart, self-denial-and for my own advantage never would as she spoke. I sat down beside her, and spoke I allude to this unfortunate affair. Indeed it is to her kindly and tenderly. The tears which had this consideration that has kept me silent. But for before been gathering in her eyes now fell fast-your sake I must speak-for the sake of the cha