phon, my face had been continually burning like a fire-brand; and I was just beginning to recover myself, and to feel comfortably cool, when an unlooked-for accident rekindled all my heat and blushes. Having set my plate of soup too near the edge of the table, in bowing to Miss Dinah, who politely complimented the pattern of my waistcoat, I tumbled the whole scalding contents into my lap. In spite of an immediate supply of napkins to wipe the surface of my clothes, they were not stout enough to save me from the painful effects of this sudden fomentation, and, for some minutes, my my legs seemed stewed in a boiling caldron; but recollecting how Sir Thomas had disguised his torture when I trod upon his gouty toe, I firmly bore my pain in silence, and sat with my lower extremities parboiled, amidst the stifled giggling of the ladies and servants. I will not relate the several blunders which I made during the first course, or the distresses occasioned by my being desired to carve a fowl, or help to various dishes that stood near me, spilling a sauceboat, and knocking down a salt-cellar; rather let me hasten to the second course, where fresh disasters quite overwhelmed me.

I had a piece of rich sweet pudding on my fork, when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to trouble me for part of a pigeon that stood near me. In my haste, scarce knowing what I did, I whipped the pudding into my mouth-hot as a burning coal! it was impossible to conceal my agony; my eyes were starting from their sockets! At last, in spite of shame or resolution, I was obliged to- -drop the cause of torment on my plate. Sir Thomas and the ladies all compassionated my misfortune, and each advised a different application. One recommended oil, another water, but all agreed that wine was perhaps the best for drawing out the heat; and a glass of sherry was brought me from the side-board-I snatched it up with eagerness: but oh! how shall I tell the sequel? Whether the butler by accident mistook, or purposely designed to drive me mad, I know not; but he gave me the strongest brandy, with which I filled my mouth, already flayed and blistered. Totally unused to every kind of ardent spirits, with my tongue, throat, and palate, as raw as beef, what could I do? I could not swallow, and, clapping my hands upon my mouth, the burning liquor squirted through my nose and fingers, like a fountain, over all the dishes, and I was crushed by bursts of laughter from all quarters. In vain did Sir Thomas reprimand the servants, and Lady Friendly chide her daughters; the measure of my shame and

E

their diversion was not yet complete. To relieve me from the intolerable state of perspiration which this accident had caused, without considering what I did, I wiped my face with that ill-fated handkerchief, still wet from the consequences of the fall of Xenophon, and covered my features with streaks of ink in every direction! The baronet himself could not support this shock, but joined his lady in the general laugh; while I sprang from the table in despair, rushed out of the house, and ran home, in an agony of confusion and disgrace, which the most poignant sense of guilt could not have excited.

Let me entreat that you will not add to my sufferings by ungenerous ridicule; or still further increase my unhappy notoriety, by making my infirmity, at any future time, the subject of your conversation.-Mackenzie.

A HUNCHBACK'S GRATITUDE.

MASTER WALTER.

Wal. I'LL follow him!

SIR THOMAS CLIFFORD.

Why do you hold me? 'Tis not courteous of you!
Think'st thou I fear them? Fear! I rate them but
As dust! dross! offals! Let me at them!-Nay,
Call you this kind? then kindness know I not:

Nor do I thank you for't! Let go, I say!

Clif. Nay, Master Walter, they're not worth your wrath!
Wal. How know you me for Master Walter? By

My hunchback, eh? my stilts of legs and arms,
The fashion more of ape's than man's? Aha!

So

you have heard them, too-their savage gibes, As I pass on,-"There goes my lord!" Aha! God made me, sir, as well as them and you! 'Sdeath! I demand of you, unhand me, sir!

Clif. There, sir, you're free to follow them! Go forth, And I'll go too; so on your wilfullness

Shall fall whate'er of evil may ensue.

Is 't fit you waste your choler on a burr?

The nothings of the town; whose sport it is
To break their villian jests on worthy men,
The worthier the fitter! fie for shame!
Regard what such would say? So would not I,
No more than heed a cur.

Wal. You're right, sir; right.

For twenty crowns!-so there's my rapier up!
You've done a good turn against my will;
Which, like a wayward child, whose pet is off,
That made him restive under wholesome check,
I now right humbly own and thank you for.

Clif. No thanks, good Master Walter, owe you me.
I'm glad to know you, sir.

Wal. I pray you, now.

How did you learn my name? Guess'd I not right?
Was 't not my comely hunch that taught it you?
Clif. I own it.

Wal. Right I know it; you tell truth,

I like you for 't.

Clif. But when I heard it said

That Master Walter was a worthy man,

Whose word would pass on 'change soon as his bond;
A liberal man-for schemes of public good

That sets down tens where others units write;
A charitable man-the good he does,
That's told of, not the half-I never more
Could see the hunch on Master Walter's back!
Wal. You would not flatter a poor citizen?
Clif. Indeed, I flatter not!

Wal. I like your face

A frank and honest one! Your frame's well knit,
Proportion'd, shaped !

Clif. Good, sir!

Wal. Your name is Clifford.

Sir Thomas Clifford.

Humph! You're not the heir

Direct to the fair baronetcy? He

That was, was drowned abroad. Am I not right?

Your cousin was't not?-so succeeded you

To rank and wealth your birth ne'er promised you.
Clif. I see you know my history.

Wal. I do.

You're lucky who conjoin the benefits

Of penury and abundance: for I know

Your father was a man of slender means.

You do not blush, I see. That's right! Why should you?

What merit to be dropp'd on fortune's hill?

The honour is to climb it. You'd have done it ;

For you were train'd to knowledge, industry,

Frugality, and honesty, the sinews

That surest help a man to gain the top,

And then will keep him there. I have a clerk,
Once served your father; there's the riddle for you.
Humph! I may thank you for my life to-day.
Clif. I pray you say not so.

Wal. But I will say so!

Because I think So, know so, feel So, sir!
Your fortune, I have heard, I think, is ample!
And doubtless you live up to 't?

Clif. 'Twas my rule,

And is so still, to keep my outlay, sir,

A span within my means.

Wal. A prudent rule!

The turf is a seductive pastime?

Clif. Yes.

Wal. You keep a racing stud? You bet?
Clif. No, neither.

'Twas still my fathers precept—“ Better owe

A yard of land to labour, than to chance

Be debtor for a rood!"

Wal. 'Twas a wise precept.

You've a fair house-you'll get a mistress for it?
Clif. In time!

Wal. In time? 'Tis time thy choice were made!
Is 't not so yet? Or is thy lady love

The newest still thou seest?

Clif. Nay, not so.

I'd marry, Master Walter, but old use-
For since the age of thirteen, I have lived

In the world-has made me jealous of the thing
That flatter'd me with hope of profit. Bargains
Another would snap up, might lie, for me;
Till I had turn'd and turn'd them! Speculations,
That promised twenty, thirty, forty, fifty,

Ay, cent.-per-cent. returns, I would not launch in,
When others were afloat, and out at sea;

Whereby I made small gains, but miss'd great losses.
As ever, then, I look'd before I leap'd,

So do I now.

Wal. Thou 'rt all the better for it!

[Aside.]

Let's see! Hand free-heart whole-well-favoured-so! Rich-titled-let that pass!-kind, valiant, prudent

Sir Thomas, I can help thee to a wife,

Hast thou the luck to win her!

Clif. Master Walter!

You jest?

Wal. I do not jest!-I like you!—Mark!—
I like you-and I like not every one!

I say a wife, sir, can I help you to,
The pearly texture of whose dainty skin
Alone were worth thy baronetcy! Form
And feature has she, wherein move and glow
The charms that in the marble, cold and still,

Cull'd by the sculptor's jealous skill and joined there,
Inspire us! Sir, a maid, beneath whose feet,
A duke-a duke might lay his coronet,

To lift her to his state, and partner her!

A fresh heart too!-a young fresh heart, sir; one
That Cupid has not toy'd with; and a warm one-
Fresh, young, and warm!-Mark that! A mind to boot--
Wit, sir; sense, taste;-a garden strictly tended-
Where nought but what is costly flourishes!

A consort for a king, sir! You shall see her!

Clif. I thank you, Master Walter! As you speak,
Methinks I see me at the altar-foot!

Her hand fast lock'd in mine!-the ring put on!
My wedding-bell rings merry in my ear;

And round me throng glad tongues that give me joy

To be the bridegroom of so fair a bride!

Wal. What! sparks so thick? We'll have a blaze anon! Servant. [Entering.] The chariot's at the door.

Wal. It waits in time!

Sir Thomas, it shall bear thee to the bower

Where dwells this fair-for she's no city belle,

But e'en a sylvan goddess!

Clif. Have with you!

Wal. You'll bless the day you served the Hunchback, sir!

-Sheridan Knowles.

LE FEVRE.

"IN a fortnight or three weeks," added my uncle Toby, smiling, "he might march." "He will never march, an't please your honour, in this world," said the Corporal. "He will march," said my uncle Toby,-rising up from the side of the bed with one shoe off. "An't please your honour," said the Corporal," he will never march, but to his grave." shall march," cried my uncle Toby, marching the foot which

"He