V.

And therefore will I leave off metaphysical Discussion, which is neither here nor there: If I agree that what is, is then this I call

Being quite perspicuous and extremely fair. The truth is, I've grown lately rather phthisical: I don't know what the reason is--the air, Perhaps; but, as I suffer from the shocks Of illness, I grow much more orthodox.

VI.

The first attack at once proved the Divinity
(But that I never doubted, nor the Devil);
The next, the Virgin's mystical virginity;
The third, the usual Origin of Evil;
The fourth at once establish'd the whole Trinity
On so incontrovertible a level,
That I devoutly wish'd the three were four,
On purpose to believe so much the more.

VII.

To our theme. The man who has stood on the Acropolis, Fis.

And look'd down over Attica; or he Who has sail'd where picturesque Constantinople Or seen Timbuctoo, or hath taken tea In small-eyed China's crockery-ware metropolis,

Or sat amidst the bricks of Nineveh, [anceMay not think much of London's first appearBut ask him what he thinks of it a year hence. VIII.

Don Juan had got out on Shooter's Hill:

Sunset the time, the place the same declivity Which looks along that vale of good and ill Where London streets ferment in full activity; While everything around was calm and still,

Except the creak of wheels, which on their pivot he

Heard; and that bee-like, bubbling, busy hnra Of cities, that boil over with their scum

IX.

I say Don Juan, wrapt in contemplation, [m: Walk'd on behind his carriage, o'er the sum

I recollect some innkeepers who don't Differ, except in robbing with a bow

[it

Here peals the people's voice, nor can entomb Racks, prisons, inquisitions; resurrection Awaits it, each new meeting or election.

X.

'Here are chaste wives, pure lives: here people pay

But what they please; and, if that things be 'Tis only that they love to throw away [dear Their cash to show how much they have a year. Here laws are all inviolate; none lay

Traps for the traveller; every highway's clear: Here he was interrupted by a knife,

But what is to be done? I can't allow The fellow to lie groaning on the road: So take him up; I'll help you with the load.

XVI.

But ere they could perform this pious duty,
The dying man cried, Hold! I've got my
gruel!

Oh for a glass of max !* We've miss'd our booty;
Let me die where I am!' And as the fuel
Of life shrunk in his heart, and thick and sooty
The drops fell from his death-wound, and he
drew ill

XIII.

Juan vet quickly understood their gesture; And, being somewhat choleric and sudden, Drew forth a pocket pistol from his vesture, And fired it into one assailant's puddingWho fell, as rolls an ox o'er in his pasture,

And roar'd out, as he writhed his native mud Unto his nearest follower or henchman, [in, 'O Jack! I'm floor'd by that 'ere bloody Frenchman !'

XIV.

On which Jack and his train set off at speed; And Juan's suite, late scatter'd at a distance, Came up, all marvelling at such a deed,

And offering, as usual, late assistance. Juan, who saw the moon's late minion bleed

As if his veins would pour out his existence, Stood calling out for bandages and lint, And wish'd he'd been less hasty with his flint.

XV.

'Perhaps,' thought he, 'it is the country's wont To welcome foreigners in this way: now

In twelve hours' time, and very little space, Have been obliged to slay a free-born native In self-defence: this made him meditative.

XIX.

He from the world had cut off a great man, Who in his time had made heroic bustle. Who, in a row, like Tom could lead the van, Booze in the ken, † or at the spellken hustle? Who queer a flat? Who (spite of Bow Street's ban)

On the high toby-spice § so flash the muzzle? Who, on a lark, with black-eyed Sal (his blowing),

So prime, so swell, so nutty, and so knowing?||

* Gin.

[Ken, a house that harbours thieves.] [The theatre.]

Robbery on horseback.]

The advance of science and of language has rendered it unnecessary to translate the above good and true English, spoken in its original purity by the select mobility and their patrons. The following is a stanza of a song which was very popular, at least in my early days:

'On the high toby spice flash the muzzle,
In spite of each gallows old scout:
If you at the spellken can't hustle,
You'll be hobbled in making a clout.

Then your Blowing will wax gallows haughty,
When she hears of your scaly mistake,
She'll surely turn snitch for the forty,

That her Jack may be regular weight.

In decent London, when the daylight's o'er ; Commodious but immoral, they are found Useful, like Malthus, in promoting marriageBut Juan now, in stepping from his carriage

ΧΧΧΙ.

Into one of the sweetest of hotels,

Especially for foreigners-and mostly For those whom favour or whom fortune swells, And cannot find a bill's small items costly. There many an envoy either dwelt or dwells

(The den of many a diplomatic lost lie) Until to some conspicuous square they pass, And blazon o'er the door their names in brass. XXXII.

Juan, whose was a delicate commission,

Private, though publicly important, bore No title to point out, with due precision,

The exact affair on which he was sent o'er. 'Twas merely known that, on a secret mission, A foreigner of rank had graced our shore, Young, handsome, and accomplish'd, who was

said

(In whispers) to have turned his sovereign's head.

XXXIII.

Some rumour, also, of some strange adventures Had gone before him, and his wars and loves; And as romantic heads are pretty painters,

And, above all, an Englishwoman's roves Into the excursive, breaking the indentures Of sober reason, wheresoe'er it moves, He found himself extremely in the fashion, Which serves our thinking people for a passion.

XXXIV.

I don't mean that they are passionless, but quite
The contrary; but then 'tis in the head;

Yet as the consequences are as bright
As if they acted with the heart instead,
What, after all, can signify the site

Of ladies' lucubrations? So they lead
In safety to the place for which you start,
What matters if the road be head or heart?

XXXV.

Juan presented in the proper place,

To proper placemen, every Russ credential; And was received with all the due grimace

By those who govern in the mood potential, Who, seeing a handsome stripling with smooth face,

Thought (what in state affairs is most essential) That they as easily might do the youngster, As hawks may pounce upon a woodland songster.

XXXVI.

They err'd, as aged men will do: but byAnd-by we'll talk of that: and if we don't, "Twill be because our notion is not high

Of politicians and their double front, Who live by lies, yet dare not boldly lie Now what I love in woman is, they won't

Or can't do otherwise than lie, but do it
So well, the very truth seems falsehood to it.

XXXVII.

And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but
The truth in masquerade; and I defy
Historians, heroes, lawyers, priests, to put
A fact without some leaven of a lie.
The very shadow of true Truth would shut

Up annals, revelations, poesy,
And prophecy-except it should be dated
Some years before the incidents related.

XXXVIII.

Praised be all liars and all lies! Who now
Can tax my mild Muse with misanthropy?
She rings the world's 'Te Deum,' and her brow
Blushes for those who will not ;-but to sigh
Is idle; let us, like most others, bow,

Kiss hands, feet, any part of majesty,
After the good example of Green Erin,'
Whose shamrock now seems rather worse for
wearing.

XXXIX.

Don Juan was presented, and his dress

And mien excited general admirationI don't know which was more admired, or less: One monstrous diamond drew much observaWhich Catharine in a moment of ivresse [tion, (In love or brandy's fervent fermentation) Bestow'd upon him, as the public learn'd; And, to say truth, it had been fairly earn'd.

XL.

Besides the ministers and underlings,

Who must be courteous to the accredited Diplomatists of rather wavering kings, Until their royal riddle's fully read ; The very clerks-those somewhat dirty springs Of office, or the house of office, fed By foul corruption into streams—even they Were hardly rude enough to earn their pay:

XLI.

And insolence, no doubt, is what they are
Employ'd for, since it is their daily labour,
In the dear offices of peace or war;

And should you doubt, pray ask of your next neighbour,

When for a passport, or some other bar

If he found not in this spawn of taxborn riches, To freedom, he applied (a grief and a bore), Like lap-dogs, the least civil sons of b—s.

XLII

But Juan was received with much empressement:

These phrases of refinement I must borrow From our next neighbours' land, where, like a chessman,

There is a move set down for joy or sorrow,