worm their way into your writing. They help breed passive verbs, which detract from the vigor of any writing, and they lengthen sentences by a "wind-up" introduction. Impersonal, passive constructions like these have won us the reputation of vague writing and overuse of passive verbs. So far as possible, improve this image by substituting a person, such as “we” or "I" or "this office" for the "it" who recommends, believes, or concludes.

Another device we use to lengthen sentences is burying verbs in nouns. Clues to this practice are such words as make, have, hold, or give.

Tone is not an ingredient we decide to add or to omit when we write a

memo or a letter. Like that other intangible, style, tone is built into everything we write. There are many kinds of tone-for instance, helpful, when you give information; sincere, when you apologize; reasonable, when you say "no"; or firm, when you must stick to your guns. The key to the right tone lies in the word APPROPRIATE.

Appropriate tone means one that is suitable-suitable for the relationship between the reader and the signer-and suitable for the purpose for which the document is written. Two additional factors found in the tone of any communication are courtesy and objectivity.

The tone of your writing reveals the way you, the writer, see the situation. If you consider the question you are answering too elementary to bother with, the tone of your letter or memo may be abrupt or patronizing. If you let your imagination and your sympathy run away with your better judgment, your reply may be overdone and lack objectivity. If you are thoroughly steeped in the history of the case, the tone of your letter may echo that of the regulations. It is no small task to write a communication that has appropriate tone. Add to this the further restriction that we must rely on only WORDS for appropriate tone, and you begin to understand why this is a problem area.

Here are some suggestions for helping you achieve appropriate tone in your writing:

Write for your reader

This cardinal principle of effective communication cannot be separated from tone. Because your written communication must "meet and deal" with the reader, apply the same communication principles you automatically use in a face-to-face conversation. For example, at the very beginning of a meeting, an interview, or a conference, we set the tone for the whole session. We express appreciation, make any necessary apology, or express concern. We should do the same early in the written communication.

You improve the tone of your writing as you improve its responsiveness. If the document gives correct, suitable information related specifically to the purpose and to the receiver, the chances are that the tone will be appropriate.

Choose words the reader will understand

Using unfamiliar language adversely affects tone as well as clarity. If the reader feels that he is being ignored, talked down to, or treated like a statistic, his emotional reaction may block any attempt to understand

the message in the written words. No longer will he make the effort necessary to translate the unfamiliar language into familiar terms.

Speaking the language the reader understands is not only a gesture of courtesy; it is a key to insuring that your communication will accomplish its purpose.

Be human

Are government writers people? Readers of our letters, memos, reports, etc., have not always been sure. For years we have tried to make our communications impersonal. We may have overdone it. The world consists entirely of agencies, policies, taxpayers, laws, and "it"—especially "it." The taxpayer reading a letter from the Service needs to know that a person has considered his problem and that a person has written the answer he receives. We can be objective without being coldly impersonal.

The category into which we lump the largest number of people is that of "taxpayers." The taxpayer reading the letter you write may not realize that he, too, is in this category. Don't tell him, "Taxpayers are required to ..." Instead, write to him: "You must . . ." Don't refer to "the dependents in this case"; say "your children" or "your parents."

Humanized letters are not chummy, undignified letters; they are, rather, letters that show courtesy to the reader and interest in his problem. Use human terms. Don't be afraid to say you or your or we and I. Rearrange your thinking and your writing to emphasize the reader instead of the Service.

Don't say

We refer to your letter . . .

An amended return will have to be filed ...

We attach Publication 5020, which describes the medical and dental expenses which may be claimed on income tax returns.

Try these

Thank you for your letter...

You must file an amended return ..

You may find the enclosed pamphlet helpful. It explains which medical and dental expenses you may deduct from your income

tax return.

Put people into your writing by avoiding the impersonal "it" that introduces a passive verb-"it is believed," "it is recommended," or "it is stated."

Not

It is requested that this office be furnished three copies.

But

Please send us three copies.

It is recommended that every ef- We recommend trying to ...

fort be made to ...

Keep on an even keel

Government writing must be objective. It must be factual, fair, impartial. Choose words that reinforce these characteristics.

Know the difference between a factual and a judgmental statement. If we say, "He did not sign the form," we are making a factual statement. If, however, we say, "He failed to sign the form," we are making a judgmental statement. By our choice of the word "failed" we destroy the illusion of objectivity we try to create; this word says that we have already acted as judge and jury.

Be reasonable. We can disagree without being disagreeable. If you must say "no," explain why. A "no" without reasons often leads to repeat correspondence.

If we have made a mistake, admit it and apologize. Don't overjustify the reasons for the mistake, or (what is worse) ignore them. Avoid defensive statements that imply a chip-on-the-shoulder attitude.

Handle with care

Accept the fact that not all readers will get from the words in your writing the meaning you thought you expressed. We cannot always foresee what emotional impact a word will have; the best we can do is to recognize common danger signals and try to avoid them.

Watch out for words in your writing that point to the reader and say, "You were wrong. You didn't understand. You didn't do what you were supposed to do." Be especially careful about labels. Perhaps you see no difference between "taxpayers who are delinquent in filing returns" and "delinquent taxpayers." Perhaps you prefer the second, shorter form. Your correspondent, however, may react unfavorably to being labelled a "delinquent."

If you have a choice, use the positive rather than the negative way of saying something. For example, "It is our policy not to keep the office open evenings except on Monday" is a negative way to say, "We have set every Monday evening aside to help taxpayers coming to our office.”

Be careful about using words that imply criticism or doubt of the taxpayer's intelligence or honesty. One word, perhaps one of our habit

words such as claimed, alleged, or obviously, can spoil the tone of a letter, memo, or report.

Be tactful. Don't order the reader to take an action if you can just as easily request or suggest that he do so. Explain WHAT is wrong, not WHO is wrong.

The closing part of this unit, called "What Our Neighbors Are Doing," provides excellent illustrations of appropriate tone.

What Our Neighbors Are Doing

There's an old story about a rooster who rushed into the chickenyard one day, called all the hens around him, and said: "Come with me, girls, I have something to show you." He led the way out of the yard, across the meadow and the cornfield until he came to the fence which separated the farm from a neighboring ostrich farm. On the other side of the fence lay a huge ostrich egg. Pointing to it, the rooster said, "Now, girls, I'm not complaining. I just want you to know what our neighbors are doing!"

Sometimes we profit from seeing what our neighbors are doing, particularly if their problems are somewhat like our own. We may not want to do exactly as they have done, but we may get ideas that help us come up with something of our own.

Don't be tone deaf

The dictionary defines "tact" as delicate skill in saying or doing just the appropriate thing under given circumstances. Very often when we receive a stupid or nasty letter, it takes patience plus to reply courteously and kindly. But any person who cannot maintain self-control under trying circumstances has no place in the Internal Revenue Service.

In every human relationship, there will be understanding, nonunderstanding, and misunderstanding. Recognize this fact and remain objective and serene. Seek understanding. Explain what's right instead of arguing who's right. Never use a poison pen. You will never improve your position by writing something nasty. Win your point by taking issue without being antagonistic. Get action by displaying understanding and by using adroit persuasiveness. Practically every situation that arises offers an opportunity to use tact in some degree; mistakes must be corrected; requests refused; misunderstandings smoothed out; and drastic action justified.

Here are a few "Winners and Sinners" from material submitted by field offices.