Not: It will be appreciated by this office if this matter could re

ceive your prompt attention. If any further information is

desired by you, please feel free to call upon us at any time. But: May we hear from you by May 10? Please let us know if we can supply information you may need.

Like the opening paragraph, the closing paragraph should be brief. Don't be like the guest who has a hard time saying good-bye; follow your plan and stop when you have reached the end. When Paul Revere finished his famous ride, so history tells us, all he said was "Whoa." And, after all, that was all he needed.

Unit 5

Effective Sentences

Sentence Principles

The sentence is the basic unit of our writing. When we appraise our writings, they stand or fall according to the quality of the sentences that make up those written documents. When we work with words, we try to find out how to use them more effectively in sentences. When we appraise our paragraphs and the entire document, we analyze the sentences that make up these larger groups.

The following unit is the "how to" chapter, the one that points out how applying writing principles can make sentences more effective. Not every writer will apply each principle in exactly the same way; but any good writing is dependent upon the application, in some way, of these principles. Here are the ones we will discuss:

Avoid the too-full sentence

Prefer the active voice

Write head-on sentences

Keep related words close together

Put parallel ideas in parallel form

Link your ideas

Punctuate for meaning

Avoid the Too-Full Sentence

When is a sentence too long?

Just as there is no such thing as an "average" person, so there is no such thing as an "average" length for a sentence. Twenty words-the arbitrary measurement-may be too few words for one sentence and too many for another. It is not the length in actual inches that makes a sentence too long and therefore hard to read; the fault lies, rather, in the number of ideas crammed between the periods.

We tend to write long sentences in our letters and memos. The subject

matter, legal background, and the heavy style we have used in the past all contribute to the length. To help our reader, we must shorten our sentences. We must make sure that they are not overloaded; they should contain one thought per sentence, not a handful of thoughts branching out in several directions.

Here are some practical how-to's to help you avoid too-full sentences in your writing.

(1) Use more periods

The simplest cure for the too-full sentence is to use more periods. Break the sentence into bite-sized pieces.

"In determining the depreciation deduction, the salvage value must be considered and accounted for either by a reduction of the amount subject to depreciation or by a reduction in the rate of depreciation, but in no case shall an asset be depreciated below a reasonable salvage value."

Substitute a period for a comma in the fourth line:

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. . . reduction in the rate of depreciation. But in no case

(If starting a sentence with a conjunction makes you feel squeamish, you can still get the effect of the "but" by saying, “. . . depreciation. In no case, however, shall an asset...")

"The name on the first line must be the same as is shown on his individual income tax return, Form 1040, and since he files a joint return with his wife, both names appear on that line."

Add a period after "1040" and omit the "and."

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99

. . . on his individual income tax return, Form 1040. Since . . . "You may not deduct those expenses which are paid by others, and any expenses you pay must be reduced by amounts received from others in the form of reimbursements or allowances." This sentence can be shortened in the same way as the one above. paid by others. Any expenses you pay...

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...

(2) Put qualifying information into another sentence

Revenue writers are ringed about by a hedge of "ifs." Our sentences are long because we can rarely make a general statement about taxes without qualifying clauses. If we put such information into a separate sentence, we make our letters easier to read.

1. "The corporation charges off $4,000 during the year as enter

tainment expense, which amount represents the cost of operating and maintaining the yacht plus the cost of food and beverages consumed."

2. "You are not a dealer in securities if you buy and sell or hold securities for investment or speculation, irrespective of whether such buying or selling constitutes the carrying on of a trade or business, and even if you are an officer of a corporation or a member of a partnership."

Put the additional information into a second sentence.

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"... investment or speculation. It is immaterial whether such buying and selling constitutes the carrying on of a trade or business or whether you are an officer of a corporation or a member of a partnership."

3. "If you have met the minimum educational requirements for qualification in your position and your employer requires you to obtain further education, the cost of such education is deductible if the requirement is imposed primarily for a business purpose and not primarily for your benefit."

We can break this one into three pieces:

"Let us assume that you have met the minimum educational requirements in your job, but your employer requires you to obtain further education. The cost of this education is deductible; however, it must be education that is primarily for the benefit of the business."

(3) Itemize

Perhaps the qualifying information in the long sentence is a list of items. Take advantage of the technique of itemization to simplify the sentence for the reader and to emphasize the items. As we have said earlier, itemizing is a form of parallelism: we divide the information into small bits and express them in parallel form. The items are listed under a heading that applies to each of them; and the form of the items is the same. That is, if the first item is a short complete sentence, all the other items must be sentences. If the first item begins with a verb, begin all others with a verb. Don't mix sentences, phrases, items, and commands in a single list.