Gates are barr'd, a vain resistance! Your keys, your jewels, cash and plate; [Exit DON Cæsar. Spado. I see how this is our captain's to carry off the lady, and my brethren all the booty, what's left for me then? No, devil a bit they'll give me→→→ Oh, I must take care to help myself in time-Got nothing yet, but that portmanteau, a few silver spoons, and tops of pepper-castors; let's see, I've my tools here still-[Takes out Pistols.] Egad, I'll try and secure a little before these fellows come, and make a general sweep-Eh, [Looks out.] My made-up Fernando! [Retires. Enter PEDRILLO. Ped. He he he! Yes, my master has certainly married the little nunnery-girl-Ha! ha! ha! Alphonso to demand satisfaction of me! no, no, Don Fernando is a master for the gentlemen, I am a man for the ladies. AIR XXI-PEDRILLO. A soldier I am for a lady, What beau was e'er arm'd completer? Her chamber the place, I'm able and willing to meet her. Gad's curse, my dear lasses, I'm ready To give you all satisfaction; I am the man, For the crack of your fan, Tho' I die at your feet in the action. Your bobbins may beat up a row-de-dow, Your lap-dog may out with his bow wow now, I take up the glove, Tho' I die at your feet in the action. Spado. [Advances.] That's a fine song, signor. Spado. I did, 'twas charming. Ped. Then take a pinch of my macquabah. [Offers, and SPADO takes. Spado. Now, signor, you'll please to discharge my little bill. Ped. Bill! I don't owe you any Spado. Yes, you do, sir; recollect, didn't you ever hire any thing of me? Ped. Me! no! Spado. Oh, yes; I lent you the use of my two fine ears, to hear your song, and the use of my most capital nose, to snuff up your macquabah. Ped. Eh! what the deuce, do you hire out your senses and organs, and― Spado. Yes, and if you don't instantly pay the hire, I'll strike up a symphonia on this little barrel organ here. [Shows a Pistol. Ped. Hold, my dear sir-there-[Gives Money.] -I refuse to pay my debts!-Sir, I'm the most punctual- -[Frightened.] But if you please, rather than hire them again, I'd chuse to buy your fine nose, and your capital cars, out and out. Spado. Harkye! [In a low Tone.] You owe your Donship to a finesse of mine, so mention this, and you are undone, sirrah! Ped. Sir! [Frightened.] Dear sir! [SPADO presents pistol.]-Oh, lord, sir! [Exit. Spado. I suspect presently this house will be too hot for me, yet the devil tempts me strongly to venture in once more. If I could but pick up a few more little articles-Ecod, I'll venture, though I feel an ugly sort of tickling under my left ear- - Oh, poor Spado! [Exit. SCENE IV. A Hall in the Castle. Enter SPADO. Spado. So many eyes about-I can do nothing; if I could but raise a commotion to employ their attention-Oh! here's Don Juan, father to Fernando, just arrived-Yes, if I could but mix up a fine confusion now-ay, that's the time to pick up the loose thingsbut hold, I am told this Don Juan is very passionate -heh! to set him and Don Scipio together by the -Ears!-I have it. ears Enter DON JUAN, in a travelling Dress. Don Juan. Egad, my coming will surprise my son' Fernando, and Don Scipio too-tell him, I'm here— I hope I'm time enough for the wedding. Spado. [Slily.] A grim-looking old gentleman! Don Juan. Who's dog are you? Spado. How do you do, signor ? Don Juan. Why, are you a physician? Spado. Me a physician! Alack-a-day, no, your honour, I am poor Spado. Don Juan. Where's Don Scipio? What the devil, is this his hospitality? he has heard that I am here? Spado. He hear! Ah, poor gentleman-hear! his misfortune! Don Juan. Misfortune! What, he's married again? Spado. At the brink. Don Juan. Marry, and near threescore! What, has he lost his senses? Spado. He has nearly lost one, sir. Don Juan. But where is he? I want to ask him about it. Spado. Ask! then you must speak very loud, sir. Don Juan. Why, what, is he deaf ? Spado. Almost, sir, the dear gentleman can scarce hear a word. Don Juan. Ah, poor fellow! Hey! Isn't yonder my son? [Walks up. Spado. Now if I could bring the old ones together, I shouldn't doubt of a quarrel, Enter DON SCIPIO. Don Scipio. Ah, here's my friend Don Juan! Spado, I hope he han't heard of his son's pranks. Spado. Hear! Ah! poor Don Juan's hearing! I've been roaring to him these five minutes. Don Scipio. Roaring to him! Spado. He's almost deaf. Don Scipio. Bless me! Spado. You must bellow to him like a speakingtrumpet. [Exit SPADO. Don Scipio. [Very loud.] Don Juan, you are wel come. Don Juan. [Starting.] Hey! Strange, that your deaf people always speak loud-[Very loud.] I'm very glad to see you, Don Scipio. Don Scipio. When people are deaf themselves, they think every body else is too-How long have you been this way? [Bawling. Don Juan. Just arrived. [Bawling in his Ear. Don Scipio. I mean as to the hearing. [e, y loud. Don Juan. Ay, I find it's very bad with you. [Bawling.] Zounds, I shall roar myself as hoarse as a raven. Don Scipio. Ah, my lungs can't hold out a conversation-I must speak by signs. [Motions to drink. Don Juan. What now, are you dumb too? Enter VASQUEZ. Whispers SCIPIO. Don Scipio. Oh, you may speak out, nobody can hear but me. Don Juan. [To VASQUEZ.] Pray, is this crazy fool, your master here, going to be married? Don Scipio. What! [Surprised. Vas. [To SCIPIO.] Don Fernando would speak to you, sir. [Exit VASQUEZ. Don Scipio. I wish he'd come here, and speak_to this old blockhead, his father.-[Takes his Hand.]— Don Juan, you are welcome to my house-but I wish you had staid at home. Don Juan. I am much obliged to you. Don Scipio. You'll soon see your son-as great an ass as yourself. Don Juan. An ass! you shall find me a tiger, you old whelp! Don Scipio. Why, zounds, you're not deaf! Enter FERNANDO and VICTORIA. Fernando! hey, boy, what the devil dress is this? Don Scipio. [To VICTORIA.] What are you doing with that fellow? Vict. Your pardon, dearest father, when I own that he is now my husband. Don Scipio. Eh! eh! By this ruin, this eternal disgrace upon my house, am I punished for my unjust severity to my poor son, Don Cæsar--married to that rascal! |