Alscrip. I cannot conceive, my friend Rightly, any such inspection to be requisite. Have not I been in constant quiet possession ?

Rightly. Sir Clement insists upon it.

Alscrip. A client insist! and you, an old practitioner, suffer such a demur to your infallibility!-Ah! in my practice I had the sure means of disappointing such dabblers and divers into their own cases.

Rightly. How, pray?

Alscrip. I read his writings to him myself.-I was the best reader in Chancery-lane for setting the understanding at defiance-Drew breath but once in a quarter of an hour, always in the wrong place, and made a single sentence of six skins of parchmentShall I give you a specimen?

Rightly. [Smiling.] I have no doubt of your talent. Alscrip. Then return to Sir Clement, and follow my example.

Rightly. No, Mr. Alscrip, though I acknowledge your skill, I do not subscribe to your doctrine. The English law is the finest system of ethics, as well as government, that ever the world produced, and it cannot be too generally understood.

Alscrip. Law understood! Zounds! would you destroy the profession!

Rightly. No, I would raise it. Had every man of sense the knowledge of the theory, to which he is competent; the practice would revert to the purity of its institution, maintain the rights, and not promote the knavery, of mankind.

Alscrip. [Aside.] Plaguy odd maxims.-Sure he means to try me-[To him.] Brother Rightly, we know the world, and are alone--I have locked the door. [In a half whisper. Rightly. A very useless precaution. I have not a principle nor a proceeding that I would not proclaim at Charing Cross.

Alscrip. [Aside.] No! then I'll pronounce you the most silly, or the most impudent fellow of the fraternity.

Rightly. But where are these writings? You can have no difficulty in laying your hand upon them, for I perceive you keep things in a distinguished regularity.

Alscrip. Yes, I have distinct repositories for all papers, and especially title deeds—Some in drawers— Some in closets-[Aside.] and a few under ground.

you

Miss Als. [Rattling at the Door.] What makes lock the door, sir? I must speak to you this instant.

Alscrip. One moment, child, and I'll be ready for you. [Turning again to RIGHTLY, as to dissuade him.

Rightly. [Coolly.] If the thoughts of the weddingday make any part of the young lady's impatience. you take a bad way, Mr. Alscrip, to satisfy it; for I tell you plainly our business cannot be completed till I see these writings.

Alscrip. [Aside.] Confound the old hound-how he sticks to his scent!

[MISS ALSCRIP still at the Door. Alscrip. I am coming, I tell you. [Opens a Bureau in a confused hurry, shuffles Papers about, puts one into RIGHTLY'S Hand.] There, if this whim must be indulged, step into the next room-You, who know the material parts of a parchment lie in a nut-shell, will look it over in ten minutes.

[Puts him into another Room. Miss Als. I won't wait another instant, whatever you are about-Let me in-

Alscrip. [Opening the Door.] Sex and vehemence! What is the matter now?

Enter MISS ALSCRIP in the most violent emotion.

Miss Als. So, sir; yes, sir; you have done finely

by me indeed, you are a pattern for fathers-a precious match you had provided! [Walking about.

Alscrip. What the devil's the matter?

Miss Als. [Running on.] I, that with 50,000 independent pounds, left myself in a father's hands-a thing unheard of, and waited for a husband with unparalleled patience till I was of age

Alscrip. What the devil's the matter?

Miss Als. [Following him about.] I, that at fourteen might have married a French Marquis, my governess told me he was- -for all he was her brother

Alscrip. 'Gad a mercy, governess—~

Miss Als. And as for commoners, had not I the choice of the market? And the handsome Irish Colonel at Bath, that had carried off six heiresses before, for himself and friends, and would have found his way to Gretna-green blindfold!

Alscrip. [Aside.] 'Gad I wish you were there now, with all my heart-What the devil is at the bottom of all this?

Miss Als. Why, Lord Gayville is at the bottomAnd your hussy, that you was so sweet upon this morning, is at the bottom; a treacherous minx !—I sent her only for a little innocent diversion, as my double

Alscrip. Your what?

Miss Als. Why, my double, to vex him.

Alscrip. Double! this is the most useless attendant you have had yet. -'Gad I'll start you single handed in the art of vexation against any ten women in England!

Miss Als. I caught them, just as I did you, with your

Alscrip. Is that all? 'Gad I don't see much in that. Miss Als. Not much? what, a woman of my fortune and accomplishments turned off-rejected-renounced

Alscrip. How! renounced ?-has he broke the contract?. Will you prove he has broke the con

tract?

Miss Als. Ay. Now, my dear papa, you take a tone that becomes you; now the blood of the Alscrips rises;-rises as it ought; you mean to fight him directly, don't you?

Alscrip. O yes, I'm his man-I'll show you a lowyer's challenge, sticks and staves, guns, swords, daggers, poinards, knives, scissors and bodkins. pat more weapons into a bit of paper, six inches square, than would stock the armory of the Tower.

Miss Als. Pistols!-Don't talk to me of any thing but pistols,-my dear papa, who shall be your second?

Alscrip. I'll have two- -John Doe, and Richard

Roe

-as pretty fellows as any in England to see fair play, and as used to the differences of good company.They shall greet him with their fieri facias so don't be cast down, Molly, I'll answer for damages, to indemnify our loss of temper and reputation-he shall have a fi-fa before to-morrow night.

Miss Als. Fiery faces and damages-What does your Westminster-hall gibberish mean?-Are a woman's feelings to be satisfied with a fie-fa-you old insensible-you have no sense of family honour-no tender affections.

Alscrip. 'Gad you have enough for us both, when you want your father to be shot through the headbut stand out of the way, here's a species of family honour more necessary to be taken care of-If we were to go to law, this would be a precious set off against us. [Takes up the Deed, as if to lock it up.] This-why what the devil-I hope I don't see clear-Curse and confusion, I have given the wrong one-Here's fine work-Here's a blunder-Here's the effect of a woman's impetuosity.

Miss Als. Lord, what a fuss you are in: what is in the old trumpery scroll?

Alscrip. Plague and parchment, old Rightly will find what's in it, if I don't interrupt him—Mr. Rightly-Mr. Rightly-Mr. Rightly

[Going to the Door RIGHTLY went out at.

Enter SERVANT.

Serv. Sir, Mr. Rightly is gone.

Alscrip. Gone! whither?

Serv. Home, I believe, sir

-He came out at

the door into the hall, and he bade me tell your honour you might depend upon his reading over the deed with particular care.

Alscrip. Fire and fury, my hat and cane--[Exit SERVANT.] Here, my hat and cane. [Stamps about. Miss Als. Sir, I expect before you come home— Alscrip. Death and devils, expect to be ruined————— this comes of listening to you-The sex hold the power of mischief by prescription-Zounds!-Mischief-Mischief-is the common law of womankind. [Exit in a rage.

Miss Als. Mercy on us-I never saw him more provoked, even when my mother was alive! [Exit.