Sir Anth. Sir, I beg your pardon-I took you- hey? why, zounds! it is · Stay — [Looks up to his face.] So, so your humble servant, Mr. Saunderson! Why, you scoundrel, what tricks are you after now? Abs. Oh, a joke, sir, a joke! I came here on purpose to look for you, sir. : Sir Anth. You did! well, I am glad you were so lucky: but what are you muffled up so for? - what's this for?-hey! Abs. 'Tis cool, sir; isn't? - rather chilly somehow: - but I shall be late I have a particular engagement. me? Sir Anth. Stay! - Why, I thought you were looking for Abs. Going, sir! Sir Anth. Ay, where are you going? Sir Anth. You unmannerly puppy! Abs. I was going, sir, to-to-to-to Lydia-sir, to Lydia - to make matters up if I could; - and I was looking for you, sir, to-to— Sir Anth. To go with you, I suppose. - Well, come along. Abs. Oh! zounds! no, sir, not for the world!—I wished to meet with you, sir,-to-to-to-You find it cool, I'm sure, sir - you'd better not stay out. Sir Anth. Cool!-not at all. Well, Jack-and what will you say to Lydia? Abs. Oh, sir, beg her pardon, humour her- promise and vow: but I detain you, sir- consider the cold air on your gout. Sir Anth. Oh, not at all! - not at all! I'm in no hurry. Ah! Jack, you youngsters, when once you are wounded here [Putting his hand to CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE's breast.] Hey! what the deuce have you got here? Abs. Nothing, sir-nothing; Sir Anth. What's this? - here's something damned hard. Sir Anth. Nay, let me see your taste.—[Pulls his coat open, the sword falls.] Trinkets!. a bauble for Lydia!-Zounds! sirrah, you are not going to cut her throat, are you? Sheridan. 6 Abs. Ha! ha! ha!—I thought it would divert you, sir, though I didn't mean to tell you till afterwards. Sir Anth. You didn't? trinket, truly! Yes, this is a very diverting Abs. Sir, I'll explain to you. You know, sir, Lydia is romantic, devilish romantic, and very absurd of course: now, sir, I intend, if she refuses to forgive me, to unsheath this sword, and swear-I'll fall upon its point, and expire at her feet! Sir Anth. Fall upon a fiddlestick's end! - why, I suppose it is the very thing that would please her. Get along, you fool! hear. - -you shall I. says Abs. Well, sir, you shall hear of my success · O Lydia! — forgive me, or this pointed steel· Sir Anth. O, booby! stab away and welcomesays she. Get along! and damn your trinkets! [Exit CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE. Enter DAVID, running. Dav. Stop him! stop him! Murder! Thief! Fire! - Stop fire! Stop fire! O Sir Anthony call! call! bid 'm stop! Murder! Fire! Sir Anth. Fire! Murder! - Where? Dav. Oons! he's out of sight! and I'm out of breath! for my part! O Sir Anthony, why didn't you stop him? why didn't you stop him? Sir Anth. Zounds! the fellow's mad! Stop whom? stop Jack? ter Dav. Ay, the captain, sir! - there's murder and slaugh Sir Anth. Murder! Dav. Ay, please you, Sir Anthony, there's all kinds of murder, all sorts of slaughter to be seen in the fields: there's fighting going on, sir- bloody sword-and-gun fighting! Sir Anth. Who are going to fight, dunce? Dav. Every body that I know of, Sir Anthony: - every body is going to fight, my poor master, Sir Lucius O"Trigger, your son, the captain Sir Anth. Oh, the dog! I see his tricks. Do you know the place? Dav. King's-Mead-Fields. Sir Anth. You know the way? - Dav. Not an inch; but I'll call the mayor· - aldermen constables churchwardens many to part them. and beadles we can't be too Sir Anth. Come along - give me your shoulder! we'll get assistance as we go — the lying villain! — Well, I shall be in such a frenzy!-So- this was the history of his trinkets! I'll bauble him! [Exeunt. Enter Sir LUCIUS O'TRIGGER and ACRES, with pistols. Acres. By my valour! then, Sir Lucius, forty yards is a good distance. Odds levels and aims!—I say it is a good distance. Sir Luc. Is it for muskets or small field-pieces? Upon my conscience, Mr. Acres, you must leave those things to me.Stay now - I'll show you. — [Measures paces along the stage.] There now, that is a very pretty distance a pretty gentle man's distance. Acres. Zounds! we might as well fight in a sentry-box! I tell you, Sir Lucius, the farther he is off, the cooler I shall take my aim. Sir Luc. Faith! then I suppose you would aim at him best of all if he was out of sight! Acres. No, Sir Lucius; but I should think forty or eightand-thirty yards Sir Luc. Pho! pho! nonsense! three or four feet between the mouths of your pistols is as good as a mile. Acres. Odds bullets, no! - by my valour! there is no merit in killing him so near: do, my dear Sir Lucius, let me bring him down at a long shot:- a long shot, Sir Lucius, if you love me! Sir Luc. Well, the gentleman's friend and I must settle that. But tell me now, Mr. Acres, in case of an accident, is there any little will or commission I could execute for you? Acres. I am much obliged to you, Sir Lucius-but I don't understand Sir Luc. Why, you may think there's no being shot at without a little risk — and if an unlucky bullet should carry a quietus with it—I say it will be no time then to be bothering you about family matters. Acres. A quietus! Sir Luc. For instance, now-if that should be the case would you choose to be pickled and sent home?- -or would it be the same to you to lie here in the Abbey? - I'm told there is very snug lying in the Abbey. Acres. Pickled!-Snug lying in the Abbey! - Odds tremors! Sir Lucius, don't talk so! Sir Luc. I suppose, Mr. Acres, you never were engaged in an affair of this kind before? Acres. No, Sir Lucius, never before. Sir Luc. Ah! that's a pity!- there's nothing like being used to a thing.-Pray now, how would you receive the gentleman's shot? - Acres. Odds files!-I've practised that-there, Sir Lucius - there. [Puts himself in an attitude.] A side-front, hey? Odd! I'll make myself small enough: I'll stand edgeways. you're quite out Sir Luc. Now when I take my aim for if you stand so [Levelling at him. Acres. Zounds! Sir Lucius are you sure it is not cocked? Sir Luc. Never fear. Acres. But but you don't know own head! Sir Luc. Pho! be easy. Well, now if I hit you in the body, my bullet has a double chance for if it misses a vital part of your right side -'twill be very hard if it don't succeed on the left! Acres. A vital part! Sir Luc. But, there - fix yourself so [Placing him]-let him see the broad-side of your full front-there-now a ball or two may pass clean through your body, and never do any harm at all. a ball or two clean through Sir Luc. Ay-may they — and it is much the genteelest attitude into the bargain. Acres. Look'ee! Sir Lucius - I'd just as lieve be shot in an awkward posture as a genteel one; so, by my valour! I will stand edgeways. Sir Luc. [Looking at his watch.] Sure they don't mean to disappoint us-Hah!-no, faith--I think I see them coming. Acres. Hey! what! — coming! Sir Luc. Ay.-Who are those yonder getting over the stile? Acres. There are two of them indeed! - well-let them come-hey, Sir Lucius! -weSir Luc. Run! we -we we won't run. Acres. No-I say we won't run, by my valour! nothing my dear friend - my dear Sir Lucius -but I-1-1 don't feel quite so bold, somehow, as I did. Sir Luc. O fy!- consider your honour. my honour. Do, Sir Lucius, edge in a word or two every now and then about my honour. Sir Luc. Well, here they're coming. - [Looking. Acres. Sir Lucius · if I wa’n't with you, I should almost think I was afraid. — If my valour should leave me!- Valour will come and go. Sir Luc. Then pray keep it fast, while you have it. Acres. Sir Lucius -I doubt it is going-yes-my valour is certainly going!—it is sneaking off! — I feel it oozing out as it were at the palms of my hands! Sir Luc. Your honour - your honour. Here they are. could be shot before I was aware! |