in c.

Enter FULLER and HIRAM, L. 1 E.

Ful. Yes, sir, I accept the challenge, and you shall ride my animal. But why didn't you tell me this before? You will excuse my bluntness, I trust. Hir. You trust, dew you? Well, squire, that's sumthin' I never dew in business; but you can trust me jest as much as you please-I shan't get mad about it.

Ful. So you came from New York to ride the colonel's horse, eh?

Hir. [aside.] I guess I'll have to lay it on purty thick jest about now. [Aloud.] Yes, squire, I'm considered some pumpkins in the North for horseriding. I rid the great race between Skeedunks and Skeesicks, for two hundred dollars, and won it by coming in two hours ahead of the horse.

Ful. Ha, ha, ha! Well, that's good; but you shall stay in my house until the match-in the mean time, if you can do anything about the house you are at perfect liberty to do so.

Hir. Squire, I kin dew anything and make anything on airth for you, from a wooden darnin' needle up to a leather ham. Kin run on messages, dew chores, or anything you're a mind to put me to. Ful. Well, you're my man. By the bye, there's some tables and chairs that's rather rickety. If you will repair them, I'll pay you for it.

Hir. Anything, squire, to make money. I'll swallow one of your niggers hull, if you'll grease his head and pin his ears back. But, squire, we didn't cum tu no arrangement 'bout running that race. How much are you going to give me for ridin' your critter?

Ful. You shall have fifty dollars for the job. Hir. Squire, jest fetch along the an-i-mawl, and telegraph and greased lightnin' won't be a circumstance to the manner the critter will evaporate.

Ful. On the day of the race you shall have the money; and in the mean time make this house your home. I will have the tables brought up for you to repair. [Exit R. 1 E.

Hir. All right, old tomahawk. Wa'al now, I think I've got the old buffer in a purty straight line of business. I wonder in what direction the kitchen lays from this part of the house? I'm so cussed hungry, if I light on enny of the old codger's sweetmeats, I'll walk inter them like lightnin' into a gooseberry bush. Je-mi-ma! here comes that everlastin' purty gal.

you could roll me out intu gutter-purcher soles for wimmin's shoes! I must ask her to flop down a little. [Brings a chair.] Will you squat for a few minutes?

Jer. Well, I haven't got much objection, but I haven't much time 'bout now.

Hir. Oh, dew sit down neow-jest cave in! [She sits.] There now, that looks kinder comfortable. How have you been off for wholesome fodder lately? Hev you got much vittels in the kitchin this mornin'? [She puts her hand on the back of his chair. Seeing it.] Oh, kingdom cum! that does cool me all up in a heap. I shall hev to pop the question right off. [She removes her hand.] Say, jest put your hand there ag'in, won't you? It does make me feel so kinder "gently o'er me stealing." Jer. [aside.] Wa'al, he's the nicest young man I ever seen.

Hir. [aside.] Now's the time tu ask her tu hitch her team tu mine. I feel so unanimous I could chew an Ingee-rubber shoe. [Aloud.] Neow, miss, you haven't got enny objection tu hitch your team tu mine, have you? We can drive down the hill of life quite easy, without putting any drag on. [Aside. That'll fetch her, I reckon.

Jer. Wa'al, I don't mind gettin' married; but— Ful. [within, R.] Jerusha, Jerusha! Where is that girl?

Jer. Oh, sir-there's master callin', I must go.

Hir. Don't you purtend to hear him. Be as deaf as Persimmon Parker was he was so deaf they used tu take a sledge-hammer tu break a secret tu him.

Ful. [within, R.] Jerusha, Jerusha! Where is that girl?

Jer. Oh, sir, I must go.

Hir. But jest say the word-marry me, or I'll take pisen!

Jer. I'll tell you when I see you again. Good-bye! Ful. [within, R.] Jerusha, are you coming? Jer. Coming, sir, coming!

[Exit R.

Hir. I'm a perfect giraffe if I don't marry that gal, give up peddlin', and live happy with a couple of dozen little dodgers dodging around me. But, by gridiron, I do feel sharp set! I wonder whar the kitchen is? Oh, land of promise! If I could only come in contact with a pig's head, how it would disappear! [Exit R. I E.

Enter CHARLES and MARIA, L. 1 E.

Char. Dearest Maria, I have just escaped from your father, who would not suffer me to leave the table since I have been in the house. Now, as we have very little time to talk to each other, we must arrange our plans for leaving the house unknown to your father. Then two hours' ride will find us in Richmond, and there, Maria, we shall be united. Mar. But should my father find out your real name and station-for he has intercepted letters that I had endeavored to send you should he discover you-all our hopes are destroyed!

Char. Nay, Maria, all will be well. You must now excuse me-I must return to your father, or he will notice my abrupt departure from the parlor. So farewell till evening.

[Kisses her. HIRAM appears at window. Hir. Je-ru-sa-lem [MARIA runs off, L. 1 E. Char. A spy!

Hir. You can keep on duin' it—I won't be mad. Char. [catching him by the throat.] Why, you

infernal, sneaking scoundrel, what brought you to that window?

Hir. Wa'al, if you want to know--my legs! Char. I'll send you out of the window without requiring the aid of your legs.

Hir. Wa'al, if you want me to go and tell the old man 'bout kissin' on his darter, I'll go and let him know all about it.

Char. [aside.] Egad, I've spoken too roughly to this fellow; he may ruin all my hopes. [Aloud.] I beg your pardon, I have spoken too harshly. If you will not mention what has taken place in this room, I will give you five dollars.

Hir. Jest fork over; I'll shut paw for a month, and get you out of the scrape jest as easy as eatin' horse-radishes without sugar or butter.

Char. [giving money.] Keep this a secret, and I'll befriend you-betray me, and I'll horse whip [Exit L. 1 E.

you.

Hir. Oh, git eout! If you horsewhip me I'll give you leave. Cover me all over with tater skins-five dollars! That's a purty good commencement for a day's work, besides what I made out of the squire's niggers.

Enter FULLER, POMPEY and three DARKIES carrying a table; they set it down R. and go off R. 1 E.

Oh, Jehosaphat! Four niggers carryin' one table! They're 'bout as weak as old Granny Dobson was -she was so weak that she was obliged to have three or four mustard plasters applied to help her draw her last breath. She was a dreadful sour old critter-she used to hire out two months in the year for picklin'.

Ful. This is the table I wish you to repair. Hir. [very confidentially.] Say, squire, that's a mighty nice gal of yourn- that's a fine young man, too, you've got in the house.

t

Ful. I'll follow him; I'll teach him a lesson he'll not forget in many a day. [Exit R. 1 E. Hir. Now, as I've sent the old man on the wrong track, I'll tell the young man to leave the premises. [Looking off, R.] Here comes the old man back again—I'd better make tracks. Fifteen dollars-oh, sour-krout and grasshoppers! [Exit L. 1 E.

Enter FULLER, R. 1 E.

Ful. Hang that Yankee rascal, he sent me a tramp for nothing-he was not to be found; I see it all-it was a scheme to get ten dollars out of me. I'll serve the scoundrel out for it, and I'll guarantee he'll never play tricks with me again. Pompey ho, Pompey!

Enter POMPEY, R. 1 E. Pompey, bring me pen, ink, paper and a wafer. Pom. Yes, massa. [Exit R. 1 E. Ful. I'll teach the Yankee scoundrel to play tricks on me.

Enter POMPEY, with pen, ink, etc.

Now I'll cool your impudence, Mr. Yankee. [Writes on POMPEY'S back.] Stand still, you rascal. [Writes, repeating as he writes.] "Please give the bearer one hundred lashes.”

Pom. What! me, massa?

Ful. No, not you, sir. Leave the room! [Exit POMPEY, R. 1 E.] Now we'll see, Mr. Peddler, whether your back will stand more than my pocket. Ah, here he comes.

Enter HIRAM, playing on a jew's-harp. Hir. Ah, how are you, squire? You didn't make out to catch that young man, did you?

Ful. No, that was a devilish clever trick; but I forgive you-I never mind such jokes-I forgive you.

Hir. Wa'al, you needn't apologize, squire, I don't feel a bit mad about it.

Hir. Why, you see, squire, the young man gave me sumthin' not to say anything about it--and 1 didn't think it right for me to let out for nuthin'. Ful. [giving money.] I see how it is there's five dollars for you.

Hir. But the young man gave me as much as that, and you know I don't like to

Ful. Well, there's five dollars more for youand now the whole story.

Hir. You see, squire, as I said before, I came into this room rayther sudden, and there stood this young man with his arms right round your gal's waist, and-and

Ful. Well, what then?

Hir. Why, then he had his arm round her waist. Ful. Well, yes, I know that—but go on. Hir. Wa'al, bymeby he kinder got nearer to her.

Ful. Well, what then?

Hir. He commenced cuddlin' her.

seer? You see, I have a young colt which I wish to have shod-tell him to put them on heavy-you understand?

Hir. Yes, squire, I'll do it; give me the document.

Ful. Recollect, "put them on heavy." [Aside.] Now, sir, you will find I can punish you for your tricks. [Exit R. 1 E.

Hir. Let me think-I'm tu take this down tu the overseer and tell him tu put them on heavy. Now why couldn't he just as well send one of his niggers with this 'ere note? I wonder what's in it. [Looks in note.] Je-ru-sa-lem! [Reads.] Give the bearer of this one and two O's-that's one hundred-give the bearer one hundred lashes. No you don't, old Gibralter-you kin chaw me up inter sassage-meat if you kin give me one hundred lashes enny how you can fix it.

Enter SLINGSBY, L. 1 E.

Sling. Well, sir, you've kept me waiting since nine o'clock this morning, until I concluded at last I had better come into the house for you. Have you seen the squire? Has he accepted the

Sling. Sir, I'm extremely obliged to you; I'll take the note.

Hir. No you won't; you promised me sumthin' for duin' the job-so shell out.

Sling. [giving money.] Oh, yes, sir, of course. There's two dollars for you, and I'm much obliged to you. I'm to give this note to the overseer and tell him to put them on heavy? All right, I understand. [Exit L. 1 E. Hir. If you don't understand it, you will in about ten minutes. [Looking R.] Here comes the old buster. I'll hev tu cave in for about a minute. [Hides R. 2 E.

Enter FULLER, cautiously. Ful. By this time he must be near the overseer's shed. How the rascal will jump when he finds out the errand he has been sent on.

Hir. [aside, from hiding-place.] How the other poor devil will jump, you mean.

[Whip-snapping heard outside. Sling. [outside, L. 1 E. Murder! [Whip.] Murder! help! help!

Ful. [laughing.] Give it to him! Hir. behind FULLER, imitating him.] Yes, give it tu him-lash him!

Ful. [turning and seeing HIRAM.] The devil! Oh, you infernal scoundrel! [HIRAM puts his finger to his nose and runs off R. 1 E., followed by FULLER; enters at window_c. and hides in L. corner; FULLER enters R. HIRAM places tables and chairs under window and runs off R., laughing.

SCENE III.-Wood; part of the race-course seen; rope running through posts at back.

Enter HIRAM, L. U. E., running, coat-tail off. Hir. Wa'al, I got clear of the old codger purty slick. I lost sumthin' though. [Shows coat-tail.] And I made sumthin' by gettin' inter that house. [Counts money.] Seventeen! he might have taken all the tails I've got for that money.

Enter JENNINGS, L. 1 E.

Jen. How very provoking to think that Slingsby should be disabled from riding, now that Mr. Fuller insists on running the race immediately-this very day. Of course he is aware of my having no person to ride my horse, and therefore expects to obtain the forfeit-money in the event of my not having my animal ready mounted and on the course at the hour appointed. What shall I do? Hir. [coming down.] Don't do nuthin', but jest pay me and I'll ride your horse to kingdom cum, and beat the squire's mare inter the bargain!

Jen. If you'll ride my horse, sir, I'll give you fifty dollars.

Hir. Don't say nuthin' more about it. Jest let me mount your critter, and if I don't make him fly I'll eat your horse and the squire too.

Jen. Then in half an hour meet me at the Grand Stand. I may depend on you? Hir. You kin, colonel.

Jen. Remember, in half an hour!

Enter CHARLES, L. 2 E.

Char. So I've caught you at last, you deceitful rascal! [Catching him by the throat.] Not content with my paying you, you thought proper to betray me.

Hir. Now jest let go my wizzin, will you? Didn't I cum and tell you to leave before the old man got so orful riley?

Char. Yes; but you did not tell me it was yourself that informed him of our interview this morning.

Hir. Neow don't you git so everlastin' huffy. You want to marry that gal-now listen tu me. Squire Fuller wants tu git somebody to ride his mare dreadful bad-be'll give anything for somebody tu ride the race. Neow, I'll tell you what tu do-disguise yourself and offer to ride for him, and, as I'm goin' to ride the colonel's horse, I won't try tu beat you, so you can win the race, and then ask old Beeswax for the gal.

Char. A good idea, truly; succeed I'll reward you well. guise immediately.

I'll try that, and if I I'll procure the dis[Exit R. 1 E. Hir. I've set that chap all right, and I reckon I'll make sumthin' by it. I wonder how the old man is about this time-he had a dreadful time runnin' me round the garden. He didn't run very fast, though; I dodged him around a ditch for about five minutes-he did puff and blow so! Ha, ha, ha! At last he made a short step, and fell right splash into the ditch. Ha, ha, ha! You had oughter seen him when he cum out with his eyes, nose and mouth chock full of mud, and dirt from head to foot. He put me in mind of Betsy Wottick's children-they're so everlastin' dirty, they have to rub bricks to their faces when they want to shut their eyes!

Enter JENNINGS, L. 1 E.

Jen. Now, sir, everything is ready.

Hir. Then go ahead, steamboat. Whar's the critter I've tu ride? I'll straddle him like a mosquito would a cow's tail.

[Exit HIRAM and JENNINGS, R. U. E. Enter MARIA, DINAH, POMPEY, NEGROES, etc. Mar. Well, Pompey, are the riders mounted? Pom. [looking off R. U. E.] Yes, missey, the Yankee's on the colonel's hoss, and dere's a handsome young man on massa's. Now they're a-goin' to start.

Mar. Do you see my father?

Pom. Yes, missey, by the Grand Stand. Now they'se started-de Yankee's ahead. [Shouts, R. U. E.] Now, then, massa's mare is cotchin' up. [Shout.] Now the Yankee's passed. [Shout.] Massa's horse is ahead. By gum, missey, de Yankee's fell off his horse! I golly, missey, he's a dead Yankee! he's broke his neck, sure!

Mar. I trust he's not seriously hurt! see, they are bringing him this way.

Enter FULLER, CHARLES dressed as a jockey, JENNINGS, COWPENS and SPECTATORS. HIRAM is brought in on a bier, followed by JERUSHA, crying.

have beaten any horse in the Union! But, sir, how shall I repay you for your trouble? Ask for anything in my power to give, and you shall have it.

Well, well

Char. [R. C.] Then, sir, your daughter. Ful. [c.] Eh? Oh! I didn't sayif she is satisfied, I have no objection. Maria. I am indeed, father-you have confirmed my dearest wish. I thank you.

Ful. [looking at HIRAM on bier.] Say no more about it, my dear. We would now spend a happy day, but this sad misfortune has cast a gloom over all. The poor fellow was very clever, although he did play some hard tricks upon me. To say the truth, I feel bad about the occurrence. I'd give forty dollars if he was alive again. Hir. [raising up.] Jest fork over. Omnes. Not dead!

Hir. [coming down, c.] No, I'll be darned if I am. But, squire, jest shell out them forty dollars.

Ful. [giving money.] There's the money-but if you trick me again, I'll eat my head.

Hir. [counting money.] Five-ten is fifteentwo is seventeen-and forty is fifty-seven dollars

-a pretty good day's work, I reckon. Now, all I want is to marry a certain person that don't live five miles from here. [Looking at JERUSHA.] Say, you ain't enny dreadful objection tu marry me, hev you?

Jer. Oh, I don't like to say yes, afore all these people. I feel kinder skeered.

Hir. What, you won't marry me! arter my fallin' in love with you, over head and ears and shirt collar, and all I've been duin' on you? Oh, false feminine!

Jer. There, now, don't flummix-I was only a-funnin'. I'm yourn till death! [Crosses L. C.

Hir. Oh, you can scrape me to death if I ain't the slickest white man about these diggin's. But, squire, you must confess I'm some pumpkins on speculations.

Ful. I never doubted your ability.
Char. Nor I.

Hir. Then all will be right, if our kind friends here will but overlook the Yankee dodging of Hiram Dodge, and will wish success to Mrs. Dodge, and all the little Dodges.

THE END.