Lady J. Oh, heaven! He is free, then! Charles. As free as you or I, madame. Lady J. The thought of it makes me tremble! The very name of Crackskull inspires me with terror! Morally and physically, I am told, he is a frightful monster-a hideous ruffian ! Charles. You have been misinformed, madame. Lady J. Ah, true! you have seen him, and can tell me Charles. His hair is exactly like mine. Charles. He has my nose, my mouth, and my whiskers. Lady J. [uneasily.] You must resemble him, then, very strikingly, sir. Charles. Very strikingly, madame. Lady J [very uneasy.] And his age? Charles. Is mine precisely-although not twins, we were born together. Lady J. Good heavens! then-[CHARLES locks door L. 2 E., then goes over and locks door R. U. E., LADY JANE shrinking in great terror. Lady J. Wh-what are you about? you, sir? Who are Charles. [advancing to centre, and throwing himself into a melodramatic attitude.] I am the dreaded Crackskull! Ha, ha, ha! Lady J. [crouching, L. Horror! Charles. [c.] Not a cry-not a gesture! Lady J. Shut up with Crackskull-awful! Charles. Remember that you yourself introduced me. Lady J. Oh, dear! Charles. Caused violence to be employed to bring me here. Lady J. What would you do, sir? [Producing her purse.] Here is some loose silver. Charles. [with a violent start.] What do you take me for? Lady J. I beg your pardon, Mr. Crackskull, you require gold, of course! Charles. You suppose me, then, a common the ground.] I will be silent! I-I swear it! [CHARLES raises himself on the points of his toes and looks down threateningly at her; a moment's pause; then a knocking is heard at door L. 2 E. Joyfully.] Ah! [Starts up and runs towards door L. 2. E. CHARLES follows, drags her back, throws her round to R., and casts himself into an extravagant attitude. Servant. [knocking.] My lady, my lady! Charles. [c.] You may answer, madame. Lady J. [R. C., agitated and trembling.] Wh-what is the matter, Andrew? Servant. [without.] A telegraphic message that the Merediths are not coming at all-they can't the whole country is flooded, and it's raining again, harder than ever. Charles. The devil! I must go, then. I should be too easily arrested here. [Aside.] And besides, the lesson is sufficient. [Aloud.] Madame, I take my leave of you, and I am quite certain you have no wish to detain me. Servant. [without.] Sir, sir, you had better make haste and go, for people say there will be such an inundation soon that nobody will be able to leave the place for at least a couple of months. Lady J. Two months! oh, alone in my misery for two months! [Calling to CHARLES, who has opened door L. 2 E.] Sir-sir-[he returns] answer me frankly. Charles. [L. C.] What? Lady J. [R. C.] You have often stopped, molested, robbed and plundered travelers? Charles. I have been a robber from my cradle, madame. Lady J. But your hands have never been stained with blood? Charles. Never. [Falling on one knee and raising his hand.] Witness my solemn oath. Lady J. Well, then, remain. You are a wretch, but I prefer a robber to-miserable solitude; a thief to everlasting doldrums; a criminal to the country after eight months' wet weather. Charles. Then of course you intend to marry me? Lady J. Horrible idea! Charles. You know that I am not a glazier; I am of good family, related to the Merediths of Seaton Lodge. Lady J. The Merediths? Charles. Whom you and I were both expecting own-here. Mrs. Meredith, you must know, is using her endeavors to get me married to a lady of this neighborhood. Lady J. What, then, would you have? Charles. My wishes are the same as your amusement during the wet weather. Lady J. What, then, must I do? Charles. Fall in love with me directly. Lady J. [shrinking, terrified.] Oh, oh! Charles. [going to her, grasping her arm, and drawing her to c.] Speak, have you fallen in love with me? [She slips away and dodges round table. Lady J. Mercy, Mr. Crackskull, mercy! Charles. [trying to reach her.] Mercy Ha, ha, ha! No, I want amusement during the rain; your love or your life. Lady J. Gracious! why, I am that lady. Charles. Is it possible that you are Lady Jane? Lady J. And you are- Charles. Captain Charles Lumley. Lady J. [smiling.] You are sure you are not Mr. Crackskull ? Charles. [also smiling.] That respectable gentleman is at this moment occupying a not very comfortable apartment in Newgate. [Rain heard. Lady J. It's raining dreadfully. "Harder than Lady J. Oh, don't, Mr. Crackskull, don't! Charles. Then love me to distraction immedi-ever. ately. Dare not to trifle with me; I am a desper- Charles. Let it; it cannot damp my happiness ate man-at war with the whole world-especial- if it rains a deluge, for to-morrow you will become ly the police! [Suddenly darts round table, grasp ing her arm and dragging her to c. my wife. Lady J. Not quite so fast, sir; although I fear that with proper persuasion I may ultimately become a victim to the united influence of "LOVE AND RAIN." THE END. THE NEW YORK TRAGEDIES, A CHOICE COLLECTION OF COMEDIES, WITH DRAMA FARCES, ETC., CASTS OF CHARACTERS, STAGE BUSINESS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c., ADAPTED TO THE HOME CIRCLE, PRIVATE THEATRICALS, AND THE AMERICAN STAGE. VOL. 2. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1876, by WHEAT & CORNETT, in the Office NO. 15. quality; for I have no doubt whatever that these THE FOLLIES OF A NIGHT: lines have been written by some lady of high rank SCENE I.-Foyer, or Saloon of the Opera House, CHORUS.-(" Danse des Folies, Gustave.") Merrily! merrily! merrily! merrily! Come where Beauty Love, in whispers soft conveyed, Heart surrender Quickly, at the Masquerade. and exceeding beauty, who has been struck with Of girls I've wooed a score, But to a dame of quality I never spoke before! As the hour draws near I scarce can draw my breath; At Beauvais, they used to say I scarce can draw my breath, etc. Enter DR. DRuggendraft, R. U. E. Dr. D. [reading a note.] "Be at the masquerade to-night at twelve precisely, in the saloon, Who could and immediately under the clock." have sent me this note? I burn with impatience to behold the writer! Some lady of the Court, fascinated by my manners and dazzled by my reputation. [Reads the address.] "To Dr. Druggendraft, Physician in ordinary to their Royal Highnesses, the Duke and Duchess de Chartres." Let me see! let me see! My old countrywoman, the Countess of Klatterhausen, who came from Bavaria with the Duchess of Orleans! Venus forbid! Mlle. Duval, the new and lovely lady in waiting on the Duchess de Chartres; if it should! |—but no-I can scarcely venture to hope so; and yet, a poor dependent on the Duchess' bounty, she may have been flattered by the attentions of a man of my talent and influence. [Masquers gradually disperse. Enter PIERRE PALLIOT, R. U. E. Pie. [advancing and looking around.] Wonders will never cease! I am here, actually here-and twelve months ago who would have deemed it Pie. [aside, looking at his note.] I am sure it probable, nay, possible? But it's quite true, will turn out to be from the lady who let her. unless I am in a dream. Here do I stand, Pierre handkerchief fall from her coach the day before Palliot, aged twenty-two, native of Beauvais, son yesterday. of Michel Palliot, blacksmith and farrier, here Dr. D. [aside.] It must be from Mlle. Duval. do I positively stand in the saloon of the Opera Pie. [aside.] It's just twelve. She'll be here House, in the Palais Royal at Paris, with an in an instant, whoever she is! There's a seat assignation in my hand from a lovely woman of under the clock-I'll take possession of it! Dr. D. [aside.] There's a seat under the clock Master Palliot, I consider that your friend has -I'll secule it. [As he turns towards it, PIERRE taken a most unwarrantable liberty with my seats himself.] Confound it! there's a fellow just name, and I request you will tell him so. I wish popped himself into it. [To PIERRE.] I beg your you good evening. pardon, sir; but would you allow me to sit there? Pie. With the greatest pleasure, sir, after me. Dr. D. Excuse me, sir, but I mean now. Pie. Excuse me, sir, I cannot move at present. Dr. D. But, sir, I am sure, when I tell you that I have a particular reason Pie. And, sir, when I tell you that I have particular reason Dr. D. But, my dear sir, I assure you that I have an appointment of the utmost confidence. Pie. But, my dear sir, so have I. Dr. D. What! under this clock, sir? Pie. Immediately under this clock, sir-at twelve precisely. Dr. D. [aside.] The devil! " At twelve precisely " "Immediately under the clock." The very words in my note! Can it be a woman in male attire? [Aloud.] Will you allow me to inquire did you expect to see me here ? Pie. Haven't the slightest notion who you are, sir. Dr. D. Sir, you have quoted words which are contained in this note, and I must therefore insistPie. In that note-they are in this note! [Comes forward, L. Both. [reading their notes at the same time.] "Be at the masquerade to-night at twelve precisely, in the saloon, and immediately under the clock.” Dr. D. Ha! Pie. Eh? Dr. D. Word for word! Pie. Letter for letter! Dr. D. Sir! there must be some mistake. You will perceive, this letter is plainly addressed to me. Pie. And this to me. [They exchange notes. Dr. D. [reading.] “Monsieur Pierre Palliot, No. 7 Rue de L'Echelle." Pie. "To Dr. Druggendraft, Physician in ordinary to their Royal Highnesses, the"-Good gracious! You Dr. Druggendraft? Why, then, you're my uncle! Oh, my dear uncle! [Going to embrace him. Dr. D. Gently, gently, if you please. Do you mean to say— Pie. I mean to say that I am Pierre Palliot, son of Michel Palliot, blacksmith and farrier, of Beauvais, who married your sister, who is my mother, and from whom I have a letter, which I have never been able to give you because you were never at home, though I've called ten times at least. Dr. D. [aside.] Deuce take him! How provoking! [Aloud.] Well, well, young man, admit that you are the person you represent yourself, that does not clear up the mystery of these notes --this ridiculous rencontre. Pie. Yes, yes, I think it will-I have a clue to it now. It's Coquillard. Dr. D. Coquillard! Who's Coquillard ? [Going. Pie. Why, you're not going off so, without my mother's letter-I've got it in my pocket--I've always carried it about with me, in case I should meet you by accident. There it is. [Producing letter, and giving it to DR. DRUGGENDRAFT.] Read it; you'll find I am recommended especially to your protection. Dr. D. [putting the letter unread into his pocket.] Master Palliot, I tell you what I will do for you. If you will return to Beauvais to-morrow morning, and promise that I shall never hear of you any more, I will pay your traveling expenses, and feel obliged to you into the bargain. Pie. Go back to Beauvais! Now that I have found an uncle in Paris who can make my fortune for me! for my mother assures me you can do it with a word— Dr. D. Your mother flatters me and deceives you. Go back to Beauvais, my good lad. You may make a very respectable blacksmith, but you have neither education nor person to warrant a hope of your success here. Pie. Neither education nor person? I'm a capital fencer, and can play the flute and the violin; and as to person, though I have not yet perhaps acquired so distinguished an air as your Paris gallants, I beg to inform you that I have already been noticed by a lady of rank and fortune. Dr. D. [contemptuously.] You? In what way, prithee? Pie. She dropped her handkerchief out of her carriage window-a carriage with four horses, uncle! I picked it up and ran after the carriage to give it her back again; but she never stopped to take it! Dr. D. Because she never missed it, of course. Do you know who the lady was? Pie. No, I didn't see her face; but the handkerchief is embroidered, and has a coronet on it, and a cipher; here it is perhaps you can tell me. [Producing a handkerchief. Dr. D. A coronet and cipher? [Taking handkerchief and examining it. Aside.] Mercy preserve me! What do I see? Pie. Well? Dr. D. [aside.] 'Tis hers, no doubt! Dr. D. No. [Aside.] And to think of this young coxcomb presuming to suppose that no matter; to prevent any scandalous misinterpretations— [Puts handkerchief into his pocket. Pie. Hey-day! I say, what are you going to do with it? Dr. D. Keep it. "Tis the best service I can render you; good evening. Pie. But, uncle Dr. D. If you determine to return to Beauvais, remember, I will pay your expenses. Pie. But I won't do any such thing; I will stay at Paris; I want to be a doctor-like you. Pie. Jean Coquillard, a schoolfellow of mine, the only creature I know in Paris; I met him yesterday, as I was coming back from one of my fruitless calls on you, and told him that I despaired altogether of finding you. Upon which he laughed, and said that in less than two days he would bring us face to face! And he has done so! Ha! ha! ha! The cunning rogue! Ha! ha! ha! Pie. What, do you really mean to treat the only Dr. D. [aside.] The impertinent rascal! son of your only sister in this way? Very well Dr. D. A doctor? a horse doctor, perhaps, at Beauvais; a doctor like me, indeed-it will be some time, I fancy, before anybody sees a doctor like me! Go home, young man, be advised; or at all events, let me never hear any more of you. very well, Dr. Druggendraft, I shall stay in Paris notwithstanding. We shall see, we shall see! [Walks about angrily. Enter a SERVANT, R. U. E., who recognizes the DOCTOR, and gives him a note. Ser. [R., aside to the DOCTOR.] From her Royal Highness Dr. D. From her Royal Highness? Quick! let me peruse. [Reads note to himself. Pie Because I've been brought up in the country-because I've not such fine clothes! Oh, we shall see, we shall see! Dr. D. [aside.] Impossible! Not to be thought of! She must be out of her senses to imagineSer. [aside to the DOCTOR.] Her Royal Highness is waiting. Dr. D. I come on the instant. Oh, I must prevent her-I cannot suffer-it would be downright madness. Going. Pie. Dr. Druggendraft, do you persist? ess de Chartres, the daughter of his majesty, Louis the Fourteenth, at a public masquerade during the absence of her royal husband, without his sanction or knowledge, what motives may not be attributed Duch. My motives, sir, cannot be doubted. I have known all my life how Princes pass their time at Court. I wished to see how people amused themselves in Paris, and as I am not likely to learn that by remaining in this saloon, I beg, as we are here, that we may descend at once into the ball-room. Dr. D. But, madame, your Royal Highness has no idea of the liberty, the license that reigns in a masquerade of this description. You will expose yourself to see and hear many things Duch. Which I never saw or heard before. That is precisely my object in coming, as I have already told you, so a truce to your sermons. If I faint, there is Mile. Duval to catch me and you to bring me to again. We are still actually under Dr. D. Oh, by-the-by. [To SERVANT.] Look the roof of the Palais Royal-in two minutes I can well at that young man. If ever he should pre-retreat through this gallery to my own apartsent himself at the door of my apartments in the palace, remember, I am not at home. Ser. I shall take care, sir. [Intercepting him. Dr. D. Good-by, young man; if you would make a noise in the world, stick to your father's sledge-hammer. [Exit, followed by SERVANT, R. U. E. Pie There's an uncle for you; the children in the wood hadn't one so barbarous. It's enough to Imake one forswear uncles. If I were King of France I'd abolish uncles. Go back to Beauvais! be a blacksmith-a horse doctor! I'll let him know. I'll go to Coquillard the first thing in the morning; he said yesterday that a young fellow was never thought anything of in Paris till he had a mistress or a duel. I'll have both directly, I will, and I'll see if I can't make a noise in the world without a sledge-hammer. [Going out furiously, runs against the DUKE DE CHARTRES.] Stand out of my way, do! Exit L. U. E. Duke. [hastily picking up his mask, which PIERRE had knocked off] Confound the fellow! Is he mad or drunk Luckily no one was near to see me unmasked. What a set of ruffians there! is at these public masquerades; I wonder any women trust themselves in such a crowd, and yet there are hundreds here, and some elegant looking creatures, too. What the deuce has become of Brissac? I thought I saw him go this way. [Exit up the stage L., looking about. Enter DR. DRUGGENDRAFT, with the DUCHESS on one arm and MLLE. DUVAL on the other, R. U. The DUCHESS is in a pink domino and E. MLLE. DUVAL in a blue one. Dr. D. From that gallery, madame, you may behold without danger; but pray keep on your mask. Duch. I cannot-it smothers me; I must breathe a little; there is no one here at this moment to, see us. Dr. D. If it should get to the Duke's ears what will become of me? Duch. The Duke is at Compeigne with the army. Dr. D. It will be of no avail, your Royal Highness must pardon my saying-I ought not to have obeyed them. Only consider, madame, the Duch ments; and if even cut off from that, I have the key of the private entrance from the street. In short, I am bent on the frolic and will not be disappointed. Besides— AIR. DUCHESS. Le Boquet de Bal.' Mlle. D. Your spirits run away with you, mad ame. Duch. Fear nothing. I can keep my seatDr. D. Your mask! your mask, madame-here's company coming. Enter DUKE, L. U. E. Duke. I can see nothing of Brissac. Who have we here? I certainly should know that shufflingshambling gait! I'll venture a wager it's my old German physician, Doctor Druggendraft. Oh, it is, there can be no doubt; and with a girl on each arm, too. The old monopolist! [The DOCTOR keeps turning round with the LADIES as the DUKE tries to examine them.] How he twists about, like a trussed fowl on the spit. He is evidently afraid of losing either his liver or his gizzard! That pink domino under his right wing has a mighty pretty air about her. If I could only find my aidede-camp, we'd relieve him of both his charges in ten minutes. Ah, there's Brissac. [Exit R. Dr. D. Phew! Thank goodness, he's gone at last. I began to tremble. Duch. To own the truth, so did I. Mlle. D. I was so frightened I could scarcely breathe. Duch. I really think that man knows one of us, or had some suspicion. Dr. D. Don't say so, madame, or I shall sink. Mlle. D. Oh, mercy! Here he comes again with another. Dr. D. I feel something terrible will happen. Re-enter DUKE with BRISSAC, R. Duke. [to BRISSAC.] Yes! they are still here. Mlle. D. I beseech you, madame, let us retire. Duch. No, no, let us lose them in the crowd 'tis the best plan. Dr. D. This way, then; quick, quick. [Exeunt DOCTOR, DUCHESS and MLLE. DUVAL, L. U. E. Duke. Hippocrates has taken the alarm! Follow him, Brissac. He doesn't know you, and when you get into the thick of the crowd, make a dash, and separate him from the pink domino. I'll watch you from hence. Run, run, or you'll lose them! [As BRISSAC runs out PIERRE enters, R. U. E., and runs against him; PIERRE's hat is knocked out of his hand. SCENE II.-The Street. Night. Enter the DUKE, running; he stops short and looks on all sides. Duke. No trace of her, by all that's provoking! Confound Brissac swore she made for the street. that fool of a Scaramouch who knocked my hat over my eyes; in that instant I lost sight of her! Enter BRISSAC, hastily. Brissac! you must have made a mistake-she is not this way-let us return, and Bri. Not if you would remain unknown, sir. The police are after us-I have had a sharp run for it. Duke. The police-what for? Bri. Nay, I know not. The girl in blue made some complaint to the commissary. Duke. Fiddle faddle-complaint-that we didn't run after her, I suppose? Bri. No; the offense, I think, seemed to be our pursuit of the pink one. The old Doctor was half crazy. Pie. Stand out of my way, do. Stop! Pick up that hat, sir, as you knocked it out of my hand. Do you hear? Come back, sir! He won't hear, and he doesn't come back. So much the better! I'm insulted! The very thing I wanted. He shall give me satisfaction. If I can find him again— Duke. Ha, ha! He little guessed who were his [As he is going toward his hat to pick it up, the tormentors. But as to the lady, she should not DUKE, who is watching BRISSAC, kicks it out of his have taken flight if she didn't wish us to follow way.] Hollo, sir! Do you know what you are doing? Duke. Go to the devil! [Aside.] There they are! I see them! Pie. Go to the devil! Sir, I must insistDuke. What's the matter with you? Pie. Sir, do you know you kicked my hat? Duke. Sir, if you pester me I shall kick you! Pie. Kick me! Sir, you shall fight me! You have insulted me, and I demand satisfaction! [Aside.] I've got this fellow, and I'll stick to him. Duke. [aside.] How shall I get rid of this fool? Pie. There's my address, sir. No. 7 Rue de L'Echelle. Duke. Very well-you shall hear from me. [Aside.] He shall have a month in the Bastile ! Pie. I shall expect it, sir. You will favor me with your name and address, sir. Duke. [looking out and aside.] Bravo, Brissac! He's got the pink domino away. She breaks from him, though, and there she runs— Pie. And to-morrow morning, sir, I shall teach you a lesson. Duke. [aside.] She's mine! she's mine! [Runs out, L. U. E. Pie. [not perceiving his exit.] You will find that I am not a man to be insulted with impunity; Your name, if you please, sir. [Turning.] Gone! Without giving his name! Well-it doesn't signify-he's got mine, and if he isn't a rank coward I shall hear from him in the morning. Yes, yes, I think I am sure of my duel! And now for a mistress. If a pretty woman would but throw herself in my way— Enter the DUCHESS, hastily, L. U. E. Duch. Save me! save me! her. AIR.-DUKE.-(Old French Air, adapted by Mr. T. Cooke.) with women, as with other game, the pleasures in the chase, Once caught, the interest ceases-yet to blame us they ve the face! If they would not be hunted, why so chary of their charms! Can't they fling themselves at once into the nearest lover's arms? 'Tis wicked, it's immoral, to run after them, they say When 'tis very clear we couldn't if they didn't run away. Pie. [placing her in a chair, c.] Phew! I've managed it! I didn't mind the level ground; but six pair of stairs breathed me! I began to think I should never get up the last flight. Here we are, however, and the lady still insensible! Mercy upon us-if she should be dead! I may be hanged for murder! I've a great mind to carry her down again into the street! [The DUCHESS moves and utters a sigh.] Ah! she's not dead at all events! I'll get a light and a glass of water! [Runs into bedchamber, R. Duch. [reviving.] All dark-where am I? what has happened? Mlle. Duval-Doctor-am I dreaming? What place is this?-ah, I remember! an uproar, a confusion-I was pursued by some one. Gracious powers! whither have they transported me? Help, help! Pie. [within.] Coming! coming, madame, directly! Duch. A stranger's voice! Where shall I fly? [Feeling about the room. [is fainting; PIERRE catches her. Pie. Here's one at a wish-madame, with the greatest pleasure-I-eh-why, she has fainted. Poor soul, she really has fainted. Here's an ad- Re-enter venture somebody's pursuing her she begged me to save her; I will save her! I'll be her guardian angel, and waft her- Gad's life! it's as much as I can, though! [Exit, carrying DUCHESS, R. PIERRE, with a lighted candle and a glass of water, R. Pie. Here-here's a glass of water, madame. I'm sorry I've nothing better to offer you, but[She turns, she starts.] Oh! what a beautiful creature! |