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we all have confidence that its members should all help it by all the means we ship includes possessors of all the knowl can, mental and spiritual, hand and edge and experience necessary to that voice and printed word. duty. The office of people, in the Our best hopes for the conference and churches or out, whose belief is vivid for any radical improvement in the and practiced enough to get help out of methods of conducting human life on the invisible world, is to bring the con this planet are, frankly, religious hopes, ference that help. It will surely need based on the birth we celebrate at it; it is likely to win or lose according as Christmas, and the ministry and the it gets it or not; and, since the world teachings that followed. If there is not has need that the conference should enough in Christianity to save our preswin something effectual, let all helpers ent edifice of civilization-enough wishelp with all they know and all they dom, enough illumination, enough power can.

-then the outlook is far from bright, Miss Jane Addams went to the League for other means have been tried repeatsittings at Geneva and reported when edly in past ages, and there are only she came away that the League needed ruins to show for the civilizations they humanizing. So will the conference need could not save. humanizing, and it is the office of all No, not ruins only; but besides them us-of the mass of interested people—to an imperfect record of experiences. We humanize it every day all we can. If it know, in a way, the course those earlier is to be a success, it must be a popular civilizations ran and through what proc

It cannot be a success of spe esses they crumbled. In that knowledge cialists. Whatever it achieves that is we ought to be wiser than our fathers, good must in the main be an achieve and there is hope that we are. Besides ment of human hearts. We may best all the pages of history, we have vividly keep Christmas this year by “rooting" before our eyes the spectacle of a war for that conference, sustaining it, feeling surpassing in destructiveness any that its importance, helping it by mind, by we have record of, and proceeding out of will, by soul, by speech, and written very much such circumstances and rivalword in so far as we can. There is a ries as those that destroyed in turn the great chance for it, and, gracious! what civilizations that preceded ours. We a need! What difficulties confront it- know more clearly and more generally Japan sensitive, aspiring, only a couple than was ever known before what lies of generations from feudalism, instructed ahead for us and all we have, if we canmainly in those methods of the Western not mend the ways of human life. We civilization that were finally scrapped,

see limitless knowledge within our grasp we all hope, by the war. How will the if civilization can hold together long conference think with Japan, feel with enough for us to attain it. We see deJapan, give Japan a fair deal, and yet do struction awaiting the present works of its duty not only by Europe and Amer man if that growing knowledge takes ica, but by Asia? Japan is difficult, but, destructive forms. We know what our after all, Japan is human and the con case is and some of us know there is a ference must be humanized enough to cure for it. In the Washington conferfind her humanity. Everything that ence there is a means to make that cure. conference must do is difficult. France is practically operative. It belongs to us difficult, and Germany, and all middle to feel then that all that we can do to Europe, and the limitation of armament, make that conference successful is done and perhaps there will even be something to save our civilization from what befell to say about Ireland. Its dance is an Egypt, Assyria, the Roman Empire, and egg dance. The more reason why we all the rest.

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Was a young Roman girl of a beauty quite glorious.
She lived in the days of a Cæsar or Pompey,
And was like modern damsels, but not quite so rompy.
Well—here's for her story. 'Twas one Christmas Eve
That Niobe Flavia sat down to grieve.
And in manner quite childish for one of her years,
Miss Niobe Flavia burst into tears.
And this was the trouble. The damsel had heard-
Had, maybe, been told by that famed 'Little Bird,'
That the night before Christmas her custom should be

To hang up her stocking. But then—don't you see?
VOL CXLIV.–No. 859.-17

'Twas a difficult feat, for, as you may suppose,
She wore Roman sandals, without any hose!
Now what could she do? I ask of you, what?
Could she hang up a stocking, when stocking she'd not?
And 'twould be simply silly—that there is no doubt of—
To hang up her sandals for things to spill out of!
And so it's small wonder Miss Niobe's grief
Was incessant and noisy beyond all belief!
Her handmaidens tried hard to comfort and cheer,
But Miss Flavia Ceres did not even hear
Their futile endeavors to lure or distract
Their mistress's mind to some happier fact
Than that of her destitute, stockingless state,
As afresh she bewept and bewailed her sad fate.
Till by chance, in the corridor, humming a song,
The great Court Historian happened along;
He heard the loud wails, and benignantly smiled,
“What's the matter, Niobe? What ails you, my child?”
She told him, amid her hysterical sobs,
While her poor little heart nearly broke with its throbs.
“Cheer up,” he replied; "you're too previous, dear;
Though Christmas is coming, it's many a year
Before it is due. For, take it from me,
Niobe, it's now only ninety B. C.
You must study your history harder, my pet;
Christmas Eves haven't really been started as yet.
You can't hang up your stocking until there is one
I assure you, Niobe, dear child, it's not done!”
"Oh, really?" she cried, and her sad face grew bright,
Her lovely eyes twinkled with smiles of delight.
She slipped on her sandals, ran laughing away,
And danced in a manner quite care-free and gay.

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A Miltonic Battle

"The acoustics." HENRIETTA, aged four years, was for “Well, I'll tell you," said the proprietor,

bidden to go off the lawn. One morning looking a little puzzled. “Thar was a minher mother found her daughter standing in strel comp’ny ’long here 'bout two weeks the gateway with one foot on the sidewalk ago that stole 'bout everything they could and the other foot within the gate.

lay their hands on, so mebbe they're missin’.” "Henrietta," said the surprised parent, “have you forgotten that you are not al

A Difficult Task lowed out in the street?” “Well, Satan kept saying, "Go on the THE village grocery assembly was dis

cussing the sudden death of a neighbor street,' and God said, 'Don't go on the

who had left a rather helpless family. street,' so I put one foot out and kept the

“And the worst of it is,” said old Uncle other foot in; and now they can just fight it

Bill, “that there isn't one of those boys that out between them.”

has the head to fill the old man's shoes."

An Extraordinary Theft

Not Untold ADVANCE agents of musical shows are AT a reception in Washington the lion of

usually careful to ascertain the peculi the evening was a distinguished arctic arities, the merits, and demerits of the thea explorer. A stout lady who had been preters and halls they are to exhibit in, for the sented to him gushed: benefit of the performers when they arrive. “It must have been terrible so far from One of these agents, having hired a hall in a civilization. You must have suffered untold Kentucky town, asked the proprietor of the hardships and privations.” building:

“On the contrary, madam," rejoined the “How are the acoustics of


hall?” explorer, with a smile, “I have been telling “The which?" said the Kentuckian. them all this season to large audiences."

No Booster

Johnny grew more and more bored as each THE 'HE motorist was on unfamiliar ground, new one made its appearance.

and directly before him was a fork in “This is G,” said his mother, rather disthe road with no signpost to tell him which couragedly. way to go.

Johnny was suddenly interested. “Which way to Stumpville?” he asked of “G” he questioned, excitedly. “Is it G, a dejected-looking man who roosted on a mamma?” fence near at hand.

“Yes, it is G.” The native languidly waved his hand to Well, where's whiz?” ward the left.

"Thanks,” said the motorist. “How far is it?"

No Occasion for Speech “'Tain't so very far," was the drawling


ITTLE Louise was lost on the street and reply. “When you get there, you'll wish it

was brought into the police station. The was a durn sight farther."

officers tried in every way to learn her name. Finally one of the officers said:

“What name does your mother call your A True Economist

father?” HE E was an ingenious and ingenuous small "Why," said Louise, very innocently,

boy. “Mother,” he said on one occa “she don't call him any name; she likes sion, “will you wash my face?"

him.” “Why, Hugh, can't you do that?” “Yes, mother, I can, but I'll have to wet

Late Contrition my hands, and they don't need it.”

SARAH, reprimanded twice within an hour

for the same deed of mischief, was An Amended Alphabet

threatened with a whipping if she repeated OHNNY was learning the alphabet. “A,”

it. She decided she would take a sporting said his mother.

chance, but mother was as good as her prom"A," said Johnny.

ise and led the little truant to the nursery. "B," said his mother.

As the slipper was about to descend, B,” repeated Johnny, disinterestedly. Sarah, with a saintly face, looked at her And so the letters came and went while mother and in a very solemn voice said:

God be merciful to me a sinner."



Somnambulism LITTLE Bobby,

aged four, was allowed to attend the christening ceremony of 'his baby brother. Bobby was entranced by the novelty of the occasion, and followed events with absorbed interest. But when the parson closed his eyes to pray Bobby's feelings became too much for him. Grasping his mother's hand, he exclaimed, loudly enough for all to hear, “Mother, why is that man talkin' in his sleep!”

Did Santy Claus give you those?"Santy Claus me eye! We take off’n the Red Cross."

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