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hammer out a novel, are fully fufficient for the duction of a Sentimental Comedy. It is only fufficient to raise the characters a little; to deck out the hero with a ribband, or give the heroine a Title: then to put an infipid dialogue, without character or humour, into their mouths, give them mighty good hearts, very fine cloaths, furnish a new set of fcenes, make a pathetic fcene or two, with a fprinkling of tender melancholy converfation through the whole, and there is no doubt but all the ladies will cry, and all the gentlemen applaud.

Humour at present seems to be departing from the ftage; and it will foon happen that our comic players will have nothing left for it but a fine coat and a fong. It depends upon the audience, whether they will actually drive those poor merry creatures from the stage, or fit at a play as gloomy as at the tabernacle. It is not eafy to recover an art when once loft; and it will be but a juft punishment, that when, by our being too faftidious, we have banished humour from the ftage, we should ourselves be deprived of the art of laughing.

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As I fee you are fond of gallantry, and feem willing to fet young people together as foon as you can, I cannot help lending my affiftance to your endeavours, as I am greatly concerned in the attempt. You must know, Sir, that I am landlady of one of the most noted inns on the road to Scotland, and have feldom lefs than eight or ten couples a-week, who go down rapturous lovers, and return man and wife.

If there be in this world an agreeable fituation, it must be that, in which a young couple find them-. felves, when just let loose from confinement, and whirling off to the Land of Promise. When the poft-chaife is driving off, and the blinds are drawn up, fure nothing can equal it. And yet, I do not know how, what with the fears of being purfued, or the wishes for greater happiness, not one of my cuftomers but feems gloomy and out of temper. The gentlemen are all fullen, and the ladies difcontented.

But if it be fo going down, how is it with them coming back? Having been for a fortnight together, they are then mighty good company to be fure. It is then the young lady's indifcretion ftares her in the face, and the gentleman himself finds that much is to be done before the money comes in.

For my own part, fir, I was married in the ufual way; all my friends were at the wedding; I was conducted with great ceremony from the table to the bed; and I do not find that it any ways diminished my happiness with my husband, while, poor man, he continued with me. For my part I am entirely for doing things in the old family way; I hate your new-fashioned manners, and never loved an outlandish marriage in my life.

As I have had numbers call at my house, you may be fure I was not idle in enquiring who they were, and how they did in the world after they left me. I cannot fay that I ever heard much good come of them; and of an hiftory of twenty-five, that I noted down in my ledger, I do not know a fingle couple, that would not have been full as happy if they had gone the plain way to work, and asked the confent - of their parents. To convince you of it, I will mention the names of a few, and refer the reft to fome fitter opportunity.

Imprimis, Mifs Jenny Haftings went down to Scotland with a tailor, who to be fure for a tai

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lor was a very agreeable fort of a man. But I do not know how, he did not take proper measure of the young lady's difpofition: they quarrelled at my houfe on their return; fo the left him for a cornet of dragoons, and he went back to his fhop-board. Mifs Rachel Runfort went off with a grenadier. They spent all their money going down; fo that he carried her down in a poft-chaife, and coming back the helped to carry his knapfack.

Mifs Racket went down with her lover in their own phaeton; but upon their return, being very fond of driving, fhe would be every now and then for holding the whip. This bred a difpute; and before they were a fortnight together, fhe felt that he could exercise the whip on fomebody elfe befides the horfes.

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Mifs Meekly, though all compliance to the will of her lover, could never reconcile him to the change of his fituation. It feems, he married her fuppofing fhe had a large fortune; but being deceived in their expectations, they parted: and they now keep feparate garrets in Rosemary-lane.

The next couple, of whom I have any account, actually lived together in great harmony and uncloying kindness for no less than a month; but the lady, who was a little in years, having parted with her fortune to her deareft life, he left her to make love to that better part of her which he valued more.

The next pair confifted of an Irish fortune-hunter, and one of the prettiest modefteft ladies that ever my eyes beheld. As he was a well-looking gentleman all drest in lace, and as the feemed very fond of him, I thought they were bleft for life. Yet I was quickly mistaken. The lady was no better than a common woman of the town, and he was no better than a fharper; fo they agreed upon a mutual divorce: he now dreffes at the York Bafl, and the is

in keeping by the member for our Borough in Parliament.

In this manner, we fee that all thofe marriages, in which there is intereft on one fide and disobedience on the other, are not likely to promise a long harveft of delights. If our fortune-hunting gentlemen would but speak out, the young lady, inftead of a lover, would often find a sneaking rogue, that only wanted the lady's purfe, and not her heart. For my own part, I never faw any thing but defign and falfehood in every one of them; and my blood has boiled in my veins, when I faw a young fellow of twenty kneeling at the feet of a twenty thoufand pounder, profeffing his paffion, while he was taking aim at her money. I do not deny but there may be love in a Scotch marriage, but it is generally all on One fide.

Of all the fincére admirers I ever knew, a man of my acquaintance, who however did not run away with his mistress to Scotland, was the moft fo. An old excifeman of our town, who, as you may guess, was not very rich, had a daughter, who, as you fhall fee, was not very handsome. It was the opinion of every body, that this young woman would not foon be married, as fhe wanted two main articles, beauty and fortune. But for all this a very well-looking man, that happened to be travelling thofe parts, came and afked the exciseman for his daughter in marriage. The excifeman, willing to deal openly by him, asked if he had feen the girl; "for," fays he, "fhe is humpbacked." " Very "well," cried the ftranger, " that will do for me. "Aye," fays the excifeman," but my daughter is "as brown as a berry." "So much the better," cried the ftranger; "fuch fkins wear well."" But "The is bandy legg'd," fays the exciseman." "No

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matter," cries the other; "her petticoats will hide

"that

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"that defect." But then he is very poor, and "wants an eye." "Your defcription delights me,' cries the ftranger: "I have been looking out for "one of her make; for I keep an exhibition of wild "beafts, and intend to fhow her off for a Chimpanzee."

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MANKIND have ever been prone to expatiate in the praife of human nature. The dignity of man is a fubject, that has always been the favourite theme of humanity; they have declaimed with that oftentation, which ufually accompanies fuch as are fure of having a partial audience; they have obtained victories, because there were none to oppofe. Yet from all I have ever read or feen, men appear more apt to err by having too high, than by having too defpicable, an opinion of their nature; and by attempting to exalt their original place in the creation, deprefs their real value in fociety.

The moft ignorant nations have always been found to think moft highly of themselves. The Deity has ever been thought peculiarly concerned in their glory and prefervation; to have fought their battles, and infpired their teachers: their wizards are faid to be familiar with heaven; and every hero has a guard of angels as well as men to attend him. When the Portuguese firft came among the wretched inhabitants of the coaft of Africa, thefe favage nations readily allowed the ftrangers more fkill in navigation and war; yet ftill confidered them at beft but as ufeful fervants, brought to their coaft, by their guarVOL. IV.

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