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by slipping out an oath; but that appeared my suspicions. “As to your present to me as the surest symptom of their dis. hint,” continued he, “I protest nothing tinction (though I am since informed was farther from my heart than such a that swearing is perfectly unfashionable). thought. No, by all that's tempting! the Their finery, however, threw a veil over virtue that will stand a regular siege was any grossness in their conversation. My never to my taste; for all my amours are daughters seemed to regard their superior carried by a coup-de-main.' accomplishments with envy; and what The two ladies, who affected to be appeared amiss, was ascribed to tip-top ignorant of the rest, seemed highly disquality breeding. But the condescension pleased with this last stroke of freedom, of the ladies was still superior to their and began a very discreet and serious accomplishments. One of them observed, dialogue upon virtue : in this, my wife, that had Miss Olivia seen a little more of the chaplain, and I, soon joined; and the the world, it would greatly improve her; Squire himself was at last brought to to which the other added, that a single confess a sense of sorrow for his former winter in town would make her little excesses. We talked of the pleasures of Sophia quite another thing. My wife temperance, and of the sunshine in the warmly assented to both ; adding, that mind unpolluted with guilt. I was so there was nothing she more ardently well pleased, that my little ones wished than to give her girls a single kept up beyond the usual time to be winter's polishing. To this I could not edified by so much good conversation. help replying, that their breeding was Mr. Thornhill even went beyond me, and already superior to their fortune; and that demanded if I had any objection to giving greater refinement would only serve to prayers. 1 joyfully embraced the promake their poverty ridiculous, and give posal; and in this manner the night was them a taste for pleasures they had no passed in the most comfortable way, till right to possess.

And what pleasures,” at last the company began to think of cried Mr. Thornhill

, “do they not deserve returning. The ladies seemed very unto possess, who have so much in their willing to part with my daughters, for power to bestow ? As for my part, whom they had conceived a particular continued he, “my fortune is pretty affection, and joined in a request to have large ; love, liberty, and pleasure are my the pleasure of their company home. The maxims; but curse me, if a settlement of Squire seconded the proposals, and niy half my estate could give my charming wise added her entreaties; the girls, too, Olivia pleasure, it should be hers; and looked upon me as if they wished to go. the only favour I would ask in return In this perplexity, I made two or three would be to add myself to the benefit." excuses, which my daughters as readily I was not such a stranger to the world as removed; so that at last I was obliged to to be ignorant that this was the fashion- 'give a peremptory refusal, for which we able cant to disguise the insolence of the had nothing but sullen looks and short basest proposal ; but I made an effort to answers the whole day ensuing. suppress my resentment. “Sir,” cried I, the family which you now condescend

CHAPTER X. to favour with your company has been The Family endeavour to copernith their Betters.. bred with as nice a sense of honour as The Miseries of the Poor, when they attemp! you. Any attempts to injure that may

to appear above their Circumstances. be attended with very dangerous conse- I now began to find that all my long quences. Honour, sir, is our only posses and painful lectures upon temperance, sion at present, and of that last treasure simplicity, and contentment were entirely we must be particularly careful.” I was disregarded. The distinctions lately paid soon sorry for the warmth with which I us by our betters awakened that pride had spoken this, when the young gentle. which I had laid asleep, but not removed.) man, grasping my hand, swore he com- Our windows, again, as formerly, were mended my spirit, though he disapproved filled with washes for the neck and face.

The sun was dreaded as an enemy to the This curiosity of theirs, however, was skin without doors, and the fire as a attended with very serious effects : we spoiler of the complexion within. My now began to think ourselves designed by wise observed that rising too early would the stars to something exalted, and already hurt her daughter's eyes, that working anticipated our future grandeur. after dinner would redden their noses; It has been a thousand times observed, and she convinced me that the hands and I must observe it once more, that the never looked so white as when they did hours we pass with happy prospects in nothing. Instead therefore of finishing view, are more pleasing than those crowned George's shirts, we now had them new. with fruition. In the first case, we cook modelling their old gauzes, or flourishing the dish to our own appetite; in the upon catgut. The poor Miss Flambo- latter, Nature cooks it for us. It is roughs, their former gay companions, impossible to repeat the train of agreeable were cast off as mean acquaintance, and reveries we called up for our entertainment. the whole conversation ran upon high We looked upon our fortunes as once life

, and high-lived company, with pic more rising ; and, as the whole parish tures, taste, Shakespeare, and the musical asserted that the Squire was in love with glasses.

my daughter, she was actually so with Bat we could have borne all this, had him; for they persuaded her into the not a fortune-telling gipsy come to raise passion. In this agreeable interval my wife Es into perfect sublimity. The tawny sibyl had the most lucky dreams in the world, do sooner appeared, than my girls came which she took care to tell us every morning running to me for a shilling a-piece to with great solemnity and exactness. It cross her hand with silver. To say the was one night a coffin and cross-bones, the truth, I was tired of being always wise, and sign of an approaching wedding; at could not help gratifying their request, another time she imagined her daughters' because I loved to see them happy. I pockets filled with farthings, a certain sign gave each of them a shilling; though for of their being shortly stuffed with gold. the honour of the family it must be ob- The girls themselves had their omens. served, that they never went without money They felt strange kisses on their lips; they themselves, as my wife always generously saw rings in the candle; purses bounce let them havea guinea each, to keep in their from the fire, and true love-knots lurked pockets, but with strict injunctions never in the bottom of every teacup. to change it. After they had been closeted Towards the end of the week we reup with the fortune-teller for some time, ceived a card from the two ladies, in which, I knew by their looks, upon their return- with their compliments, they hoped to ing, that they had been promised some- see all our family at church the Sunday thing great. '“Well, my girls, how have following. All Saturday morning I could you sped ? Tell me, Livy, has the fortune. perceive, in consequence of this, my wife teller given thee a pennyworth ?”—“I and daughters in close conference together, protest, papa,” says the girl

, “I believe and now and then glancing at me with she deals with somebody that's not right; looks that betrayed a latent plot. To be for she positively declared, that I am to sincere, I had strong suspicions that some be married to a Squire in less than a absurd proposal was preparing for appeartwelvemonth !”-“Well, now, Sophy, ing with splendour the next day. In the my child," said I, “and what sort of a evening they began their operations in a hushand are you to have ?” –“Sir,” very regular manner, and my wife underreplied she, “I am to have a Lord soon took to conduct the siege. After tea, after my sister has married the Squire." when I seemed in spirits, she began thus: -“How," cried I, “is that all you are -“I fancy, Charles, my dear, we shall to have for your two shillings? 'Only a have a great deal of good company at Lord and a Squire for two shillings? You our church to-morrow. Perhaps we fools, I could have promised you à Prince may, my dear," returned I, “though you and a Nabob for half the money." need be under no uneasiness about that ;


you shall have a sermon whether there be finding them come as I expected, I 1.25 or not."_“That is what I expect, obliged to begin, and went through th: returned she ; “but I think, my dear, we service, not without some uneasiness a ought to appear there as decently as pos- finding them absent. This was increased sible, for who knows what may happen?" | when all was finished, and no appearanc.

-“ Your precautions,” replied I, are of the family. I therefore walked back by highly commendable. A decent behaviour the horse-way, which was five miles roun: and appearance in church is what charms though the footway was but two, and, whe

We should be devout and humble, got about half-way home, perceived the cheerful and serene.”—“Yes,” cried she, procession marching slowly forward to “I know that; but I mean we should go wards the church; my son, my wife, ani there in as proper a manner as possible; the two little ones exalted on one horse. not altogether like the scrubs about us. and my two daughters upon the other. I “You are quite right, my dear,” returned demanded the cause of their delay ; bu: I, "and I was going to make the very I soon found by their looks they had met same proposal. The proper manner of with a thousand misfortunes on the road. going is to go there as early as possible, The horses had at first refused to move to have time for meditation before the from the door, till Mr. Burchell was kind service begins.' “Phoo, Charles,” inter- enough to beat them forward for about rupted she, all that is very true; but two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next, not what I would be at: I mean, we the straps of my wife's pillion broke down, should go there genteelly. You know the and they were obliged to stop to repair church is two miles off

, and I protest I them before they could proceed. After don't like to see my daughters trudging that, one of the horses took it into his up to their pew all blowzed and red with head to stand still, and neither blows nor walking, and looking for all the world as entreaties could prevail with him to proif they had been winners at a smock race. ceed. He was just recovering from this Now, my dear, my proposal is this: there dismal situation when I found them; but are our two plough horses, the colt that perceiving everything sase, I own their has been in our family these nine years, present mortification did not much disand his companion Blackberry, that has please me, as it would give me many op: scarcely done an earthly thing for this portunities of future triumph, and teach month past. They are both grown fat and my daughters more humility. lazy. Why should not they do something as well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a little, they The Family still resolve to hold up their Heads.

CHAPTER XI. will cut a very tolerable figure.”

To this proposal I objected that walking MICHAELMAS-EVE happening on the would be twenty times more genteel than next day, we were invited to burn nuts such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry and play tricks at neighbour Flambo-, was wall-eyed, and the colt wanted a tail; rough’s. Our late mortifications had that they had never been broke to the humbled us a little, or it is probable we rein, but had a hundred vicious tricks; and might have rejected such an invitation with that we had but one saddle and pillion in contempt : however, we suffered ourselves : the whole house. All these objections, to be happy. Our honest neighbour's, however, were overruled; so that I was goose and dumplings were fine, and the obliged to comply. The next morning I lamb's-wool, even in the opinion of my perceived them not a little busy in col wife, who was a connoisseur, was excellent. lecting such materials as might be necessary It is true, his manner of telling stories was for the expedition; but, as I found it would not quite so well. They were very long, be a business of time, I walked on to the and very dull, and all about himself, and church before, and they promised speedily we had laughed at them ten times before : to follow. I waited near an hour in the however, we were kind enough to laugh reading desk for their arrival ; but not at them once more.


Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, the family received no hurt, they were was always fond of seeing some innocent extremely glad ; but being informed that amusement going forward, and set the we were almost killed by the fright, they boys and girls to blind man's buff. My were vastly sorry; but hearing that wile, too, was persuaded to join in the we had a very good night, they were diversion, and it gave me pleasure to think extremely glad again. Nothing could she was not yet too old. In the meantime, exceed their complaisance to my daughny neighbour and I looked or., laughed ters : their professions the last evening at every feat, and praised our own dexterity were warm, but now they were ardent. when we were young. Hot cockles suc- They protested a desire of having a more ceeded next, questions and commands fol- lasting acquaintance. Lady Blarney was lowed that, and, last of all, they sat down particularly attached to Olivia ; Miss Caroto hunt the slipper. As every person may lina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs (I love to not be acquainted with this primeval pas. give the whole name) took a greater fancy time, it may be necessary to observe, that to her sister. They supported the conthe company in this play plant themselves versation between themselves, while my in a ring upon the ground, all except one, daughters sat silent, admiring their exalted Tho stands in the middle, whose business breeding. But as every reader, however it is to catch a shoe, which the company beggarly himself, is fond of high-lived shove about under their hams from one to dialogues, with anecdotes of lords, ladies, another, something like a weaver's shuttle. and knights of the Garter, I must beg

As it is impossible, in this case, for the leave to give him the concluding part of lady who is up to face all the company at the present conversation. once, the great beauty of the play lies in “All that I know of the matter," cried hitting her a thump with the heel of the Miss Skeggs, “is this, that it may be true shoe on that side least capable of making or may not be true ; but this I can assure a defence. It was in this manner that your Ladyship, that the whole rout was my eldest daughter was hemmed in, and in

his Lordship turned all thumped about, all blowzed, in spirits, and manner of colours, my Lady fell into a bawling for "fair play” with a voice that sound, but Sir Tomkyn drawing his sword, might deafen a ballad-singer ; when, con- swore he was hers to the last drop of his fusion on confusion! who should enter blood." the room but our two great acquaint- “Well,” replied our Peeress, “this I ances from town, Lady Blarney and Miss can say, that the Duchess never told me Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs! a syllable of the matter, and I believe her Description would but beggar, therefore Grace would keep nothing a secret from it is unnecessary to describe, this new This you may depend upon as fact, mortification. Death! To be seen by ladies that the next morning my Lord Duke of such high breeding in such vulgar atti- cried out three times to his valet-detudes ! Nothing better could ensue from chambre, Jernigan ! Jernigan ! Jernigan ! such a vulgar play of Mr. Flamborough's bring me my garters. pmposing. We seemed stuck to the But previously I should have mentioned

ground for some time, as if actually the very impolite behaviour of Mr. Burpetrified with amazement.

chell, who, during this discourse, sat with The two ladies had been at our house his face turned to the fire, and, at the conto see us, and finding us from home, came clusion of every sentence, would cry out after us hither, as they were uneasy to “Fudge!" an expression

which displeased know what accident could have kept us us all, and, in some measure, damped the from church the day before. Olivia rising spirit of the conversation. undertook to be our prolocutor, and de- “Besides, my dear Skeggs,” continued livered the whole in a summary way, only our Peeress, there is nothing of this in saying, “ We were thrown from our the copy of verses that Dr. Burdock made borses.' At which account the ladies upon the occasion.”—“ Fudge !”.

greatly concerned ; but being told "I am surprised at that,” cried Miss




Skeggs; for he seldom leaves anything own a truth, I was of opinion, that two out, as he writes only for his own amuse- such places would fit our two daughters ment. But can your Ladyship favour me , exactly. Besides, if the Squire had any with a sight of them ?"_" Fudge !" real affection for my eldest daughter, this

“My dear creature," replied our Peeress, would be the way to make her every way “ do you think I carry such things about qualified for her fortune. My wife, there me? Though they are very fine, to be fore, was resolved that we should not be sure, and I think myself something of a deprived of such advantages for want of judge—at least I know what pleases my, assurance, and undertook to harangue fo: self. Indeed, I was ever an admirer of the family. "I hope," cried she, your all Dr. Burdock's little pieces; for, except ladyships will pardon my present presumpwhat he does, and our dear Countess at tion. It is true, we have no right to preHanover Square, there's nothing comes tend to such favours ; but yet it is natural out but the most lowest stuff in nature; for me to wish putting my children forward not a bit of high life among them.”- in the world. And, I will be bold to say, Fudge !"

mytwo girls have had a pretty good educa“Your Ladyship should except,” says tion and capacity; at least the country the other, “your own things in the Lady's can't show better. They can read, write, Magazine. I hope you'll say there's and cast accompts; they understand nothing low-lived there? But I suppose their needle, broadstitch, cross and change, we are to have no more from that quar- and all manner of plain work; they can ter?”—“Fudge !"

pink, point, and frill, and know something Why, my dear,” says the lady, "you of music; they can do up small clothes, know my reader and companion has left and work upon catgut ; my eldest can cut me, to be married to Captain Roach, and paper, and my youngest has a very pretty as my poor eyes won't suffer me to write manner of telling fortunes upon the cards." myself, I have been for some time looking -“Fudge!" out for another. A proper person is no When she had delivered this pretty piece easy matter to find; and, to be sure, thirty of eloquence, the two ladies looked at each pounds a year is a small stipend for a well other a few minutes in silence, with an air bred girl of character, that can read, write, of doubt and importance. At last Miss and behave in company : as for the chits Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs conabout town, there is no bearing them about descended to observe, that the young ladies, one.”—“Fudge !

from the opinion she could form of them That I know," cried Miss Skeggs, from so slight an acquaintance, seemed " by experience. For of the three com- very fit for such employments. But a panions I had this last half year, one of thing of this kind, madam," cried she, them refused to do plain work an hour in addressing my spouse,“ requires a thothe day; another thought twenty-five rough examination into characters, and a guineas- a year too small a salary; and I more perfect knowledge of each other. was obliged to send away the third, be. Not, madam," continued she, “ that I in cause I suspected an intrigue with the the least suspect the young ladies' virtue, chaplain. Virtue, my dear Lady Blar- prudence, and discretion, but there is a s ney, virtue is worth any price; but where form in these things, madam--there is a is that to be found ?"-" Fudge !"

form." My wife had been, for a long time, all My wife approved her suspicions very attention to this discourse, but was par- much, observing that she was very apt to ticularly struck with the latter part of it. be suspicious herself, but referred her to Thirty pounds and twenty-five guineas a all the neighbours for a character ; but year, made fifty-six pounds five shillings this our Peeress declined as unnecessary, English money, all which was in a manner alleging that our cousin Thornhill's recomgoing a begging, and might easily be mendation would be sufficient; and upon secured in the family. She for a moment this we rested our petition. studied my looks for approbation; and, to

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