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his fatterers, still poorer than himself; “The first opportunity he had of finding vey dinner he gave them they re- his expectations disappointed was in the --- an equivalent in praise, and this very middling figure I made in the univerbe be wanted. The same ambition sity; he had flattered himself that he should
ac uates a monarch at the head of an soon see me rising into the foremost rank vi-tuenced my father at the head of in literary reputation, but was mortified
te: he told the story of the ivy-tree, to find me utterly unnoticed and unknown. lat was laughed at; he repeated the His disappointment might have been
the two scholars and one pair of partly ascribed to his having overrated is, and the company laughed at my talents, and partly to my dislike of ti bat the story of Taly in the sedan. mathematical reasonings, at a time when : vis sure to set the table in a roar: my imagination and memory, yet unsatis
s pleasure increased in proportion to fied, were more eager after new objects
csere he gave ; he loved all the world, than desirous of reasoning upon those I La me fancied all the world loved him. knew. This did not, however, please my "As hs fortune was but small, he lived tutor, who observed, indeed, that I was a ta the very extent of it; he had no little dull; but at the same time allowed,
of leaving his children money, that I seemed to be very good-natured, FE dross; he was resolved they and had no harm in me. sve learning; for learning, he used "After I had resided at college seven C, was better than silver or gold. years, my father died, and left me-his spirpose, he undertook to instruct : blessing. Thus shoved from shore with
xif; and took as much pains to out ill-nature to protect, or cunning to 3 morals as to improve our under-guide, or proper stores to subsist me in 2. We were told, that universal so dangerous a voyage, I was obliged to
lence was what first cemented embark in the wide world at twenty-two. y: we were taught to consider all But, in order to settle in life, my friends cs of mankind as our own; to re advised (for they always advise when they
the human face divine with affection begin to despise us), they advised me,
steem; he wound us up to be mere I say, to go into orders. Thres of pity, and rendered us inca- “To be obliged to wear a long wig, # of withstanding the slightest im- when I liked a short one, or a black coat, en nade either by real or fictitious when I generally dressed in brown, I **s in a word, we were perfectly in- thought was such a restraint upon my
z in the art of giving away thou- liberty, that I absolutely rejected the probefore we were taught the more neces- posal. A priest in England is not the same alifications of getting a farthing. mortified creature with a bonze in China: i cannot avoid imagining, that thus with us, not he that fasts best, but eats end by his lessons out of all my sus best, is reckoned the best liver; yet I
3, and divested of even all the little rejected a life of luxury, indolence, and
3 which nature had given me, I ease, from no other consideration but a led, upon my first entrance into that' boyish one of dress.
trasy and insidious world, one of those friends were now perfectly satisfied I was Ciators who were exposed without undone ; and yet they thought it a pity pour in the amphitheatre at Rome. My for one who had not the least harm in him
e, however, who had only seen the and was so very good-natured. ricon one side, seemed to triumph in my “ Poverty naturally begets dependence, crior discernment; though my whole and I was admitted as flatterer to a great cx of wisdom consisted in being able man. At first, I was surprised that the tik like himself upon subjects that once situation of a flatterer at a great man's se useful, because they were then topics table could be thought disagreeable: there the busy world, but that now were was no great trouble in listening attentively derly useless, because connected with when his lordship spoke, and laughing e busy world no longer.
when he looked round for applause. This
So that my
even good manners might have obliged me friends, and to them I was resolv to perform. I found, however, too soon, apply. O friendship! thou fond s that his lordship was a greater dunce than of the human breast, to thee we myself; and from that very moment my every calamity; to thee the wretched power of flattery was at an end. I now for succour ; on thee the care-tired rather aimed at setting him right, than at misery fondly relies: from thy kind receiving his absurdities with submission : ance the unfortunate always hopes to flatter those we do not know is an easy and may be ever sure of—disappoint task; but to fatter our intimate acquaint. My first application was to a city scris ances, ail whose foibles are strongly in our who had frequently offered to len eye, is drudgery insupportable. Every money, when he knew I did not w: time I now opened my lips in praise, my I informed him, that now was the ti falsehood went to my conscience; his lord put his friendship to the test; t ship soon perceived me to be unfit for wanted to borrow a couple of hur service ; I was therefore discharged ; my for a certain occasion, and was res patron at the same time being graciously to take it up from him. “And pray pleased to observe, that he believed I was cried my friend, ‘do you want ali tolerably good-natured, and had not the money ? — Indeed, I never least harm in me.
more,' returned I.-'I am sorry for " Disappointed in ambition, I had re. cries the scrivener, 'with all my he course to love. A young lady, who lived for they who want money when they with her aunt, and was possessed of a to borrow, will always want money ! pretty fortune in her own disposal, had they should come to pay.! given me, as I fancied, some reason to From him I few, with indignatio expect success. The symptoms by which one of the best friends I had in the w I was guided were striking. She had and made the same request. Ind always laughed with me at her awkward Mr. Drybone,' cries my friend, I al acquaintance, and at her aunt among the thought it would come to this. You kn number; she always observed, that a man sir, I would not advise you but for of sense would make a better husband own good; but your conduct has hith than a fool, and I as constantly applied been ridiculous in the highest deg the observation in my own favour. She and some of your acquaintance aix continually talked, in my company, of thought you a very silly fellow. Let friendship and the beauties of the mind, see--you want two hundred pounds and spoke of Mr. Shrimp my rival's high- you only want two hundred, sir, exact heeled shoes with detestation. These were -To confess a truth,' returned I, I. circumstances which I thought strongly want three hundred; but then, I b in my favour ; so, after resolving and another friend, from whom I can bor? resolving, I had courage enough to tell her the rest.'— Why, then,' replied my frie my mind. Miss heard my proposal with if you would take my advice, (and serenity, sceming at the same time to study know I should not presume to advise the figures of her san. Out at last it came. but for your own good,) I would reou There was but one small objection to mend it to you to borrow the whole complete our happiness, which was no from that other friend ; and then one o more than that she was married three will serve for all, you know.' months before to Mr. Shrimp, with high- “Poverty now began to come fast u? heeled shoes! By way of consolation, me; yet instead of growing more provide however, she observed, that, though I was or cautious as I grew poor, I becamceve disappointed in her, my addresses to her day more indolent and simple. A lize aunt would probably kindle her into sen- was arrested for fifty pounds; I was una sibility ; as the old lady always allowed to extricate him, except by becoming! me to be very good-natured, and not to bail. When at liberty, he fled from 1 have the least share of harm in me. creditors, and left me to take his plac
“Yet still I had friends, numerous In prison I expected greater satisfaction
n I enjoyed at large. I hoped to I ever performed, and for which I shall verse with men in this new world, praise myself as long as I live, was the ple and believing, like myself ; but refusing half-a-crown to an old acquaintend them as cunning and as cautious ance, at the time when he wanted it, and thee in the world I had left behind. I had it to spare : for this alone I deserve es spanged up my money while it to be decreed an ovation. tal borrowed my coals and never “I now therefore pursued a course of d furthem, and cheated me when I uninterrupted frugality, seldom wanted a 3 yeż at cribbage. All this was done dinner, and was consequently invited to use they believed me to be very good twenty. I soon began to get the characmed and knew that I had no harm ter of a saving hunks that had money, and
insensibly grew into esteem. Neighbours Lpon my first entrance into this man have asked my advice in the disposal of matich is to some the abode of despair, their daughters; and I have always taken
: 30 sensations different from those care not to give any. I have contracted azienced abroad. I was now on one a friendship with an alderman, only by 23 door, and those who were uncon- observing, that if we take a farthing from La se on the other: this was all the a thousand pounds, it will be a thousand
rices between us. At first, indeed, I pounds no longer. I have been invited * sont uneasiness, in considering how I to a pawnbroker's table, by pretending to biocli be able to provide this week for the hate gravy; and am now actually upon 2013 of the week ensuing; but after some treaty of marriage with a rich widow, for 22. i I found myself sure of eating one only having observed that the bread was
I never troubled my head how I was rising. If ever I am asked a question, de supplied another. I seized every whether I know it or not, instead of Terinas meal with the utmost good- answering, I only smile and look wise. 2001; indulged no rants of spleen at If a charity is proposed, I go about with szpitaation ; never called down Heaven the hat, but put nothing in myself. If zal the stars to behold me dining upon a wretch solicits my pity, I observe that kipenay-worth of radishes; my very the world is filled with impostors, and take manions were taught to believe that a certain method of not being deceived
ed salad better than mutton. I by never relieving. In short, I now find *sed myself with thinking, that all the truest way of finding esteem, even from * I should either eat white bread the indigent, is to give away nothing, and
; considered that all that hap- thus have much in our power to give." etwas best; laughed when I was not Tit, took the world as it went, and
LETTER XXVIII. Tacitus often for want of more books
To the same. company. How long I might have continued in LATELY, in company with my friend in
apid state of simplicity I cannot tell, black, whose conversation is now both my ul not been roused by seeing an old amusement and instruction, I could not ezintance, whom I knew to be a pru- avoid observing the great numbers of old But blockhead, preferred to a place in the bachelors and maiden ladies with which * nent. I now found that I had this city seems to be overrun. Sure, ed a wrong track, and that the true marriage,” said I, “is not sufficiently enof being able to relieve others was couraged, or we should never behold such
to aim at independence myself: my crowds of battered beaux and decayed ediate care, therefore, was to leave coquettes, still attempting to drive a trade present habitation and make an entire they have been so long unht for, and Brmation in my conduct and behaviour. swarming upon the gaiety of the age. I for a free, open, undesigning deportment, behold an old bachelor in the most conNi on that of closeness, prudence, and temptible light, as an animal that lives horny. One of the most heroic actions upon the common stock without contri.
buting his share: he is a beast of prey, and the knight in gold lace, who died » the laws should make use of as many single frown, and never rose again stratagems, and as much force, to drive he was married to his maid ; of thes the reluctant savage into the toils, as the who, being cruelly denied, in a rage 11 Indians when they hunt the hyæna or the the window, and listing up the sash, t rhinoceros. The mob should be permitted himself, in an agony-into his armafter him, boys might play tricks on him of the parson, who, crossed in love, with impunity, every well-bred company lutely swallowed opium, which bani should laugh at him; and if, when turned the stings of despised love by-ma of sixty, he offered to make love, his mis. him sleep. In short, she talks over tress might spit in his face, or, what would former losses with pleasure, and, be perhaps a greater punishment, should some tradesmen, finds consolation in fairly grant the favour.
many bankruptcies she has suffered. "As for old maids," continued I, “they “For this reason, whenever I see a su should not be treated with so much severity, annuated beauty still unmarried, I ta because I suppose none would be so if accuse her either of pride, avarice, coqu they could. No lady in her senses would or affectation. There's Miss Jenny choose to make a subordinate figure at derbox, I once remember her to have christenings or lyings-in, when she might some beauty and a moderate fort be the principal herself; nor curry favour Her elder sister happened to marry a with a sister-in-law, when she might com- of quality, and this seemed as a státu mand a husband; nor toil in preparing virginity against poor Jane. Because : custards, when she might lie a-bed, and was one lucky hit in the family, she give directions how they ought to be made; resolved not to disgrace it by introdu nor stifle all her sensations in demure for a tradesman. By thus rejecting her eqi mality, when she might, with matrimonial and neglected or despised by her super freedom, shake her acquaintance by the she now acts in the capacity of tuto hand, and wink at a double entendre. No to her sister's children, and under: lady could be so very silly as to live single, the drudgery of three servants, witi if she could help it. I consider an un- receiving the wages of one. married lady, declining into the vale of “Miss Squeeze was a pawnbrose years, as one of those charming countries daughter; her father had early taugh: bordering on China, that lies waste for that money was a very good thing, want of proper inhabitants. We are not left her a moderate fortune at his de to accuse the country, but the ignorance She was so perfectly sensible of the v: of its neighbours, who are insensible of its of what she had got, that she was reso beauties, though at liberty to enter and never to part with a farthing without cultivate the soil."
equality on the part of her suitor: "Indeed, sir," replied my companion, thus refused several offers made her "you are very little acquainted with the people who wanted to better themsel English ladies, to think they are old maids as the saying is, and grew old ani against their will. I dare venture to affirm, natured, without ever considering that that you can hardly select one of them all, should have made an abatement in but has had frequent offers of marriage, pretensions, from her face being pale, which either pride or avarice has not made marked with the small-pox. her reject. Instead of thinking it a dis- "Lady Betty Tempest, on the contra grace, they take every occasion to boast had beauty, with fortune and family. I of their former cruelty: a soldier does not fond of conquest, she passed from triur exult more when he counts over the to triumph: she had read plays and wounds he has received, than a female mances, and there had learned, ihat a veteran when she relates the wounds she man of common sense was no better the has formerly given : exhaustless when she fool; such she refused, and sighed on begins a narrative of the former death the gay, giddy, inconstant, and though.. dealing power of her eyes. She tells of | After she had thus rejected hundreds
ked her, and sighed for hundreds who books every day, not one of which but espised ber, she found herself insensibly contains all the good things that ever were eserted: at present she is company only said or written. or her aunts and cousins, and sometimes And yet I know not how it happens, nako one in a country-dance, with only but the English are not, in reality, so ne of the chairs for a partner, casts off learned as would seem from this calcula. ocad a joint-stool, and sets to a corner tion. We meet but few who know all pboard. In a word, she is treated with arts and sciences to perfection; whether it cird contempt from every quarter, and is that the generality are incapable of such placed, like a piece of old-fashioned extensive knowledge, or that the authors lice, merely to fill up a corner. of those books are not adequate instruc* But Sophronia, the sagacious Sophro- tors. In China the emperor himself takes bow shall I mention her? She was cognizance of all the doctors in the kingit to love Greek and hate the men dom who profess authorship. In England fte her very infancy; she has rejected every man may be an author that can faze greatlemen because they were not pe- write; for they have by law a liberty, not drs, and pedants because they were not only of saying what they please, but of fre gandemen; her exquisite sensibility being also as dull as they please. has taaght her to discover every fault in Yesterday I testified my surprise to the trery inter, and her inflexible justice has Man in Black, where writers could be pretoi her pardoning them : thus she found in sufficient number to throw off
eated several offers, till the wrinkles of the books I daily saw crowding from De had overtaken her; and now, without the press. I at first imagined that their
gond feature in her face, she talks learned seminaries might take this method tesantly of the beauties of the mind."- of instructing the world. But, to obviate
this objection, my companion assured me, LETTER XXIX.
that the doctors of colleges never wrote,
and that some of them had actually forgot To the same.
their reading ; “ but if you desire,”. conLLE He to estimate the learning of the tinued he, “to see a collection of authors, rash by the number of books that are I fancy I can introduce you this evening e day published among them, perhaps to a club, which assembles every Saturday country, not even China itself, could at seven, at the sign of the Broom, near
them in this particular. I have Islington, to talk over the business of the Pivsed not less than twenty-three new last and the entertainment of the week pocs published in one day, which, upon ensuing." I accepted his invitation : we sputation, makes eight thousand three walked together, and entered the house sired and ninety-five in one year.
some time before the usual hour for the * of these are not confined to one company assembling.
science, but embrace the whole My friend took this opportunity of
History, politics, poetry, mathe- letting me into the characters of the prin. tas, metaphysics, and the philosophy cipal members of the club, not even the mature, are all comprised in a manual host excepted, who, it seems, was once an larger than that in which our children author himself, but preferred by a booktaught the letters. If, then, we sup- seller to this situation as a reward for his ose the learned of England to read but former services. eighth part of the works which daily “The first person,” said he, "of our one from the press, (and sure none can society is Doctor Nonentity, a metaphyFlead to learning upon less easy terms,) sician. Most people think him a profound f this rate every scholar will read a scholar; but, as he seldom speaks, I canbusand books in one year. From such not be positive in that particular: he falculation you may conjecture what an generally spreads himself before the fire, kazing fund of literature a man must be sucks his pipe, talks little, drinks much, Ssessed of, who thus reads three new
and is reckoned very good company. I'm