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if I can help it.—Well, gentlemen, there must be some trick in this ; my serjeant offers to take his oath that you are fairly listed. Tho. Why, captain, we know that, you soldiers have more liberty of conscience than other folks; but for me or neighbour Costar here to take such an oath, 'twould be downright perjuration. Plume. Lookye, rascal, you villain : if I find that you have imposed upon these two honest fellows, I'll trample you to death, you dog—Come, how was’t 2 Tho. Nay, then we'll speak. Your serjeant, as you say, is a rogue, an’t like your worship, begging your worship's pardon—and— Cost. Nay, Tummas, let me speak, you know I can read. And so, sir, he gave us those two pieces of money for pictures of the king, by way of a present. Plume. How 2 by way of a present the son of a whore I’ll teach him to abuse honest fellows like you !—Scoundrel ! rogue ! villain [Beats off the Serjeant, and follows. Both. O brave noble captain huzza! A brave captain, 'faith ! Cost. Now, Tummas, Carolus is Latin for a beating. This is the bravest captain leversaw—Wounds! I’ve a month's mind to go with him.
Plume. A dog, to abuse two such honest fellows as you !—Lookye, gentlemen, I love a pretty fellow; I come among you as an officer to list soldiers, not as a kidnapper to steal slaves. Cost. Mind that, Tummas. - ~ Plume. I desire no man to go with me but as I went myself; I went a volunteer, as you or you may do; for a little time carried a musket, and now I command a company. Tho. Mind that, Costar. A sweet gentleman
Plumc. *Tis true, gentlemen, I might take an advantage of you; the king’s money was in your pockets—my serjeant was ready to take his oath you were listed; but I scorn to do a base thing; you are both of you at your liberty. Cost. Thank you, noble captain—Icod! I can't find in my heart to leave him, he talks so finely. Tho. Ay, Costar, would he always hold in this mind. Plume. Come, my lads, one thing more I’ll tell you: you're both young, tight fellows, and the army is the place to make you men for ever : every man has his lot, and you have yours: what think you of a purse of French gold out of a monsieur's pocket, after you have dashed out his brains with the butt end of four firelock, eh? Cost. Wauns ! I’ll have it. Captain—give me a shilling; I'll follow you to the end of the world. Tho. Nay, dear Costar ! do'na: be advised. Plume. Here, my hero, here are two guineas for thee, as earnest of what I’ll do farther for thee. Tho. Do'na take it; do'na, dear Costar. [Cries, and pulls back his Arm. Cost. I wull—I wull–Waunds ! my mind gives me that I shall be a captain myself—I take your money, sir, and now I am a gentleman. Plume. Give me thy hand; and now you and I will travel the world o'er, and command it wherever we tread.—Bring your friend with you, if you can. [Aside. Cost. Well, Tummas, must we part Tho. No, Costar, I cannot leave thee.—Come, captain, I'll e'en go along too; and if you have two honester, simpler lads in your company than we two have been, I’ll say no more. w Plume. Here, my lad. [Gives him Money..] Now, your name : Tho. Tummas Appletree.
Plume. And yours?
[Sings.] Over the hills and far away.
Kite, take care of them.
Kite. An’t you a couple of pretty fellows, now 1, Here, you have complained to the captain; I am to be turned out, and one of you will be serjeant. Which of you is to have my halberd?
Both Rec. I. - Kite. So you shall—in your guts-March, you zons of whores! [Beats them off.
ACT THE THIRD,
The Market Place.
Enter PLUME and Worthy.
Wor. I cannot forbear admiring the equality of our fortune : we love two ladies, they meet us half way,
and just as we were upon the point of leaping into their arms, fortune drops in their laps, pride possesses their hearts, a maggot fills their heads, madness takes them by the tails; they snort, kick up their heels, and away they run. Plume. And leave us here to mourn upon the shore —a couple of poor melancholy monsters. What shall we do? Wor. I have a trick for mine; the letter, you know, and the fortune-teller. Plume. And I have a trick for mine, Wor. What is't Plume. I’ll never think of her again. IVor. No 1 Plume. No; I think myself above administering to the pride of any woman, were she worth twelve thousand a-year; and I ha’n’t the vanity to believe I shall gain a lady worth twelve hundred. The generous, good-natured Sylvia, in her smock, I admire; but the haughty and scornful Sylvia, with her fortune, I despise.—What I sneak out of town, and not so much as a word, a line, a compliment —'Sdeath ! how far off does she live I’ll go and break her windows. Wor. Ha! has has ay, and the window-bars too, to come at her. Come, come, friend, no more of your rough military airs.
Kite. Captain captain Sir, look yonder; she's a-coming this way. 'Tis the prettiest, cleanest, little tit
Plume. Now, Worthy, to shew you how much I’m
in love—here she comes. But, Kite, what is that great country fellow with her Kite, I can’t tell, sir,
Enter Rose, followed by her Brother Bullock, with
Rose. Buy chickens, young and tender chickens, young and tender chickens. Plume. Here, you chickens, Rose. Who calls 2 Plume. Come hither, pretty maid. Rose. Will you please to buy, sir? r Wor, Yes, child, we'll both buy. Plume. Nay, Worthy, that's not fair; market for yourself—Come, child, I’ll buy all you have. Rose. Then all I have is at your service. [Courtesies. Wor. Then must I shift for myself, I find. [Erit. . Plume. Let me see; young and tender, you say? - [Chucks her under the Chin. Rose. As ever you tasted in your life, sir. Plume. Come, I must examine your basket to the bottom, my dear! Rose. Nay, for that matter, put in your hand; feel, sir; I warrant my ware is as good as any in the market. Plume. And I’ll buy it all, child, were it ten times more. - Rose. Sir, I can furnish you. Plume. Come, then, we won’t quarrel about the price; they’re fine birds.-Pray, what’s your name, pretty creature ? Rose. Rose, sir. My father is a farmer within three short miles o' the town: we keep this market; I sell chickens, eggs, and butter, and my brother Bullock there sells corn. Bul. Come, sister, haste—we shall be late home. [Whistles about the Stage. Plume. Kite! [Tips him the wink, he returns it.] Pretty Mrs Rose—you have—let me see—how many ? - re