A&t I. abouts, he was a bold, sprightly boy, as you should see in a thousand; could drink his pint of port, or his bottle of claret-now he mixes all his wine with water.

121

Jen. Oh! if that be his only fault, Colonel, he will ne'er make the worse husband, I'll answer for it.

-he

Col. You know my wife is a woman of quality— I was prevailed upon to send him to be brought up by her brother Lord Jessamy, who had no children of his own, and promised to leave him an estatehas got the estate indeed, but, the fellow has taken his Lordship's name for it. Now, master Jenkins, I would be glad to know, how the name of Jessamy is better than that of Oldboy. 131

Jen. Well but Colonel, it is allowed on all hands that his Lordship has given your son an excellent education.

Col. Psha! he sent him to the university, and to travel forsooth; but what of that; I was abroad, and at the university myself, and never a rush the better for either. I quarrel'd with his Lordship about six years before his death, and so had not an opportunity of seeing how the youth went on; if I had, master Jenkins, I would no more have suffered him to be made such a monkey of— -He has been in my house but three days, and it is all turned topsey-turvey by him and his rascally servants-- -then his chamber is like a perfumer's shop, with wash-balls, pastes, and pomatum and do you know, he had the impudence

to tell me yesterday at my own table, that I did not know how to behave myself?

148

Jen. Pray, Colonel, how does my Lady Mary? Col. What, my wife? In the old way, master Jenkins; always complaining; ever something the matter with her head, or her back, or her legs-but we have had the devil to pay lately-she and I did not speak to one another for three weeks.

Jen. How so, Sir?

Col. A little affair of jealousy-you must know, my game-keeper's daughter has had a child, and the plaguy baggage takes it into her head to lay it to me -Upon my soul it is a fine fat chubby infant as ever I set my eyes on; I have sent it to nurse; and between you and me, I believe I shall leave it a fortune.

Jen. Ah, Colonel, you will never give over.

Col. You know my Lady has a pretty vein of poetry; she writ me an heroic epistle upon it, where she calls me her dear false Damon; so I let her cry a little, promised to do so no more, and now we are as good friends as ever.

Jen. Well, Colonel, I must take my leave; I have delivered my message, and Sir John may expect the pleasure of your company to dinner.

170

Col. Ay, ay, we'll come-pox o' ceremony among friends. But won't you stay to see my son? I have sent to him, and suppose he will be here as soon as his valet-de-chambre will give him leave.

Jen. There is no occasion, good Sir: present my humble respects, that's all.

Col. Well, but, zounds, Jenkins, you must not go till you drink something-let you and I have a bottle of hock

Jen. Not for the world, Colonel; I never touch any thing strong in the morning. 181

Col. Never touch any thing strong! Why one bottle won't hurt you, man, this is old, and as mild as milk.

Jen. Well, but, Colonel, pray excuse me.

SCENE III.

Mr. JESSAMY, Lady MARY OLDBOY, and then Colonel OLDBOY.

Lady M. Shut the door, why don't you shut the door there? Have you a mind I should catch my death? This house is absolutely the cave of Æolus; one had as good live on the eddy-stone, or in a wind-mill. 201

Mr. Jes. I thought they told your Ladyship, that there was a messenger here from Sir John Flowerdale.

Col. Well, sir, and so there was; but he had not patience to wait upon your curling-irons. Mr. Jenkins was here, Sir John Flowerdale's steward, who has lived in the family these forty years.

Mr. Jes. And pray, Sir, might not Sir John Flowerdale have come himself: if he had been acquainted with the rules of good breeding, he would have known that I ought to have been visited.

Lady M. Upon my word, Colonel, this is a solecism. Col. 'Sblood, my Lady, it's none. Sir John Flowerdale came but last night from his sister's seat in the West, and is a little out of order. But I suppose he thinks he ought to appear before him with his daughter in one hand, and his rent-roll in the other, and cry, Sir, pray do me the favour to accept them.

218

Lady M. Nay, but, Mr. Oldboy, permit me to say-Col. He need not give himself so many affected airs; I think it's very well if he gets such a girl for going

for;

she's one of the handsomest and richest in this

country, and more than he deserves.

Mr. Jes. That's an exceeding fine china jar your ladyship has got in the next room; I saw the fellow of it the other day at Williams's, and will send to my agent to purchase it: it is the true matchless old blue and white. Lady Betty Barebones has a couple that she gave an hundred guineas for, on board an Indiaman; but she reckons them at a hundred and twenty-five, on account of half a dozen plates, four Nankeen beakers, and a couple of shaking Mandarins, that the custom-house officers took from under her petticoats.

234

Col. Did you ever hear the like of this! He's chattering about old china, while I am talking to him of a fine girl. I tell you what, Mr. Jessamy, since that's the name you choose to be called by, I have a good mind to knock you down.

Mr. Jes. Knock me down! Colonel? What do you mean? I must tell you, Sir, this is a language to which I have not been accustomed; and, if you think proper to continue to repeat it, I shall be under a ne. cessity of quitting your house?

Col. Quitting my house ?

Mr. Jes. Yes, Sir, incontinently.

Col. Why, Sir, am not I your father, Sir, and have I not a right to talk to you as I like? I will, sirrah. But, perhaps, I mayn't be your father, and I hope

not.

250