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Darn. Come, you shall not be serious: you cann’t be more agreeable. Charl. Oh I but I am serious. Darn. Then I'll be so. Do you forgive me all Charl. What? Darn. Are we friends, Charlotte : Charl. O lord 1 but you have told me nothing of poor Seyward Darn. Must you needs know that before you anSwer me Charl. Lord you are never well till you have talked one out of countenance. Darn. Come, I won't be too particular; you shall answer nothing.—Give me but your hand only. Charl. Pshal I won't pull off my glove, not I. Darn. I’ll take it as it is then. Charl. Lord I there, there ; eat it, eat it. Darn. And so I could, by Heaven I Charl. Oh, my glove 1 my glove I my glovel you are in a perfect storm | Lord l if you make such a rout with one's hand only, what would you do if you had one's heart 2 Darn. That’s impossible to tell.—But you were asking me of Seyward, madam : Charl. Oh, ay! that’s true. Well, now you are very good again. Come, tell me all the affair, and then you shall see—how I will like you. Darn. Oh! that I could thus play with inclination I Charl. Psha but you don't tell me now. Darn. There is not much to tell—only this: We met the Attorney General, to whom he has given a very sensible account of himself, and the doćtor's proceedings.—“But, still more fortunate 1 there “happened to be a gentleman present, who came “from the same part of the country with Seyward, “ and is well acquainted with his family; and even “remembers the circumstance of his mother's death; “who promises to be speedy and diligent in his en“quiries.—We have been to the Commons to search “ for her will, but none has been entered.—But as it “can be proved she died possessed of eight or ten “ thousand pounds,” the Attorney General seems very clear in his opinion, that as the doćtor, at the time of the death of Seyward's mother, was intrusted with her whole affairs, the Court of Equity will oblige him to be accountable. Charl. If Seward does not recover his fortune, you must absolutely get him a commission, and bring him into acquaintance. Darn. Upon my word I will. Charl. And shew him to all the women of taste; and I’ll have you call him my pretty fellow too. Darn. I will, indeed!—but hear me— Charl. You cann’t conceive how prettily he makes love. Darn. Not so well as you make your defence, Charlotte. Charl. Lord! I had forgot, he is to teach me Greek, too. Darn. Trifling tyrant how long, Charlotte, do
you think you can find new evasions for what I say unto you ?,
Charl. Lord l you are horrid silly ; but since ’tis love that makes you such a dunce—poor Darnley I forgive you.
Darn. That's kind, however.—But, to complete
my joy, be kinder yet—and— Charl. Oh! I cann’t l I cann’t l—Lord 1 did you never ride a horse-match Darn. Was ever so wild a question 1 Charl. Because, if you have, it runs in my head you gallopped a mile beyond the winning-post, to make sure on’t. Darn. Now, I understand you. But since you will have me touch every thing so very tenderly, Charlotte, how shall I find proper words to ask you the lover's last necessary question. Charl. Oh! there’s a thousand points to be adjusted before that’s answered.
Enter Colonel LAMBERT.
Col. Lamb. Name them this moment; for, positively, this is the last time of asking. Charl. Pshal who sent for you ? Col. Lamb. I only came to teach you to speak plain English, my dear. Charl. Lord! mind your own business, cann’t you ? Col. Lamb. So I will; for I will make you do more of yours in two minutes, than you would have done without me in a twelvemonth. Why, how now !—da you think the man's to dangle after your ridiculous airs for ever ? Charl. This is mighty pretty Col. Lamb. You’ll say so on Thursday se’nnight, (for, let affairs take what turn they will in the family) that’s positively your wedding day—Nay, you shan’t stir. Charl. Was ever such assurance Darn. Upon my life, madam, I'm out of countenance 1 I don't know how to behave myself. Charl. No, no; let him go on only—this is beyond whatever was known, sure I Col. Lamb. Ha 1 ha 1 if I was to leave you to yourselves, what a couple of pretty out-of-countenanced figures you would make 1 humming and hawing upon the vulgar points of jointure and pin-money.— Come, come, I know what’s proper on both sides; you shall leave it to me. Darn. I had rather Charlotte would name her own terms to me. Col. Lamb. Have you a mind to any thing particular, madam Charl. Why, surel what do you think I'm only to be filled out as you please, and sweetened and sipped up like a dish of tea : Col. Lamb. Why, pray, madam, when your tea's ready, what have you to do but to drink it But you, I suppose, expect a lover's heart, like your lamp, should be always flaming at your elbow; and
when it's ready to go out, you indolently supply it with the spirit of contradićtion. Charl. And so you suppose that your assurance has made an end of this matter Col. Lamb. Not till you have given him your hand upon it. Charl. That then would complete it. Col. Lamb. Perfectly. Charl. Why, then take it Darnley.—Now, I presume, you are in high triumph, sir. Col. Lamb. No, sister; now you are consistent with that good sense I always thought you mistress of. Charl. And now I beg we may separate; for our being seen together, at this critical juncture, may give that devil, the doctor, suspicion of a confederacy, and make him set some engine at work that we are not aware of. Col. Lamb. It's a very proper caution. Come along, Darnley ; nay, you must leave her now, whatever violence you do yourself. Charl. Ay, ay, take him with you, brother—or stay, Darnley; if you please, you may come along with me. - [Exeunt.