It is hard to fay where this might have ended, had not the husband, who probably knew the impetuofity of his wife's difpofition, propofed to end the difpute by adjourning to a box, and try if there was any thing to be had for fupper that was supportable. To this we all confented, but here a new diftrefs arofe; Mr. and Mrs. Tibbs would fit in none but a genteel box, a box where they might fee and be feen, one, as they expreffed it, in the very focus of public view; but such a box was not easy to be obtained, for though we were perfectly convinced of our own gentility, and the gentility of our appearance, yet we found it a difficult matter to perfuade the keepers of the boxes to be of our opinion; they chose to referve genteel boxes for what they judged more genteel company.

At last however we were fixed, though fomewhat obfcurely, and fupplied with the ufual entertainment of the place. The widow found the fupper excellent, but Mrs. Tibbs thought every thing detestable: come, come, my dear, cries the husband, by way of confolation, to be fure we can't find fuch dreffing here as we have at lord Crump's or lady Crimp's; but for Vauxhall dreffing it is pretty good; it is not their victuals indeed I find fault with, but their wine; their wine, cries he, drinking off a glafs, indeed, is moft abominable.

By this laft contradiction, the widow was fairly conquered in point of politenefs. She perceived now that the had no pretenfions in the world to tafte, her very fenfes were vulgar, fince fhe had praised deteftable cuftard, and fmacked at wretched wine; fhe was therefore content to yield the victory, and for the reft of the night to liften and improve. It is true, fhe would now and then forget herself, and confefs the was pleased, but they foon brought her back again to miferable refinement. She once

4

praised

praised the painting of the box in which we were fitting, but was foon convinced that fuch paltry pieces ought rather to excite horror than fatisfaction; the ventured again to commend one of the fingers, but Mrs. Tibbs foọn let her know, in the ftyle of a connoiffeur, that the finger in queftion had neither ear, voice, nor judgment.

Mr. Tibbs, now willing to prove that his wife's pretenfions to mufic were juft, entreated her to favour the company with a song; but to this she gave a pofitive denial, for you know very well, my dear, fays fhe, that I am not in voice to-day, and when one's voice is not equal to one's judgment, what fignifies finging; befides as there is no accompanyment, it would be but spoiling mufic. All these excufes however were over-ruled by the reft of the company, who, though one would think they already had mufic enough, joined in the intreaty. But particularly the widow, now willing to convince the company of her breeding, preffed fo warmly that the feemed determined to take no refufal. At laft then the lady complied, and after humming for fome minutes, began with fuch a voice and fuch affectation, as I could perceive gave but little fatiffaction to any except her husband. He fat with rapture in his eye, and beat time with his hand on the table.

You must obferve, my friend, that it is the cuftom of this country, when a lady or gentleman happens to fing, for the company to fit as mute and motionlefs as ftatues. Every feature, every limb muft feem to correfpond in fixed attention, and while the fong continues, they are to remain in a ftate of univerfal petrefaction. In this mortifying fituation we had continued for fome time, liftening to the fong, and looking with tranquillity, when the mafter of the box came to inform us, that the

water

water-works were going to begin. At this information I could inftantly perceive the widow bounce from her feat; but correcting herself, she sat down again, repreffed by motives of good-breeding. Mrs. Tibbs, who had feen the water-works an hundred times, refolving not to be interrupted, continued her fong without any fhare of mercy, nor had the fmalleft pity on our impatience. The widow's face, I own, gave me high entertainment; in it I could plainly read the struggle fhe felt between good-breeding and curiofity; fhe talked of the water-works the whole evening before, and feemed to have come merely in order to fee them; but then the could not bounce out in the very middle of a fong, for that would be forfeiting all pretenfions to high life, or high-lived company ever after. Mrs. Tibbs therefore kept on finging, and we continued to listen, till at last, when the fong was juft concluded, the waiter came to inform us that the water-works were over.

The water-works over, cried the widow! the water-works over already, that's impoffible, they can't be over fo foon! It is not my business, replied the fellow, to contradict your ladyship, I'll run again and fee; he went, and foon returned with a confirmation of the dismal tidings. No ceremony could now bind my friend's disappointed mistress, fhe teftified her difpleafure in the openeft manner; in fhort, the now began to find fault in turn, and at laft, infifted upon going home, just at the time that Mr. and Mrs. Tibbs affured the company, that the polite hours were going to begin, and that the ladies would inftantaneously be entertained with the horns. Adieu.

1

LETTER

NOT far from this city lives a poor tinker, who has educated feven fons, all at this very time in arms and fighting for their country, and what reward do you think has the tinker from the ftate for fuch important fervices? None in the world; his fons, when the war is over, may probably be whipt from parish to parish as vagabonds, and the old man, when paft labour, may die a prisoner in fome house of correction.

Such a worthy fubject in China would be held in univerfal reverence; his fervices would be rewarded if not with dignities, at least with an exemption from labour; he would take the left hand at feasts, and mandarines themselves would be proud to fhew their fubmiffion. The English laws punish vice, the Chinese laws do more, they reward virtue !

Confidering the little encouragement given to matrimony here, I am not furprized at the difcouragements given to propagation. Would you believe it, my dear Fum Hoam, there are laws made, which even forbid the people's marrying each other. By the head of Confucius I jeft not; there are fuch laws in being here; and yet their law-givers have neither been inftructed among the Hottentots, nor imbibed their principles of equity from the natives of Anamaboo.

There are laws which ordain, that no man fhall marry a woman against her own confent. This though contrary to what we are taught in Afia, and though in fome meafure a clog upon matri

mony,

mony, I have no great objection to. There are laws which ordain, that no woman fhall marry against her father and mother's confent, unless arrived at an age of maturity; by which is understood thofe years, when women with us are generally paft child-bearing. This must be a clog upon matrimony, as it is more difficult for the lover to please three than one, and much more difficult to please old people than young ones. The laws ordain, that the confenting couple fhall take a long time to confider before they marry; this is a very great clog, because people love to have all rafh actions done in a hurry. It is ordained, that all marriages fhall be proclaimed before celebration; this is a fevere clog, as many are afhamed to have their marriage made public, from motives of vicious modefty, and many afraid from views of temporal intereft. It is ordained, that there is nothing facred in the ceremony, but that it may be diffolved to all intents and purposes by the authority of any civil magiftrate. And yet oppofite to this it is ordained, that the priest shall be paid a large fum of money for granting his facred permiffion.

Thus you fee, my friend, that matrimony here is hedged round with fo many obftructions, that those who are willing to break through or furmount them must be contented, if at last they find it a bed of thorns. The laws are not to blame, for they have deterred the people from engaging as much as they could. It is indeed become a very ferious affair in England, and none but ferious people are generally found willing to engage. The young, the gay, and the beautiful, who have motives of paffion only to induce them, are feldom found to embark, as those inducements are taken away, and none but the old, the ugly, and the mercenary are seen to unite, who,

if