But straight from kindness Dick to humors grows,
And then to th’barrels he his valour shows,
Throwing about the cups, the pots, the glasses,
And rails at the tuns, calling them drunken asses:
Ne'r ceasing this same faithfull coyl to keep,
Till under th❜hogs-head Dick fals fast asleep.
A pretty block Sextinus names his Hat,
So much the fitter for his head by that.
Ralph challeng'd Robin, time and place appointed, Their Parents heard on't, O how they lamented! But good luck was, they soon were freed of fear, The one ne'r meant, the other came not there.
652. On humane Bodies.
Our bodies are like shooes, which off we cast,
Physick their Cobler is, and death the Last.
653. On Trencherman.
Tom shifts the Trenchers, yet he never can,
Endure that luke-warm name of Servingman;
Serve or not serve, let Tom do what he can,
He is a serving, who's a Trencher-man.
654. A Toothlesse-pratler,
Nature the teeth doth as an hedge ordain,
The nimble frisking tongue for to contain:
No marvel then since that the hedge is out,
If Fuscus tongue walketh so fast about.
655. A musicall Lady.
A lady fairer far than fortunate,
(In dancing) thus o'r-shot her self of late,
The Musick not in tune, pleasd not her mind,
For which she with the Fidlers fault did find;
Fidlers (quoth she) your Fiddles tune for shame,
But as she was a speaking of the same,
To mend the consort, let she did a (F.)
Whereas the fidling knaves thus did her greet,
Madam your pipe's in tune, it plays most sweet;
Strike up, qd. they, (but then the knaves did smile)
And as you pipe, wee'l dance another while.
At which, away the blushing Lady flings,
But as she goes, her former notes she sings.
656. In Laurettam.
Lauretta is laid o'r, how Ile not say,
I think two manner of wayes I may, Doubly layd o'r, videlicet, her face,
Laid o'r with colours, and her coat with lace.
You call my verses toys, th'are so, 'tis true,
Yet they are better then ought comes from you.
658. Briskap the Gallant.
Though thou hast little judgement in thy head,
More than to dresse thee, drink and go to bed;
Yet may'st thou take the wall, and th'way shalt lead,
Sith Logick wills that simple things precede.
659. Necessity hath no Law.
Florus did beat his Cook, and 'gan to sweare,
Because his meat was rotten roasted there.
Peace good sir (quoth the Cook) need hath no Law, 'Tis rotten roasted, 'cause 'twas rotten raw.
Carentius might have wedded where he woo'd,
But he was poor, his means was nothing good,
'Twas but for lack of living that he lost her;
For why? no penny now, no Pater Noster.
Harpax gave to the poor all by his will,
Because his heir should not faign'd tears distill.
Tonsorius onely lives by cutting haire,
And yet he brags that Kings to him sit bare:
Me thinks he should not brag and boast of it,
For he must stand to beggars while they sit.
The morrow after just Saint Georges day,
Grandtorto piteous drunk, sate in a ditch,
His hands by's side, his gelding stray'd away,
His scarlet hose, and doublet very rich;
With mud and mire all beastly raid, and by
His feather with his close-stool-hat did ly.
We ask'd the reason of his sitting there,
Zounds 'cause I am King Solomon (quoth he)
And in my Throne; then for the Love we beare,
(Replyed my selfe) unto your Majesty,
Wee'l pull you out, and henceforth wish your grace
Would speak your Proverbs in a warmer place.
664. The Fencer and Physick Doctor.
Lie thus (the Fencer cryes) thus must you guard,
Thus must you slip, thus point, thus pass, thus ward,
And if you kill him sir, this trick learn then
With this same trick you may kill many men.
A Doctor standing by, cryes, Fencing fool,
Both you and he to me may come to school,
Thou dost but prate my deeds shall show my skill,
Where thou hurt'st one, an hundred I do kill.
Lusia who scorns all others imitations,
Cannot abide to be out-gone in fashions:
She sayes she cannot have a hat or ruffe,
A gown, a peticoat, a band, or cuffe,
But that these Citizens (whom she doth hate)
Will get into't, at ne'r so dear a rate :
But Lusia now doth such a fashion wear,
Whose hair is curl'd, and costs her somewhat dear:
That there's no Citizen, what e'r she be,
Can be transform'd so like an Owl as she.
Give the food that satisfies a Guest:
Kisses are but dry banquets to a feast.
A lusty old grown-grave gray-headed Sire,
Stole to a wench, to quench his lusts desire;
She ask'd him what profession he might be?
I am a Civil Lawyer, Girle, (quoth he)
A Civil Lawyer Sir! you make me muse,
Your talk's too broad for Civil men to use;
If Civil Lawyers are such bawdy men,
Oh what (quoth she) are other lawyers then?
668, Rainaldo, and Reiner.
Rainaldo meeting Reiner in the street,
Deep in his debt, he doth thus Reiner greet,
You know some money is betwixt us two,
That well-nigh now this ten years hath been due ;
Quoth Reiner (looking down unto his feet)
I' faith and we will part it, if I see't:
But as I live Rainaldo I find none,
As fain as you, I would you had your own.
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