He can declaime, chide, censure verses, write,
And do all things better than Cato might;
He knows the Law and rules it, hath and is
Whole Servius, and what Labeo can possesse,
In briefe let rich men wish that e're they love,
'Twill come, they in a lock'd chest keep a Jove.
A poore man being sent for to the King,
Began to covet much a certaine thing
Before he went: being but an Iron naile,
His friend did aske him what it would availe?
(Quoth he) this is as good as one of steele,
For me to knock now into fortunes wheele.
Three Pages on a time together met,
And made a motion, that each one would let
The other know what hee'd desire to be
Having his wish, thereto they did agree.
Quoth one, to be a Melon I would chuse :
For then I'm sure, none would refuse
To kisse my breech, although the sent were hot,
And so they'd know whether I were good or not.
69. A Peasant and his wife.
A Peasant with his wife was almost wilde,
To understand his Daughter was with childe,
And said if to the girle sh'ad taken heed,
Sh'ad not been guilty of so foule a deed.
Husband (said she) I swear by cock,
(Welfare a good old token)
The Dev'll himselfe can't keep that lock
Which every key can open.
Virgil of Mars and ruthfull warres did treat,
Ovid of Venus love, and peace did write :
Yet Virgil for his strain was counted great,
And Ovid for his love was bannished quite ;
No marvell then if courtezie grow cold,
When hate is prais'd, and love it self control'd.
Were I to choose a Captain, I would than,
Not choose your courtier or a youthfull man,
No, I would choose a judge, one grim and grave:
To make a Captaine such a man I'de crave:
Give me that man, whose frowning brow is death,
I, such an one, as can kill men with breath.
72. Asperum nimis condimentum.
Monsieur Albanus new invested is,
With sundry suits and fashions passing fit,
But never any came so neer as this,
For joy whereof Albanus frollique is:
Untill the Taylours bill of solvi fias,
Diverts his humor to another bias.
Grammarians talk of times past and hereafter:
I spend time present in pastime and laughter.
Because thou followst some great Peer at Court,
Dost think the world deem's thee a great one for't?
Ah no! thou art mistaken Paulus, know
Dwarfs still as pages unto giants goe.
75. On a cowardly Souldier.
Strotzo doth weare no ring upon his hand,
Although he be a man of great command;
But gilded spurres do jingle at his heeles
Whose rowels are as big as some coach-wheels,
He grac'd them well, for in the Netherlands,
His heels did him more service then his hands.
76. Auri sacra fames-quid non?
A smooth fac'd youth was wedded to an old,
Decrepit shrew, such is the power of gold:
That love did tye this knot, the end will prove,
The love of money not the god of love.
77. On Lepidus and his wife.
Lepidus married somewhile to a shrew,
She sick'ned, he in jesting wise to shew
How glad her death would make him; said sweethe
I pray you e're you sing loth to depart,
Tell who shall be my second wife, and I
After your death will wed her instantly,
She somewhat vext hereat, straightway replide.
Then let grim Pluto's daughter be your bride.
He answer'd wife I would your will obey,
But that our laws my willingnesse gain-say:
For he, who Pluto's sister takes to wife,
Cannot his daughter too, upon my life.
Aske me not Phillis why I do refuse
To kisse thee as the most of gallants use,
For seeing oft thy dog to fawn and skip
Upon thy lap and joyning lip to lip,
Although thy kisses I full faine would crave;
Yet would I not thy dog my rivall have.
Although thy neighbor have a handsom horse,
Matchlesse for comlv shape, for hue and course
And though thy wife thou knowst ill-shapen be,
Yet Charidemus praises mightily,
His ugly wife and doth the horse dispraise :
How subtilly the fox his engin layes,
For he desires his neighbours horse to buy,
And sell his wife to any willingly.
Is no juice pleasing but the grapes? is none,
So much beloved? doth perfection,
Onely conjoyn in wine? or doth the well
Of Aganippe with this liquor swell,
That Poets thus affect it? shall we crown
A meere exotique? and contemn our own,
Our native liquor? haunt who list the grape,
I'le more esteem our Oate, whose reed shall make,
An instrument to warble forth her praise,
Which shall survive untill the date of daies,
And eke invoke some potent power divine,
To patronize her worth above the vine.
81. On a vaunting Poetaster.
Cacilius boasts his verses worthy bee,
To be engraven on a Cypresse tree,
A Cypresse wreath befits 'em well; 'tis true
For they are neer their death, and crave but due.
82. On a valiant Souldier.
A Spanish Souldier in the Indian warre
Who oft came off with honor and some scar,
After a teadious battle, when they were
Enforc'd for want of bullets to forbear
Farther to encounter, which the savage Moor Perceiving, scoff'd, and nearer then before Approach'd the Christian host, the souldier griev'd To be out-brav'd, yet could not be reliev'd
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