confusion, if I am forced to advance.-Oh no, I can never advance !-I shall swoon if he should expect advances. No, I hope Sir Rowland is better bred than to put a lady to the necessity of breaking her forms. I won't be too coy, neither. -I won't give him despair-but a little disdain is not amiss; a little scorn is alluring.

FOIB. A little scorn becomes your ladyship.

LADY WISH. Yes, but tenderness becomes me best-a sort of dyingness-you see that picture has a sort of a-ha, Foible! a swimmingness in the eye-yes, I'll look so-my niece affects it ;. but she wants features. Is Sir Rowland handsome ? Let my toilet be removed-I'll dress above. I'll receive Sir Rowland here. Is he handsome ? Don't answer me. I won't know: I'll be surprised, I'll be taken by surprise.

FоIB. By storm, madam, Sir Rowland's a brisk man.

LADY WISH. Is he ! O then he 'll importune, if he's a brisk man. I shall save decorums if Sir Rowland importunes. I have a mortal terror at the apprehension of offending against decorums. O, I'm glad he's a brisk man. Let my things be removed, good Foible.

WE

LXXIII

Mrs. Shandy in a curtain talk

E should begin, said my father, turning himself half round in bed, and shifting his pillow a little towards my mother's, as he opened

the debate-We should begin to think, Mrs. Shandy, of putting this boy into breeches.

We should so, said my mother.—We defer it, my dear, quoth my father, shamefully.

I think we do, Mr. Shandy, said my mother. -Not but the child looks extremely well, said my father, in his vests and tunics..

. . He does look very well in them,—replied my mother..

-And for that reason it would be almost a sin, added my father, to take him out of 'em.—

-It would so, said my mother :-But indeed he is growing a very tall lad,—rejoined my father. -He is very tall for his age, indeed, said my mother.

-I can not (making two syllables of it) imagine, quoth my father, who the deuce he takes after.I cannot conceive, for my life,―said my

mother.

Humph!—said my father.

(The dialogue ceased for a moment.)

-I am very short myself,-continued my father gravely.

You are very short, Mr. Shandy,—said my mother.

Humph! quoth my father to himself, a second time in muttering which, he plucked his pillow a little further from my mother's, and turning about again, there was an end of the debate for three minutes and a half.

-When he gets these breeches made, cried my father in a higher tone, he'll look like a beast in 'em.

He will be very awkward in them at first, replied my mother.

-And 'twill be lucky, if that's the worst on 't, added my father.

It will be very lucky, answered my mother.

I suppose, replied my father, making some pause first, he'll be exactly like other people's children.

Exactly, said

my mother.

-Though I shall be sorry for that, added my father and so the debate stopped again.

-They should be of leather, said my father, turning him about again.

They will last him, said my mother, the longest. But he can have no linings to 'em, replied my father.

He cannot, said my mother.

"Twere better to have them of fustian, quoth my father.

Nothing can be better, quoth my mother.. -Except dimity,-replied my father:-"Tis best of all,-replied my mother.

-One must not give him his death, however,— interrupted my father.

By no means, said my mother :—and so the dialogue stood still again.

I am resolved, however, quoth my father, breaking silence the fourth time, he shall have no pockets in them.

-There is no occasion for any, said my mother.

I mean in his coat and waistcoat,-cried my father. -I mean so too,-replied my mother.

-Though if he gets a gig or top-Poor souls! it is a crown and a sceptre to them,—they should have where to secure it.

...

Order it as you please, Mr. Shandy, replied my mother.

-But don't you think it right? added my father, pressing the point home to her.

Perfectly, said my mother, if it pleases you, Mr. Shandy.

-There's for you! cried my father, losing temper-Pleases me!-You never will distinguish, Mrs. Shandy, nor shall I ever teach you to do it, betwixt a point of pleasure and a point of convenience.

LXXIV

Mrs. Shandy is too complacent again

you,

Mr.

HAVE an article of news to tell I Shandy, quoth my mother, which will surprise you greatly.

Now my father was then holding one of his second beds of justice, and was musing within himself about the hardships of matrimony, as my mother broke silence. . .

"My brother Toby, quoth she, is going to be married to Mrs. Wadman."

-Then he will never, quoth my father, be able to lie diagonally in his bed again as long as he lives. It was a consuming vexation to my father, that my mother never asked the meaning of a thing she did not understand.

That she is not a woman of science, my father

would say is her misfortune-but she might ask a question.

My mother never did.—In short, she went out of the world at last without knowing whether it turned round, or stood still.-My father had officiously told her above a thousand times which way it was, but she always forgot.

For these reasons, a discourse seldom went on much further betwixt them, than a proposition, -a reply, and a rejoinder; at the end of which, it generally took breath for a few minutes (as in the affairs of the breeches), and then went on again.

If he marries, 'twill be the worse for us,—quoth my mother.

Not a cherry-stone, said my father, he may as well batter away his means upon that, as anything else.

-To be sure, said my mother: so here ended he proposition, the reply,—and the rejoinder, I old you of.

It will be some amusement to him, too,-said my father.

A very great one, answered my mother, if he

should have children.

-Lord have mercy upon me,-said my father to himself.

LXXV

Miss Tabitha is annoyed

DOCTOR LEWS,

To DR. LEWIS

GIVE me leaf to tell you, methinks you mought employ your talons better, than to encourage