페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub

way

with all the wives in the world-man, woman and child.

Enter STIRLING.

Stir. Rourke, here, take this letter to Mr. Jumble directly.

O'Daisy (aside). By St. Patrick, I believe they all take me for a two-penny post.

Stir. And d'ye hear?

O'Daisy. Yes, your Honour.

Stir. If he should call here, say I am not at home-I don't chuse to see him.

O'Daisy. Not see-him! not see young Mr. Jumble! Och! if his poor dead father, my late master, could but listen to what you were saying, he wouldn't believe it with his own eyes.

Stir. (half aside). I desired Mr. Cypher to bring all old Jumble's papers down with him: I'll clear my hands of the business as soon as possible. Why don't you go?

O'Daisy. Because, your Honour, O'Rourke O'Daisy never in his life before went such a dirty road, and by my soul he does not know the way. Stir. Be off immediately. Zounds! I shall be choaked with rage: I wish that fellow was at Ballinatrotty again with all my heart. [Exit.

O'Daisy (aside). Och! don't be in a hurry, and you'll be choak'd with something else. Ballinatrotty indeed! to be sure they wouldn't be happy to see me and my darling little spouse trotting over the water again to 'em.

DUETT-O'DAISY, DOLLY.

I.

O'Daisy. Long ago from my country I trotted away,
Knowing well how to rake, and to tumble the hay;
With a wife now returning, it much better suits,
To leave raking alone, and be raising recruits.
Then arrah, be aisy,
Sweet Mrs. O'Daisy,

Both.

To tickle my heart, to be sure she'd the knack;
While the merry bells ring,

We shall caper and sing,

Huzza! for Old Ireland, with hubbubboo whack!
Then, arrah, be aisy, &c.

II.

Dolly. Then the lads and the lasses, dear heart how they'll

stare,

When I sport my new olothes first at Donnybrook fair,
In my little straw hat, tied with green silken bows,
In my shoe a smart knot, in my bosom a rose,
They'll all cry be aisy,

"Tis Mrs. O'Daisy,

The sweet little creature that Rourke has brought back.
While the merry bells ring,

We shall caper and sing,

Huzza, for Old Ireland, with hubbubboo whack!

Both. Then, arrah, be aisy, &c.

[Exit O'Daisy and Dolly.

SCENE III.

A Room with Books, Papers, &c.

Enter JUMBle.

Jumb. No letter!, no message! Oh! these are the charming agonies of love (as Thomson says),

whose miseries delight.-No answer!-and on my birth-day too!-Cruel girl!-but I'm too anxious -so I'll write an essay on Patience;business may keep love out of my head, but it never can root it. from my heart.

Enter QUILL.

Quill. Sir! Mr. Foolscap has just been here, and says he's determined to print his own works. Jumb. So much the better for the chandler's shops.

Quill, And Mr. Grim, Sir, has just call'd to see the first proof; but the printer's devil has not brought it.

Jumble. What's the work?

Quill. A Satire-he calls it "The Reward of Vice."

Jumble. The Reward of Vice. Oh, tell him when there is a proof of it, the devil will bring it him.

Quill. Yes, Sir.

Jumble. Quill, bring those papers:-I'll arrange them for the press; by that time they may send for me to the Cottage.-Oh, Clara! should I have forgotten your birth-day!-Should I have neglected you any day!-Now then, what is there to insert? (Reads). Wanted: A wife-A great show of horned cattle-A lottery ticket - A highway robbery-A public masquerade-A private mad-house-and all these paragraphs.

Quill. Yes, Sir.
Jumble. Paid for?
Quill. Yes, Sir.

[Jumble sits at the Table.

C

Enter JERRY BLOSSOM.

Jerry. When Mr. Jumble be'ant busy, I'd speak a word with 'un.

Quill. Then you'll wait long enough, I can tell you-he's as little leisure as business ;-he's always hurried for time tho' he's nothing to do. Exit Quill.

Jumble. By the bye, I wonder Mrs. Honeymouth is not more anxious for the "Victorious Lover."-I am obliged to tickle that old woman's palate with a novel, as Æneas did the monster Cerberus with a sop; her affectation, vanity, and pride, is my monster-my dog with three heads. Jerry. A dog with three heads! Dang it, I wish I was well out o' th house.

Jumble. Hey! Who are you, friend?

Jerry. 1-1-1-be Jerry Blossom, Zur.-I want our Dolly-I

Jumble. And who the devil is our Dolly?
Jerry. A dog with three heads-

Jumble. What!

Jerry. Sir!

Jumble. Who the devil is our Dolly?

Jerry. She be my sister, Zur; I be come all the way from the North to find her.

Jumble. Oh, I understand-you want to advertise in my paper; I'll speak to you presently. Here (gives him a Book), did you ever learn to

read?

Jerry. Yes; when I was at charity school, they gave me a good book.

Jumble (throwing down the Book). Did they? You were in luck,-we don't print such things

paper.

now a-days. Sit down and spell the county news[Giving him a Newspaper. Jerry. Thank you thank you kindly, ZurDear heart, I be mortal tired. (Sits down). I ha'nt been much used to read any but out of my own books; but howsomever I'll try-Swallow'd poison

Jumble (at his Table). Yesterday was married Mr. Sapling, aged eighteen, to Mrs. Evergreen, aged seventy-six

Jerry. The effects have not transpired—

Jumble. No reason has been given for this rash action.

Jerry (reading). This morning the Right Hon. the Speaker

Jumble (writing). Convicted of keeping a disorderly house. Umph! mad bull.

Jerry. Hey-(again reading)-Yesterday the new Lord Mayor was sworn into office

Jumble (reading). And afterwards toss'd and gor'd many people. Now, Jerry Blossom, what's your pleasure with me?

Jerry. Thank ye kindly, Zur-I ha' no pleasure with you. (Bows). My sister, Dolly Blossom by name, she liv'd in sarvice somewhere in this neighbourhood, and as I hadn't seen her awhile, I thought I'd just trudge up to these parts and enquire her out; and as you be Master at News, I thought to advertise and the like, but devil a bit can I find her, and I be nation vex'd about it, seeing I might ha' gotten a place hereabout mysen.

Jumble (aside). Egad! they want a servant at the Cottage-if so, this fellow may be useful to me. (To Jerry). At about a mile from the town, lives a gentleman of the name of Stirling-it's

« 이전계속 »