Oh, Fanny, I have juft received fuch gratifying intelligence Fanny From my uncle, Madam? Mrs Ant. I rom your uncle, child! No; from Mr. Babble. He has juft received a new ftock of cofmetics from London, by the help of which, we all eclipfe the whole village. Fanny. Youth and beauty, Madam, require no aid from fuch quackeries. They are fit only for declining batchelors, and decayed old maids! Mrs. Ant. Old maids, Mifs Tranfit! Infufferable affurance! Fanny. But I guess the caufe. The all-powerful Mr. Babble, whofe perfuafive eloquence, would make you confume every noftrum in his shop. Mrs. Ant. Silence! filence! Miss Transit, I insist ! Fanny. By all means, Madam; and in return, I beg you'll never plague me by enumerating the accomplishments of his ftupid booby of a fon. My uncle, Madam, never intended me for the wife of a paltry perfumer Mrs. Ant. Paltry perfumer, indeed! but I infift on your treating young Mr. Babble with proper respect. Fanny. With proper refpect, I certainly will. I'll flap his ugly face the firft time he has the impudence to fhew it. JEREMY BABBLE (without.) J. Bab. Mrs. Antidote at home? I'm a happy man. (Enters.) Both Ladies here--doubly bleft -fay a good word to the young one for fon PeterMrs, Antidote, your moft obedient-Mifs Fanny, yours-just cali'd in to pay my duty-left the hop in care of Peter-my fon-a young man of strong parts-Mifs Tranfit, though I fay it that fhoudn't, cuts a crop in the higheft Ityle of elegance-and for a peruke, he has no fellow-his father exceptedexcuse vanity, Ladies. The bill came fafe to hand, I truft-never in the whole courfe of bufinefs received fo choice an affemblage- hope you have fixed on the articles wanted, or you'll be too late; and never again may Jeremiah B bble have fuch an opportunity of gratifying his friends and the Public with fuperior goods. Efprit de Rofe-tranfparent Soap-Macaffer Oil-Hair, tooth and Nail Brushes -Combs of all defcriptions-Washes and Lotions of all kinds-Powder puffs-Spanish Blacking and Bear's grease. Fanny. Blacking, did you fay, Mr. Babble? 7. Bab. Certainly-Mifs Fanny-certainly-nothing but what my fhop affords-Drugs-Chemicals -Family Medicines and Perfumery in all its branches I polish the heels as well as the head-and in these times, Ladies (forry am I to fay it) the head's thought little of-outfide polifh is all the go-and heads are cropt inftead of ears. By the bye-d'ye ufe Honey-water-fome o'th' beft in England-feven-and-fixpence a bottle-my son uses it—he's got a head Fanny So has a calf J. Bab Blefs my foul-very rude that Mrs. Ant. Allow me to fay, dear Mr. Babble J. Bab. Dear! no fuch thing- -cheap as dirt, Ma'am-only feven-and-fixpence-damme, they wart a pint bottle to hold a quart. Mrs. ant. You miftake, Sir! I have mark'd thofe articles I wish for, and you'll oblige me with calling with them yourfelf. J. Bab. Always grateful. Mrs. Ant. Or by fending your most accomplished fon; but be fure he brings his head. J. Bab. Ha! don't like that girl-fon Peter muft tho'-or fhop will go to the devil-muft marry her -I'll marry the old one-make her look like a Venus in a month, by the help of my new specific. Blefs my foul! Peter Enter PETER. Peter. Oh father, who'd ha' thought it- 7. Bab. Indeed-what of him? Peter. Can't tell-but young WhitethornFanny: What! Oliver Whitethorn ?-has any thing happened? Peter. Yes, fomething has happen'd Mrs. Ant. What is it, Mr. Peter? Peter. That's what I want to know-couldn't get particulars-fomething's gone wrong-Oliver's gone away-Ellen's gone filly-that's nothing new-moft women keep her in countenance 7 Bab But who's taking care of my shop, aye? Peter. Oh, lord-1 forgot the shop. J. Bab. Forgot the shop! Peter. Yes heard there was fomething newaway I run call'd at Ellen's-fhe cried fiighed, and fo forth-very fond of me-can't help it-no more can I-Mum-I fay nothing-'twon't do-afk'd her father for Oliver-he rail'd at Mifs Tranfit-call'd her flirt-jilt-coquette-all forts of paw-paw names. J. Bab. But what's become of the shop? Peter. Damn the fhop-fick of perfumery-hate medicines-want fomething new. Fanny. Provoking-I fear I've behaved very ill to poor Oliver-fhould any thing happen to him, I fhall break my heart. Mrs. Ant. Ridiculous! Mifs Tranfit-I defire you'll attend my inftructions-respecting young Mr. Babble Fanny. I hate him-deteft him-yet-well, Madam, I fhall obey you; I'll make the fool pleafed with himself, and by his means, it poffible, learn fome news of my poor deferted lover. Mr. BabbleJ. Bab. (running forward.) Your flave-any com mands in my way ? Fanny. I wish to have a little J. Bab. Arquebufade-or orange flower-waterFanny. No, no, a few minutes converfation with your fon, Sir. Peter. With me-blefs my foul-here's fomething new-out of the way, Dad!-I'm the man for the ladies-my figure feiches 'em all J. Bab. Well done, Peter-now's your time-I'll run home directly. (runs against Mrs. Ant.) Mrs. Antidote eg a thousand pardons. Mrs. Ant. My dear Sir, you're not leaving us already J. Bab. My dear Madam, your agreeable focietyNow's the time-hop may take care of itself, as Peter fays (retires with Mrs. Antidote.) Fanny. I wish to fpeak-that is to fay Peter. Oh! oh! bafiful-can't bring it outFanny. You are no doubt aware of the favourable impreffion, I have received Peter. Favourable impreffion-it's a done thing Fanny. Makes me anxious Peter. Agitation Fanny. To know the fate of one Peter. Palpitation Fanny: And from your lips alone I wait Peter. Expectation Fanny. To hear fome tidings of-Oliver Whitethorn. Peter. Damnation ! Fanny. When I receive intelligence of him, I shall judge better how to conduct myfelf to one, who has fo ftrong an intereft in this poor fluttering heart(aside.) If I fucceed-I'll make a proper fool of you, before I've done. Peter. I wish you every fuccefs in that you can defire, Mifs Fanny-I'll about it directly-all the particulars-(afie)—soon have her pretty pop. pet-hand fome couple Fanny, Stay-I depend on fecrecy Peter. Mum's the word-I fay nothing-Peter's the boy. Fanny. And fhould any thing transpire Peter. Any Thing New?-you have the first information-Blefs my foul-here's an upfhot (J. BABBLE and Mrs. ANTIDOTE return.) Out of the way, Dad;-my figure has done it. [Exit. J. Bab. Why he went off with a bounce, like a bottle of my beft American 1pruce. Fanny. On a little meffage for me, Sir. J. Bab. He's highly honoured!-oh! its all fettled-the bargain's ftruck-I'm a happy man Mrs. Ant. Vaftly well indeed, Miís Tranfit; we'll talk of this presently. Mr. Babble and myself have a few arrangements to make which will detain meFanny Oh! I beg I may not interrupt you; feel a little indifpofed, and fhall be glad to retire. I J. Bab. Indifpofed-don't fay fo-pray let me recommend care-fhall fend any thing-1 have every thing-fal volatile-æther-bartshorn-fpirit of lavender-aromatic vinegar, fresh from 'pothecary's hall, in the highest ftate of perfection. Fanny. Nothing you can offer will be of the leaft fervice to me. I leave you to your tête-à-tète. Interefting-amiable couple-ha! ha. [Exit. Bab. Ha! ha! Don't like that laugh, tho'Smoke a quiz-Didn't like that calve's head at all. Mrs. Ant. Friends like you, Sir, are feldom met |