J. Bab. I thought fo-'thas been long on my books.

Mrs. Ant. A declaration of Love

J. Bab. Oh lord!-Bill thrown out!-Damn the shop-I shall ruin all!-Now for a dofe of Lovepowder. But, Madam-what is money to the fentiments I feel dirt-drofs-a mere drug-affafcetida-fenna-fugar of lead-fweet, while it poifons: No I barter gold for love-let others pant for riches'tis here I figh.

Mrs. Ant. If I thought you fincere, Mr. BabbleJ. Bab. Nay then, let me fwear

Enter PETER.

Peter. Swear not at all-fo fays the Proverb-bad habit-I never do damn'd unlucky tho'-I can't get the particulars for Fanny.

Mrs. Ant. Stupid dolt, at fuch a time too

J. Bab. Get out; you blockhead-don't you fee don't you fee?

Peter. See what?-Oh! fomething new-wonderful-Dad wants another wife!

J. Bab. Not a word, you whelp, or I'll nail you to the counter all the reft of your life, like a bad dollar, you dog!

Peter. Mum-I fay nothing-off-well done, Dad not a word more.-Mrs. Antidote, beg pardon-won't intrude-better engaged I fee-lo am I-mum's the word-I'm off. [Exit.

Mrs. Ant. Provoking intrufion

J. Bab. Dreadful indeed, irritating as a blifter;but we are alone again-and you, adorable creature, efface every difagreeable impreffion like cold cream or milk of rofes:Now then delay no longer, but pronounce the fate of him, who fo long has fighed at E

the fect of beauty. (As Mrs. ANTIDOTE turns her head affectedly, SIDNEY enters, and places himself between them)

Mrs. Ant. I am overcome-I am your's for ever.Ha!

Sid. Hey-day-what's all this

J. Bab. (rising.) Baulk'd again!-The fates are against me. Love is a dead article, and I close the

account.

Sid. Upon my word, Mrs. Antidote-I give you joy;-I didn't expect at your time-a-day to find an admirer at your feet; I beg pardon for the intrufion however.

Mrs Ant. Mr. Sidney-pray Sir-excufe this agitation, the furprize of feeing you, fo unexpected

Sid. Ay, ay, I thought you'd be glad to see me. But where's Fanny-where's my niece, eh ?-I've got a husband for her too; fo one may chance to have a double wedding-hey, Mrs. Antidote ?

J Bab. Hufband for Fanny? Babble and Son bankrupts both!

Sid. But why not introduce your friend?May I be allowed, Mrs. Antidote

Mrs. Ant. I beg a thousand pardons, I declare I am fo flutter'd-I am-fo-fhaken-.

J. Bab. So am I-all in emotion like a faline draught.

Mrs. Ant. Mr. Babble, Sir, Mr. Sidney-(introducing them.)

J. Bab. Sir, your most obedient.-Sidney returned-fomething new for Peter.

Sid, Babble-Babble !-why that's the perfumer and phyfic feller that fet up in the village juft as I left it. (Mrs. Antidote motions.) Well, I give you joy, and shall be happy to ferve you, Sir.

J. Bab. Sir, if you'll give me your custom, I shall be happy to ferve you-the greatest joy you can pof

fibly confer on your most devoted fervant, Jeremiah Babble-Sign of the Musk rofe-Can't miss the houfe-Peftle and mortar over the door-sweets as well as phyfic-fupply with both on the lowest terms. Sid. Why, Sir, I never ufe perfumes; and as to phyfic-1 han't taken a dofe these forty years

J. Bab Zounds! this man will live for evermuft make him a customer-flatter myself I can accomodate with most articles in family ufe. All kinds of chemical and galenical preparations-mineral, vegetable, and ackaline-falts (cooling and uteful)nitric and oxyginated muricatic acids-(fweetens the blood and strengthens the body)-fyrup of buckthorn-extract of rofes, fafarparella, effence of coltsfoot, &c.-Hair powder (there I hit you, you use it)-beft in Europe-common or French-pomatums, cowflip-role and jeffamin. Effences-bergamot-thyme and mufk-orange and elder flowerwaters-Spanish wool, and coral lip-falve. Now for a coup-de-main as they fay.-Mr. Sidney-bill of my fhop-Mrs. Antidote-bill for goods delivered-forry to be troublesome-forty-fix poundmuft attend to bufinefs-Adieu-Mr. Sidney, your moft obedient. [Exit.

Sid. Why I never heard fuch a tongue in the mouth of a woman !-the fellow's as deafening as a What the ballad finger, or a watchman's rattle! Colmetic bloom-carmineplague's this?" forty-fix pounds"-This must be intended for you. But you don't feem fo glad to fee me as I expected. Mrs. Ant. Pardon me, Sir-the peculiarity of the circumftance

66

Sid Ah! well, I afk your pardon; go forward, and I'll be with you immediately. I know it's curfed difagreeable to be interrupted at fuch a crifis: I fhouldn't have relifh'd it myself..

Mrs. Ant. If I don't escape, I am expofed for ever.

Sid Ha! ha!-who the deuce would have thought it! In love forfooth! but I have almost ceased to be astonished at any thing!-Now who in the name of wonder could have fuppofed, that the very mo. ment I had fet foot in the village, I fhould light upon Old Whitethorn-and that he fhould tell me, my boy, John Sidney, was alive and wellBut he ever knew of my marriage, and I, like a proud afs, was afhamed to acknowledge it.-Oh! the days when I was young!-Lord! lord! how a man's follies in his youth, rife up in judgment against him in old age!

'Tis a truth, in my youth, I was frisky and gay,

With a figure and a face to suit any ;

Lasses cry'd, when I sigh'd, now don't teaze me so, pray,
But, still, I was'nt slighted by many

When'er I appear'd,

Smiling, they leer'd;

When to 'em I bow'd,

Heard 'em whisper aloud,

Such a grace, such a face, to-morrow I'd marry,
Oh! these were the days of young Harry.

Thus, alas! youth will pass, so all have a turn,
But why may not old men be merry?

If so old, that they're cold, and their hearts will not burn,
They may keep their stomach's warm with old sherry.

But I feel the glow,

Tho' love's fire is low,

Nor live in the dark,

While fanning a spark,

And in age,

I'll engage, a damsel to carry

Then take care, pretty maids, of old Harry.

[Exit.

SCENE IV. Another Apartment.

Enter SIDNEY, and FANNY TRANSIT.

Sid. So, these are her pranks, are they? What a thorough-paced devil it is; but I have difcovered her tricks, that's one comfort. So-the never gave you one of my letters for the laft half-a-dozen years, hey?

Fanny. Not one, Sir; and fcarce money enough to buy pins.

Sid. Well, Fanny, I fuppofe you have plenty of lovers? Now I'll try her. (aside)

Fanny. I did not think it right to encourage any, Sir, 'till I knew your pleasure.

Sid. What then you have accepted no one. Fanny. None, Sir; fent them all to the rightabout. " March-faid I-and away they went. Sid. Never gave your promife to any ?

Fanny. What mean thefe queftions (aside.)-No, Sir, never.

Sid. She fticks to her ftory. (aside) Well, I'm glad to hear it-for you must know, I have found a hufband for you. You are not engaged-therefore, I fuppofe, you'll hardly refufe my fon, and twenty thousand pounds.

Fanny. Your fon, Sir! Sid. Don't be uneafy; when you fee him, fay fo

your fon!

If you don't like him, honeftly; whatever you do, Fanny, never create hopes you do not mean to realize. Never become a coquette, at the expence of honour and honefty.

Fanny. He cuts me to the heart!

Sid. You, I trust, are above such an action. Now, I am told, there's a poor lad, by name, Oliver Whitethorn, who has been ruined by fuch a cha