To make them to themfelves give Anfwers,
For which they pay the Necromancers,
To fetch and carry Intelligence,
Of whom, and what, and where, and whence;
And all Difcoveries disperse,
Among th' whole pack of Conjurers ;
What Cut-purfes have left with them,
For the right Owners to redeem ;
And what they dare not vent, find out,
To gain themselves and th' Art Repute;
Draw Figures, Schemes, and Horoscopes,
Of Newgate, Bridewell, Brokers Shops;
Of Thieves afcendant in the Cart,
And find out all by Rules of Art.
Which way a Serving-man that's run
With Cloaths or Money, away is gone;
Who pick'd a Fob at Holding-forth,
And where a Watch, for half the worth
May be redeem'd, or stollen Plate
Reftor'd at Confcionable Rate.
Befide all this, he ferv'd his Mafter
In quality of Poetafter:
And Rhimes appropriate could make,
To ev'ry Month i' th' Almanack j
When Terms begin and end, could tell,
With their Returns in Doggerel.
When the Exchequer opes and fhuts,
And Sowgelder with fafety cuts.
When Men may eat and drink their fill,
And when be temp'rate if they will.
When ufe,and when abftain from Vice,
Figs, Grapes, Phlebotomy, and Spice.
And as in Prifons mean Rogues beat
Hemp for the Service of the Great,
So Whackum beat his dirty Brains
T' advance his Master's Fame and Gains
And like the Devil's Oracles,
Put into Doggrel-Rhimes his Spells,
Which over ev'ry Month's Blank-page
I' th' Almanack strange Bilks prefage.
He would an Elegy compofe
On Maggots fqueez'd out of his Nofe;
In Lyrick Numbers write an Ode on
His Mistress, eating a Black-pudden :
And when imprifon'd Air efcap'd her,
It puft him with Poetick Rapture.
His Sonnets charm'd th' attentive Crowd,
By wide-mouth'd mortal troll'd aloud,
That, circled with his long-ear'd Guefts,
Like Orpheus look'd, among the Beafts;
A Carman's Horfe could not pass by,
But ftood ty'd up to Poetry;
No Porter's Burthen pass'd along,
But ferv'd for Burthen to his Song.
Each Window, like a Pillry, appears,
With Heads thrust through nail'd by the Ears;
All Trades run in as to the fight
Of Monsters, or their dear delight
The Gallow-Tree, when cutting Purse,
Breeds Bus'nefs for Heroick Verfe,
Which none does hear, but would have hung
T' been the Theme of fuch a Song.
Those two together long had liv'd,
In Manfion prudently contriv'd;
Where neither Tree, nor House could bar
The free Detection of a Star ;
And nigh an Ancient Obelisk
Was rais'd by him, found out by Fisk,
On which was written not in Words,
But Hieroglyphick Mute of Birds,
Many rare pithy Saws concerning
The worth of Aftrologick Learning:
From top of this there hung a Rope,
To which he faft'ned Telescope;
The Spectacles with which the Stars
He reads in fmalleft Characters.
It hapned as a Boy one Night,
Did flie his Tarfel of a Kite;
The strangeft long-wing'd Hawk that flies,
That like a Bird of Paradife,
Or Herald's Martlet has no Legs,
Nor hatches young ones, nor lays Eggs :
His Train was fix yards long, Milk-white,
At the end of which there hung a Light,
Enclos'd in Lanthorn made of Paper,
That far off like a Star did appear.
This Sydrophel by chance efpy'd,
And with Amasement ftaring wide,
Blefs us, quoth he! What dreadful Wonder
Is that appears in Heaven yonder?
A Comet, and without a Beard,
Or Star that ne'er before appear'd?
I'm certain 'tis not in the Scrowl
Of all those Beafts, and Fish, and Fowl,
With which, like Indian Plantations,
The Learned flock the Conftellations ;
Nor those that drawn for Signs have been,
To th' Houfes where the Planets Inn.
It must be fupernatural,
Unless it be the Cannon-Ball,
That shot i' th' Air point-blank upright,
Was born to that prodigious height,
That learn'd Philofophers maintain,
It ne'er came backwards down again;
But in the Airy Region yet
Hangs like the Body of Mahomet:
For if it be above the Shade,
That by the Earth's round bulk is made,
'Tis probable it may from far
Appear no Bullet, but a Star.
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