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And if I knew which Way to do't,
(Your Honour safe) ld let you out.
That Dames by Gaol-Delivery
Of Errant Knights have been fet free,
When by Enchantment they have been,
And sometimes for it too, laid in ;
Is that which Knights are bound to do.'
By Order, Oath, and Honour too:
For what are they renown'd and fam'us elfe,
But aiding of distressed Damofels ?
But for a Lady no ways
To free a Knight, we have no Warrant
In any Authentical Romance,
Or Claffick Author yet of France :
And I'd be loth to have you break
An Antient Custom for a Freak,
Or Innovation introduce
In Place of Things of Antique Use;
Heels by any Course,
That might b'unwholefonie to your Spurs :
Which if I shou'd consent unto,
It is not in my Pow'r to do;
For 'tis a Service must be done ye With folemn previous Ceremony. Which always has been us’d to untie, The Charms of those who here do lie; For as the Ancients heretofore To Honour's Temple had no Door, But that which thorough Vertue's lay; So from this Dungeon there's no Way To bonour'd Freedom, but by passing, That other Vertuous School of Lashing, Where Knights are kept in narrow Lifts, With wcoden Lockets 'bout their Wrifts ; In which they for a-while are Tenants, And for their Ladies suffer Penance ; Whipping, that's Vertue's Governess, Tutress of Arts and Sciences; That mends the gross Mistakes of Nature, And puts new Life into dull Matter ; That lays Foundation for Renown, And all the Honours of the Gown : This suffer'd, they are set at large, And free'd with honorable Discharge:
Then in their Robes the Penetentials
Are streight presented with Credentials,
And in their way attended on
By Magistrates of ev'ry Town;
And all Respect and Charges paid,
They're to their antient Seats convey'd.
Now if you'll venture for my Sake
To try the Toughness of your Back,
And suffer (as the rest have done)
The laying of a Whipping on ;
(And may you prosper in your Suit,
As you with equal Vigour do't)
I here engage my self to loose ye,
And free your Heels from Caperdewjie.
But since our Sex’s Modesty
Will not allow I shou'd be by,
Bring me on Oath, a fair Account,
And Honour too, when you
And I'll admit you to the Place,
You claiin as due in my good Grace.
If Matrimony and Hanging go
By Destiny, why not Whipping too?
What Med'cine elfe can cure the Fits
Of Lovers, when they lose their Wits ?
Love is a Boy by Poets ftyld,
Then Spare the Rod, and Spoil the Child.
A Persian Emperor whip'd his Graunam
The Sea, his Mother Venus came on ;
And hence some Rev'rend Men approve.
Of Rosemary in making Love.
As skilful Coopers hoop their Tubs
With Lydian and with Pkrygian Dubs
Why may not Whipping have as good
A Grace, perform'd in Time and Mood,
With comely Movement, and by Art,
Raise Passion in a Lady's Heart?
It is an easier Way to make
Love by, than that which
Who wou'd not rather suffer Whipping,
Than swallow Toasts of Bits of Ribbon
Make wicked Verses, Treats, and Faces,
And spell Names over with Beer-Glasses >
Be under Vows to hang and die,
Love's Sacrifice, and all a Lye?
With China-Oranges, and Tarts,
And whining Plays, lay Baits for Hearts?
Bribe Chamber-Maids with Love and Money,
To break no Roguish Jests upon ye ?
For Lillies limn'd on Cheecks, and Roses,
With painted Perfumes, hazard Nofes?
Or vent’ring to be brisk and wanton,
Do Pennance in a Paper Lanthorn ?
All this you may compound for now
By suffering what I offer you,
Which is no more than has been done,
By Knights for Ladies long agone :
Did not the Great La Mancha do fo,
For the Infanta Del Toboso 3
Did not th'Illuftrious Bassa make
Himself a Slave for Mise's Sake ?
And with Bull's-Pizle, for her Love,
Was taw'd as gentle as a Glove?
Was not young Florio fent (to cool
His Flame for Biancasore) to School,
Where Pedant made his Pathick Burn
For her Sake suffer Martyr dom?