That Sinners may fupply the place
Of fuff'ring Saints, is a plain Cafe.
Juftice gives Sentence many times
On one Man for another's Crimes.
Our Brethren of New-England ufe
Choice Malefactors to excufe,
And hang the Guiltless in their stead,
Of whom the Churches have lefs need
As lately happen'd in a Town
There liv'd a Cobler, and but one,
That out of Doctrine could cut Ufe,
And mend Mens Lives as well as Shoes.
This precious Brother having flain
In times of Peace, an Indian,
(Not out Malice, but meer Zeal,
Because he was an Infidel)
The mighty Tottipottymoj
Sent to our Elders an Envoy;
Complaining forely of the Breach
Of League, held forth by Brother Patch,
Against the Articles in force
Between both Churches, his and ours,
For which he crav'd the Saints to render
Into his hands, or hang th' Offender:
But they maturely having weigh'd
They had no more but him o' th' Trade,
(A Man that ferv'd them in a double
Capacity, to Teach and Cobble,)
Refolv'd to fpare him; yet to do
The Indian Hoghgan Moghgan too
Impartial Juftice, in his ftead did
Hang an old Weaver that was Bed-rid.
Then wherefore may not you be skipp'd,
And in your room another whipp'd?
For all Philofophers, but the Sceptick,
Hold VVhipping may be Sympathetick.
It is enough, quoth Hudibras,
Thou haft refolv'd, and clear'd the Cafe;
And canft in Confcience not refufe
From thy own Doctrine to raise Use:
I know thou wilt not (for my fake)
Be tender-Confcienc'd of thy Back:
Then ftrip thee of thy Carnal Jerkin,
And give thy outward-fellow a Ferking,
For when thy Vessel is new boop'd,
All Leaks of finning will be stop'd.
Quoth Ralpho, You mistake the matter;
For in all Scruples of this Nature,
No Man includes himself, nor turns
The Point upon his own Concerns.
As no Man of his own felf catches
The Itch, or amorous French Aches:
So no Man does himself convince
By his own Doctrine of his Sins:
And tho' all cry down felf, none means
His own felf in a lit'ral Sence :
Befide, it is not only Foppish,
But Vile, Idolatrous and Popish ;
For one Man out of his own Skin,
To ferk and whip another's Sin:
As Pedants out of School-boys Breeches
Do claw and curry their own Itches.
But in this Cafe it is Prophane,
And Sinful too, because in vain;
For we must take our Oaths upon it
You did the Deed, when I had done it..
Quoth Hudibras, That's anfwer'd foon; Give us the Whip, we'll lay it on.
Quoth Ralpho, That we may fwear true,
'Twere properer that I whipp'd you:
For when with your confent 'tis done,
The Act is really your own.
Quoth Hudibras, It is in vain
(I fee) to argue 'gainst the grain 3
Or, like the Stars, incline Men to
What they're averse themselves to do:
For when Difputes are weary'd out,
'Tis Intreft that refolves the Doubt:
But fince no Reafon can confute ye,
I'll try to force you to your Duty,
For fo it is, howe're you mince it,
As e're we part I fhall evince it.
And curry (if you ftand out) whether
You will or no your ftubborn Leather.
Canft thou refufe to bear thy part,
I' th' publick Work, base as thou art ?.
To higgle thus for a few Blows,
To gain thy Knight an op'lent Spouse ;
Whofe wealth his bowels yearn to purchase,.
Meerly for th' Int'reft of the Churches ;
And when he has it in his Claws,
Will not be hide-bound to the Caufe;
Nor shalt thou find him a Curmudgin,
If thou dispatch it without grudging :
If not, refolve before we go,
That You and I must pull a Crow.
Y' had beft (quoth Ralpho) as the Ancients Say wifely, Have a care o' th' main Chance, And look before you e'er you leap
For as you fow, you're like to reap:
And were y' as good as George-a-Green,
I fhall make bold to turn agen;
Nor am I doubtful of the Iffue
In a juft Quarrel; and mine is fo.
Is't fitting for a Man of Honour
To whip the Saints like Bishop Bonner?
A Knight t' ufurp the Beadle's Office,
For which y' are like to raise brave Trophies:
But I advife you (not for fear,
But for your own fake) to forbear
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