For Courts of Juftice understand
The Plantiff to be eldeft Hand:
Who, what he pleases, may aver,
The other, nothing till he fwear:
Is freely admitted to all Grace,
And Lawful Favour by his Place :
And for his bringing Custom in,
Has all Advantages to win,
I, who refolve to overfee
No lucky Opportunity,
Will go to Counsel to advise
Which way to encounter, or furprize,
And after long Confideration,
Have found out one to fit th Occafion;
Moft apt, for what I have to do,
As Counsellor, and Juftice too.
And truly fo, no doubt, he was,
A Lawyer fit for fuch a Cafe.
An Old dull Sot; who'd told the Clock
For many years at Bridewell-dock,
At Westminster, and Hicks's-Hall,
And Hiccius-Doccius play'd in all;
Where in all Governments and Times,
H' had been both Friend and Foe to Crimes,
And us'd two equal ways of gaining,
By hindring Justice, or maintaining:
To many a Whore gave Privilege,
And whip'd, for want of Quarteridge;
Cart-loads of Bawds to Prison fent,
For b'ing behind a Fortnights Rent
And many a trufty Pimp and Croney,
To Puddle-dock, for want of Money.
Engag'd the Conftable to feize
All thofe that would not break the Peace
Nor give him back his own foul Words,
Though fometimes Commoners, or Lords
And kept 'em Prifoners of Course,
For being fober at ill hours,
That in the Morning he might Free,
Or bind 'em over for his Fee.
Made Monsters fine, and Puppet plays,
For leave to Practice, in their ways:
Farm'd out all Cheats and went a fhare,
With th' Headborough, and Scavengen,
And made the Dirt i'th' Streets compound,
For taking up the publick Ground:
The Kennel, and the King's High way,
For being unmolested, Pay.
Let out the Stocks, and Whipping-Poft,
And Cage, to those that gave him moft;
Impos'd a Tax on Bakers Ears,
And for False Weights on Chandelers.
Made Victuallers and Vintners fine
For Arbitrary Ale and Wine.
But was a kind and constant Friend
To all that Regularly offend ;
As Refidentiary Bawds,
And Brokers that receive ftoll'n Goods;
That cheat in Lawful Myfteries,
And pay Church-Duties, and his Fees;
But was implacable and awker d,
To all that Interlop'd and Hawker'd.
To this brave Man, the Knight repairs
For Counsel in his Law-Affairs;
And found him mounted, in his Pew.
With Books, and Money plac'd, for Shew,
Like Neft-Eggs, to make Clients lay,
And for his falfe Opinion pay:
To whom the Knight, with comely Grace,
Put off his Hat, to put his Cafe:
Which he as proudly entertain'd,
As th' other courteously strain'd.
And to affure him, 'twas not that
He look'd for ; Bid him put on's Hat.
Quoth he, There is one Sidrophel,
Whom I have cudgel'dVery well.
And now he brags t'have beaten me.
Better and better ftill, quo' he.
And vows to ftick me to the Wall
Where e'er he meets me -Beft of all.
'Tis true the Knave has taken's Oath,
That I robb'd him Well done in Troth.
When h' has confefs'd, he ftole my Cloak,
And pick'd my Fob, and what he took;
Which was the Caufe that made me bang him,
And take my Goods again Marry hang him.
Now whether I fhould, before-hand
Swear he robb`d me? I understand..
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