Or bring my Action of Converfion
Or if 'tis better to indite,
And bring him to his Trial?
Prevent what he designs to do,
And swear for th' State againft him ?-True,
Or whether he that is Defendant
In this Cafe has the better End on't ;
Who putting in a New Cross-Bill,
May traverse th' Action?
Then there's a Lady too.I marry,
That's easily prov'd acceffary.
A Widow, who by folemn Vows,
Contracted to me, for my Spouse,
Combin'd with him to break her Word,
And has abetted all-
Suborn'd th'aforefaid Sidrophet,
To tamper with the Dev'l of Hell.
Who put m'into a horrid Fear,
Made an Affault, with Fiends and Men,
Upon my Body. -Good agen.
And kept me in a deadly Fright,
And falfe Imprisonment all Night,
Mean while they robb'd me, and my Horse,
And stole my Saddle,Worfe and worse;
And made me mount upon the bare-ridge,
T' avoid a wretcheder Mifcarriage:
Sir, quo' the Lawyer, not to flatter ye,
You have as Good, and fair a Battery,
As heart can wifh, and need not fhame
The proudeft Man alive to claim.
For if they've us'd you, as you fay';
Marry, quo' I, God give you Joy,
I would it were my Cafe, I'd give
More than I'll fay, or you'll believe;
I would fo trounce her, and her Purse,
I'd make her kneel for bett'r or worfe
For Matrimony, and Hanging here,
Both go by Destiny fo clear,
That you as fure, may pick and chufe,
As Crofs I win, and Pile you tofe:
And if I durft, I would advance
As much, in Ready Maintenance;
As upon any Cafe I've known,
But we that practice dare not own,
The Law feverely contrabands,
Our taking Business off Mens hands;
'Tis common Barratry, that bears
Point blank an Action 'gainst our Ears,
And crops them till there is not Leather,
To ftick a Pin in, left of either
For which, fome do the Summer-fault
And o'er the Bar, like Tumblers, vault.
But you may fwear at any rate,
Things not in Nature, for the State:
For in all Courts of Juftice here
A Witness is not faid to swear,
But make Oath, that is, in plain terms,
To forge whatever he affirms:
I thank you, quo' the Knight, for that,
Becaufe 'tis to my Purpose pat
For Juftice though fhe's painted blind,
Is to the weaker fide inclin❜d,
Like Charity; elfe Right and Wrong,
Could never hold it out fo long,
And, like blind Fortune, with a flight,
Conveys Mens Intereft, and Right,
From Stiles's Pocket, into Nokes's,
As eafily as Hocus Pocus;
Plays faft and loose, makes Men obnoxious,
And clear again, like Hiccius Doccius.
Then whether you would take her Life,
Or but recover her for your Wife :
Or be content with what she has,
And let all other matters Pass,
The Business to the Law's all one,
The Proof is all it looks upon;
And you can want no Witnesses,
To swear to any thing you please,
That hardly get their meer Expences
By th' Labour of their Confciences;
Or letting out to hire, their Ears,
To Affidavit Customers,
At inconfiderable Values,
To ferve for Jury-men, or Tallies,
Although retain❜d in th' hardeft matters,
Of Trustees, and Adminiftrators.
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