Will not allow the Privileges
That Beggars challenge under Hedges,
Who,when they're griev'd,can make deadHorfes
Their Spiritual Judges of Divorces;
While nothing elfe but Rem in Re
Can fet the proudest Wretches free;
A Slavery beyond enduring,
But that 'tis of their own procuring:
As Spiders never seek the Fly,
But leave him, of himself, t' apply;
So Men are by themselves betray'd,
To quit the Freedom they enjoy'd, .
And run their Necks into a Nooze.
They'd break 'em after, to break loofe.
As fome, whom Death would not depart,
Have done the Feat themselves by Art.
Like Indian-Widows, gone to Bed
In flaming Curtains to the Dead:
And Men as often dangled for't,
And yet will never leave the Sport.
Nor do the Ladies want excuse
For all the Stratagems they use,
To gain th' Advantage of the Set,
And lurch the Am'rous Rook and Cheat.
For as the Pythagorean Soul
Runs through all Beafts, and Fifh, and Fowl,
And has a Smack of ev'ry one
So Love does, and has ever done.
And therefore, though 'tis ne'er so fond,
Takes ftrangely to the Vagabond.
'Tis but an Ague that's reverst,
Whose hot Fit takes the Patient first,
That after burns with Cold as much
As Ir'n in Greenland does the Touch;
Melts in the Furnace of Defire,
Like Glass, that's but the Ice of Fire;
And when his Heat of Fancy's over,
Becomes as hard and frail a Lover.
For when he's with Love-powder laden,
And Prim'd and Cock'd by Mifs, or Madam,
The smallest Sparkle of an Eye
Gives Fire to his Artillery;
And off the loud Oaths go, but while
They're in the very Act, recoil.
C
Hence 'tis, fo few dare take their chance
Without a fep'rate Maintenance:
And Widows, who have try'd one Lover,
Truft none again, till th' have made over.
Or if they do, before they Marry,
The Foxes weigh the Geefe they carry :
And ere the venture on a Stream,
Know how to fize themselves and them.
Whence witty'ft Ladies always choose
To undertake the heaviest Goofe.
For now the World is grown fo wary,
That few of either Sex dare Marry,
But rather truft on Tick t' Amours,
The Crofs and Pile for Bett'r or Worfe:
A Mode that is held Honourable,
As well as French and Fafhionable.
For when it falls out for the best,
Where both are incommoded leaft,
In Soul and Body two unite,
To make up one Hermaphrodite;
Still Am'rous, and Fond, and Billing,
Like Philip and Mary on a Shilling,
Th' have more Punctilio's and Capriches
Between the Petticoat and Breeches,
More petulant Extravagances,
Than Poets make 'em in Romances,
Though, when their Heroes 'spouse the Dames;
We hear no more of Charms and Flames ↑
For then their late Attracts decline,
And turn as eager as prick'd Wine;
And all their Catterwauling Tricks,
In earnest to as jealous Piques :
Which th' Ancients wifely fignify'd,
By th' Yellow Mantau's of the Bride
For Jealoufie is but a kind
Of Clap and Crincum of the Mind,
The natural Effect of Love,
As other Flames and Aches prove:
But all the Mischief is, the Doubt
On whofe account they first broke out,
For though Chineses go to Bed,
And lie In in their Ladies ftead,
And for the Pains they took before,
Are Nurs'd and Pamper'd to do more:
C 2
Our Green-men do it worse, when th' hap
To fall in Labour of a Clap ;
Both lay the Child to one another:
But who's the Father, who the Mother,
'Tis hard to fay in Multitudes,
Or who imported the French Goods.
But Health and Sickness b'ing all one,
Which both engag'd before to own,
And are not with their Bodies bound
To Worship only when th' are found.
Both give and take their equal Shares
Of all they fuffer by falfe Wares:
A Fate no Lover can divert
With all his Caution, Wit, and Art.
For 'tis in vain to think to guess
At Women by Appearances;
That paint and patch their Imperfections Of Intellectual Complections;
And daub their Tempers o'er with Washes As artificial as their Faces;
Wear under Vizard-Masks their Talents, And Mother Wits before their Gallants ;
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