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Hence 'tis, fo few dare cake their chance
Without a sep’rate Maintenance :
And Widows, who have cry'd one Lover,
Truft none again, till th' have made over.
Or if they do, before tliey Marry,
The Foxes weigh the Geese they carry :
And ere the venture on a Stream,
Know how to fize themselves and chem.
Whence witty'st Ladies always choose
To undertake the heaviest Goose.
For now the World is grown fo wary,
That few of either Sex dare Marry,
But rather trust on Tick t'Amours,
The Cross and Pile for Bett'r or Worse ;
A Mode that is held Honourable,
As well as French and Fashionable.
For when it falls out for the best,
Where both are incommoded leaft,
In Soul and Body two unite,
To make up one Hermaphrodite;
Still Am’rous, and Fond, and Billing,
Like Philip and Mary on a Shilling,

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Th' have more Punctilio's and Capriches
Between the Petticoat and Breeches,
More petulant Extravagances,
Than Poets make 'em in Romances,
Though, when their Heroes Spouse the Dames;
We hear no more of Charms and Flames ?
For then their late Attracts decline,
And turn as eager as prick'd Wine ;
And all their Catterwauling Tricks,
In earnest to a's jealous Piques :
Which th’ Ancients wisely signify'd,
By th' Yellow Mantau's of the Bride ;
For Jealousie is but a kind
Of Clap and Crincum of the Mind,
The natural Effect of Love,
As other Flames and Aches prove:
But all the Mischief is, the Doubt
On whose account they first broke ottt.
For though Chinese's go to Bed,
And lie In in their Ladies stead,
And for the Pains they took before,
Are Nurs'd and Pamper'd to do more i

Our Green-men do it worse, when th' hap
To fall in Labour of a Clap ;
Both lay the Child to one another :
But who's the Father, who the Mother,

Tis hard to say in Multitudes,
Or who imported the French Goods.
But Health and Sickness b'ing all one,
Which both engag’d before to own,
And are not with their Bodies bound
To Worship only when th’are found.
Both give and take their equal Shares
Of all they suffer by false Wares :
A Fate no Lover can divert
With all his Caution, Wit, and Art.
For 'cis in vain to think to guess
At Women by Appearances ;
That paint and patch their Imperfections
Of Intellectual Complections ;
And daub their Tempers o’er with Washes
As artificial as their faces;
Wear under Vizard-Masks their Talents
And Mother Wits before their Gallants ;

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Until they're hamper'd in the Nooze,
Too fast to dream of breaking loofe :
When all the Flaws they strove to hide
Are made unready, with the Bride,
That with her Wedding-cloaths- undresses
Her Complaisance and Gentilesses ;
Tries all her Arts, to take upon her
The Government from th' easie Owner,
Until the Wretch is glad to wave
His lawful Right, and turn her Slaye;
Finds all his Having and his Holding,
Reducd eternal Noise and Scolding;
The Conjugal Petard, that téars
Down all Portcullices of Ears,
And makes the Volly of one Tongue
For all their Leathern Shields too Itrongi
When only arm’d with Noise and Nails,
The Female Silk-worms ride the Males,
Transform’em into Rams and Goats,
Like Sirens with their charming Notes
Sweet as a Screech Owl's Serenade,
Or those enchanting Murmurs made

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By th' Husband Mandrake and the Wife,
Both Bury'd like themselves ) Alive.

Quoth he, These Reasons are but Strains
Of wanton, over-heated Brains,
Which Ralliers in their Wit or Drink,
Do rather wheedle with, than think,
Man was not Man in Paradise,
Until he was Created twice,
And had his better half, his Bride,
Carv'd from th' Original, his Side,
T' amend: his natural Defects,
And perfect his recruited Sex;
Inlarge his Breed, at onee, and leffen
The Pains and Labour of Increasing,
By changing them for other Cares,
As by his dry’d-up Paps appears ;
His Body, that ftupendious Frame,
Of all the World the Anagram,
Is of two equal Parts compact,
In Shape and Symmetry exact.
Of which the Left and Female fide
Is to the Manly Right a Bride,

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