RULES FOR BEHAVIOUR, DRAWN UP BY THE INDIGENT PHILOSOPHER IF you be a rich man, you may enter the room with three loud hems, march deliberately up to the chimney, and turn your back to the fire. If you be a poor man, I would advise you to fhrink into the room as fast as you can, and place your, self, as usual, upon the corner of a chair in a re mote corner. WHEN you are defired to fing in company, I would advise you to refuse; for, it is a thoufand to one but that you torment us with affectation, ignorance of musick, or a bad voice. If you be young, and live with an old man, I would advise you not to like gravy; I was dif inherited myself for liking gravy. DON'T laugh much in publick; the spectators that are not as merry as you, will hate you, either because they envy your happiness, or fancy themselves the fubject of your mirth. RULES FOR RAISING THE DEVIL, TRANSLATED FROM THE LATIN OF DANEUS DE SORTIARIIS, A WRITER COTEMPORARY THE perfon who defires to raise the Devil, is to facrifice a dog, a cat, and a hen, all of his He is to fwear an own property, to Beelzebub. eternal eternal obedience, and then to receive a mark in fome unfeen place, either under the eye-lid or in the roof of the mouth, inflicted by the devil himfelf. Upon this, he has power given him over three fpirits; one for earth, another for air, and a third for the fea. Upon certain times, the devil holds an affembly of magicians, in which each is to give an account of what evil he has done, and what he wishes to do. At this af fembly he appears in the shape of an old man, or often like a goat with large horns. They, upon this occafion, renew their vows of obedience; and then form a grand dance in honour of their falfe deity. The devil inftructs them in every method of injuring mankind, in gathering poifons, and of ridingy upon occafion, through the air. He fhows them the whole method, upon examination, of giving evalive afwere. His fpirits have power to affume the form of angels of light, and there is but one method of detecting them, viz. to ask them, in proper form, What method is the most certain to propagate the faith over all the world? To this they are not permitted by the Superior Power to make a falfe reply; nor are they willing to give the true one; wherefore they continue filent, and are thus detected. ESSAY X. THOUGH naturally penfive, yet I am fond of gay company, and take every opportunity of thus difmiffing the mind from duty. From this motive, I am often found in the centre of a crowd; and wherever pleasure is to be fold, am always a purchafer. In thofe places, without being remarked by any, I join in whatever goes forward, work my paffions into a fimilitude of frivo. lous earneftnefs, fhout as they shout, and condemn as they happen to disapprove. A mind thus funk for a while below its natural ftandard, is qualified for ftronger flights, as thofe first retire who would fpring forward with greater vigour. ATTRACTED by the ferenity of the evening, a friend and I lately went to gaze upon the com pany in one of the publick walks near the city. Here we fauntered together for fome time, either praising the beauty of fuch as were handfome, or the dreffes of fuch as had nothing else to recommend them. We had gone thus deliberately forward for some time, when my friend ftopping on a fudden, caught me by the elbow, and led me out of the publick walk; I could perceive, by the quicknefs of his pace, and by his frequently looking behind, that he was attempting to avoid fomebody who followed. We now turned to the right, then to the left; as we went forward, he ftill went fafter, but in vain ; the perfon whom he attempted to efcape, hunted us through every doubling, and gained upon us each each moment; fo that, at laft, we fairly stood ftill, refolving to face what we could not avoid. OUR purfuer foon came up, and joined us with all the familiarity of an old acquaintance. "My "dear Charles," cried he, fhaking my friend's hand, "where have you been hiding this half "century? Pofitively I had fancied you were 66 gone down to cultivate matrimony, and your eftate in the country." During the reply, I had an opportunity of furveying the appearance of our new companion. His hat was pinched up with peculiar fmartnefs; his looks were pale, thin, and fharp; round his neck he wore a broad black ribbon, and in his bofom a buckle ftudded with glass; his coat was trimmed with tarnished twift; he wore by his fide a fword with a black hilt; and his stockings of filk, though newly washed, were grown yellow by long fervice. I was fo much engaged with the peculiarity of his drefs, that I attended only to the latter part of my friend's reply; in which he complimented Mr. Tibbs on the tafte of his clothes, and the bloom in his countenance. Pfha, pfha, Charles," cried the figure, “no "more of that, if you love me; you know I hate "flattery; on my foul I do; and yet, to be sure, an intimacy with the great will improve one's "appearance, and a course of venifon will fatten ; "and yet, faith I defpise the great as much as 66 you do; but there are a great many damned "honeft fellows among them; and we must not " quarrel with one half, because the other wants "breeding. If they were all fuch as my Lord "Mudler, one of the most good-natured crea "tures that ever squeezed a lemon, I should my 1 "felf "felf be among the number of their admirers. "I was yesterday to dine at the Duchefs of Pic"cadilly's. My Lord was there. "Ned," fays " he to me," Ned," fays he, " I'll hold gold "to filver, I can tell where you were poaching "laft night.""Poaching, my Lord," fays I; "faith you have miffed already; for I ftaid at “home, and let the girls poach for me. That's "my way: I take a fine woman as fome animals "do their prey; ftand ftill, and fwoop they fall "into my mouth." "An, Tibbs, thou art an happy fellow," cried my companion, with looks of infinite pity, "I "hope your fortune is as much improved as your "understanding, in fuch company." "Improv"ed?" replied the other; 66 you fhall know" but let it no go farther-a great fecret--five "hundred a year to begin with. My Lord's "word of honour for it. His Lordship took me "down in his own chariot yesterday, and we had "a tête-a-tête dinner in the country, where we "talked of nothing else." "I fancy you for got, Sir," cried I," you told us but this mo"ment of your dining yesterday in town." "Did "I fay fo?" replied he coolly. "To be fure, "if I faid fo, it was fo.-Dined in town? egad, "now I do remember I did dine in town; but "I dined in the country too: for, you must "know, my boys, I eat two dinners. By the "by, I am grown as nice as the devil in my "eating. I'll tell you a pleafant affair about "that we were a felect party of us to dine at "Lady Grogram's, an affected piece; but let it "go no farther-a fecret:-Well, fays I, I'll hold a thousand guineas, and fay done firft, "that |