own face; and, though there happens to be no"likeness, a countefs offered me a hundred for "its fellow: I refufed her, for, hang it, that "would be mechanical, you know.

THE wife, at laft, made her appearance; at once a flattern and a coquet; much emaciated,. but ftill carrying the remains of beauty. She made twenty apologies for being feen in fuch an odious difhabille, but hoped to be excufed, as thehad ftaid out all night at Vauxhall Gardens with the Countefs, who was exceffively fond of the horns. "And indeed, my dear," added the, turning to her husband, "his Lordship drank your

health in a bumper." "Poor Jack," cries he, "a dear good-natured creature, I know he loves "me; but I hope, my dear, you have given or

ders for dinner; you need make no great pre"parations neither, there are but three of us; "fomething elegant, and little will do; a turbot,. "an ortolan, or.a-"" Or what do you think, my dear," interrupts the wife, "of a nice pret. "ty bit of ox-cheek, piping hot, and dreffed " with a little of my own fauce?"-"The very "thing," replies he; it will eat beft with "fome smart bottled beer; but be sure to let us "have the fauce his Grace was fo fond of. I "hate your immenfe loads of meat; that is country all over; extreme difgufting to those who are in the least acquainted with high life.”

66

By this time my curiofity began to abate, and my appetite to increase: the company of fools may at firft make us fmile, but at last never fails of rendering us melancholy. I therefore pretended to recollect a prior engagement, and, after having

D 3

having fhown my refpect to the house, by giving the old fervant a piece of money at the door, took my leave; Mr. Tibbs affuring me, that dinner, if I ftaid, would be ready at least in less than two hours.

ESSAY

XII.

As it hath been obferved that few are better qualified to give others advice, than those who have taken the leaft of it themselves; fo in this refpect I find myself perfectly authorized to offer mine; and must take leave to throw together a few obfervations upon that part of a young man's conduct on his entering into life, as it is called.

THE moft ufual way among young men who have no refolution of their own, is firft to ask one friend's advice, and follow it for fome time; then to afk advice of another, and turn to that; so of a third, still unsteady, always changing. How ever, every change of this nature is for the worfe: people may tell you of your being unfit for fome peculiar occupations in life; but heed them not: whatever employment you follow with perfeverance and affiduity, will be found fit for you; it will be your fupport in youth, and comfort in age. In learning the useful part of every profeffion, very moderate abilities will fuffice: great abilities are generally, obnoxious to the poffeffors. Life has been compared to a race; but the allufion fill improves, by observing, that the most swift are ever the most apt to ftray from the course.

To

To know one profeffion only, is enough for one man to know; and this, whatever the profeffors may tell you to the contrary, is foon learned. Be contented, therefore, with one good employment; for if you understand two at a time,, people will give you business in neither.

A CONJURER and a taylor once happened to converfe together. "Alas!" cries the taylor, "what an unhappy poor creature am 1! If peo"ple ever take it into their heads to live with"out clothes, I am undone; I have no other

trade to have recourfe to." "Indeed, friend, "I pity you fincerely," replies the conjurer; "but, thank heaven, things are not quite, fo "bad with me: for if one trick fhould fail, I "have an hundred tricks more for them yet. "However, if at any time you are reduced to"beggary, apply to me, and I will relieve you." A famine overfpread the land: the taylor madea fhift to live, becaufe his cuftomers could not be without clothes; but the poor conjurer, with all his hundred tricks, could find none that had money to throw away: It was in vain that he promised to eat fire, or to vomit pins; no fingle creature would relieve him, till he was at last obliged to beg from the very taylor whofe calling, he had formerly defpifed..

THERE are no obstructions more fatal to fortune. than pride and refentment. If you must refent injuries at all, at leaft fupprefs your indignation till you become rich, and then fhow away. The refentment of a poor man is like the efforts of a harmless infect to fting; it may get him crushed, but cannot defend him. Who values that anger: which is confumed only in empty menaces? D. 4

ONCE

ONCE upon a time a goofe fed its young by a pond-fide; and a goofe in fuch circumstances, is always extremely proud and exceffively punctilious. If any other animal, without the leaft defign to offend, happened to pass that way, the goofe was immediately at it. The pond, the faid, was her's, and she would maintain her right in it, and fupport her honour, while fhe had a bill to hifs, or a wing to flutter. In this manner fhe drove away ducks, pigs, and chickens; nay, even the infidious cat was feen to fcamper. A lounging maftiff, however, happened to pafs by, and thought it no harm if he should lap a little of the water, as he was thirsty. The guardian goofe flew at him like a fury, pecked at him with her beak, and flapped him with her feathers. The dog grew angry, and had twenty times a mind to, give her a fly fnap; but fuppreffing his indignation, because his master was nigh," A pox take thee, cries he, "for a fool, fure thofe who have nei"ther ftrength nor weapons to fight, at lea "fhould be civil." So faying, he went forward to the pond, quenched his thirft in fpite of the goofe, and followed his mafter.

ANOTHER obftruction to the fortune of youth is, that, while they are willing to take offence from none, they are alfo equally defirous of giving nobody offence. From hence they endeavour to please all, comply with every request, and attempt to fuit themfelves to every company; have no will of their own; but, like wax, catch every contiguous impreffion. By thus attempting to give univerfal fatisfaction, they at laft find themselves miferably disappointed to bring the generality of admirers on our fide, it is fufficient to attempt pleafing a very few.

A

A PAINTER of eminence was once refolved to finish a piece which should please the whole world. When, therefore, he had drawn a picture, in which his utmoft skill was exhaufted, it was expofed in the publick market-place, with directionsat the bottom, for every spectator to mark with a brush, that lay by, every limb and feature which feemed erroneous. The fpectators came, and, in general applauded; but each willing to show his talent at criticism, ftigmatifed whatever he thought proper. At evening, when the painter came, he was mortified to find the picture one univerfal blot; not a fingle stroke that had not the marks of disapprobation. Not fatisfied with this trial,. the next day he was refolved to try them in a different manner; and, expofing his picture as before, defired that every fpectator would mark thofe beauties he approved or admired. The people complied, and the artift returning, found his picture covered with the marks of beauty: every ftrokethat had been yesterday condemned, now received the character of approbation. "Well," cries the painter," I now find, that the best way to "please all the world, is to attempt pleafing one half of it."

ESSAY

XIII.

INDULGENT Nature feems to have exempted! this ifland from many of thofe epidemick evils which are fo fatal in other parts of the world. A want of rain, for a few days beyond the expected feafon, in fome parts of the globe, fpreads famine,. defolation, and terror, over the whole conntry ;.