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DRAMATIS PERSONAE,

Lion EL
CoLoREl Old Boy
SIR. John Flow ERDALE
JEssa My

HARMAN

JEN KINs

DIANA
LADY MARY OLDBoy
JENNY
CLARISSA

Mr Incledon. Mr Munden. Mr Murray. Mr Betterton. Mr Clarke. Mr Townsend.

Mrs Mountain. Mrs Davenport. Mrs Martyr.

Madame Mara.

LIONEL AND CLARISSA.

ACT THE FIRST.

SCENE I,

A Chamber in ColoneL OLDBoy’s House: Colon EL OLDBoy is discovered at Breakfast, reading a Newspaper; at a little Distance from the Tea Table sits JENKINs; and, on the opposite Side, DIANA, who appears playing upon a Harpsichord. A GIRL attending.

AIR.

Ah, how delightful the morning,
How sweet are the prospects it yields 1
Summer luxuriant adorning

The gardens, the groves, and the fields.

Col. O. Well said, o thank you, Dy. This, Master Jenkins, is the way I make my daughter entertain me every morning at breakfast. Come here, and kiss me, you slut, come here, and kiss me, you baggage.

Diana. Lord, papa, you call one such names

Col. O. A fine girl, Master Jenkins, a devilish fine girl! she has got my eye to a twinkle. There’s fire for you—spirit!—I design to marry her to a duke : how much money do you think a duke would expect with such a wench * Jenk. Why, Colonel, with submission, I think there is no occasion to go out of your own county here; we have never a duke in it, I believe, but we have many an honest gentleman, who, in my opinion, might deserve the young lady. Col. O. So, you would have me marry Dy to a country’squire, eh? How say you to this, Dy? would not you rather be married to a duke 2 Diana. So my husband's a rake, papa, I don’t care what he is.' Col. O. A rake! you damned confounded little baggage why, you would not wish to marry a rake, would you ? So her husband is a rake, she does not care what he is Ha! has has ha hal Diana. Well, but listen to me, papa–When you go out with your gun, do you take any pleasure in shooting the poor tame ducks and chickens in your yard? No, the partridge, the pheasant, the woodcock, are the game; there is some sport in bringing them down, because they are wild; and it is just the same with a husband or a lover. I would not waste powder and shot to wound one of your sober, pretty-behaved gentlemen; but to hit a libertine, extravagant, mad-cap fellow, to take him upon the wing— Col. O. Do you hear her, Master Jenkins 2 Ha! hall hal Jenk. Well, but good Colonel, what do you say to my worthy and honourable patron here, Sir John Flowerdale He has an estate of eight thousand pounds a-year, as well-paid rents as any in the kingdom, and but one only daughter to enjoy it; and yet he is willing, you see, to give this daughter to your SOIl. Diana. Pray, Mr Jenkins, how does Miss Clarissa, and our university friend, Mr Lionel 2 That is the

only grave young man I ever liked, and the only handsome one I ever was acquainted with, that did not make love to me. Col. O. Ay, Master Jenkins, who is this Lionel ? They say, he is a damned witty, knowing fellow; and egad, I think him well enough for one brought up in a college. Jenk. His father was a general officer, a particular friend of Sir John’s; who, like many more brave men, that live and die in defending their country, left little else than honour behind him. Sir John sent this young man, at his own expense, to Oxford. Diana. The last time I was at your house, he was teaching Miss Clarissa mathematics and philosophy. Lord, what a strange brain I have If f was to sit down to distract myself with such studies— Col. O. Go, hussy, let some of your brother's rascals inform their master that he has been long enough at his toilet; here is a message from Sir John Flowerdale—You a brain for mathematics, indeed! We shall have women wanting to head our regiments tomorrow or next day. Diana. Well, papa, and suppose we did I believe, in a battle of the sexes, you men would hardly get the better of us.

AIRs

To rob them of strength, when wise nature thought fit,
By women to still do her duty, 3.

Instead of a sword, she endued them with wit,
And gave them a shield in their beauty.

Sound, sound the trumpet, both seves to arms,
Our tyrants at once, and protectors 1

We quickly shall see whether courage or charms
Decide for the Helens or Hectors. [Exit.

Col. O. Well, Master Jenkins' don’t you think now that a nobleman, a duke, an earl, or a marquis, might be content to share his title—I say, you understand me—with a sweetener of thirty or forty thousand pounds, to pay off mortgages 2 Besides, there’s a prospect of my whole estate; for I dare swear her brother will never have any children.

Jenk. I should be concerned at that, Colonel, when there are two such fortunes to descend to his heirs, as yours and Sir John Flowerdale’s.

Col. O. Why, look you, Master Jenkins, Sir John Flowerdale is an honest gentleman; we have been neighbours time out of mind; and if he and I have an odd dispute now and then, it is not for want of a cordial esteem at bottom. He is going to marry his daughter to my son; she is a beautiful girl, an elegant girl, a sensible girl, a worthy girl, and—a word in your ear—damn me if I a'n't very sorry for her.

Jenk. Sorry, Colonel ! w

Col. O. Ay—between ourselves, Master Jenkins, my son won’t do.

Jenk. How do you mean *

Col. O. I tell you, Master Jenkins, he won’t do— he is not the thing, a prig–At sixteen years old, or thereabouts, he was a bold, sprightly boy, as you should see in a thousand; could drink his pint of port, or his bottle of claret—now he mixes all his wine with water.

Jeik. Oh! if that be his only fault, Colonel, he will ne'er make the worse husband, I'll answer for it.

Col. O. You know my wife is a woman of quality —I was prevailed upon to send him to be brought up by her brother, Lord Jessamy, who had no children of his own, and promised to leave him an estate-he has got the estate, indeed, but the fellow has, taken his lordship's name for it. Now, Master Jenkins, I

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