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since that's the name you chuse to be called by, I have a good mind to knock you
down! Jess. Knock me down, Colonel! What do you mean? I must tell you, sir, this is a language to which I have not been accustomed; and, if you think proper to continue to repeat it, I shall be under a necessity of quitting your house!
Col. o. Quitting my house!
Col. 0. Why, sir, am not I your father, sir, and have not I a right to talk to you as I like? I will, sirrah! But, perhaps, I mayn't be your father, and I hope not. Lady M. O. Heavens and earth, Mr Oldboy!
Col. 0. What's the matter, madam? I mean, madam, that he might have been changed at nurse, madam; and I believe he was.
Jess. Huh! huh! huh !
Col. 0. Do you laugh at me, you saucy jackanapes!
Lady M. O. Who's there? somebody bring me a chair. Really, Mr Oldboy, you throw my weakly frame into such repeated convulsions--but I see your aim ; you want to lay me in my grave,
will very soon have that satisfaction.
Col. 0. I can't bear the sight of him.
Lady M. O. Open that window, give me air, or I shall faint.
Jess. Hold, hold, let me tie a handkerchief about my neck first. This cursed sharp north wind-Antoine, bring down my muff.
Col. O. Ay, do, and his great coat.
hear the puppy Jess. Will you give me leave to ask you one ques. tion?
Col. 0. I don't know whether I will or not.
Jess. I should be glad to know, that's all, what single circumstance in my conduct, carriage, or figure, you can possibly find fault with-Perhaps I may be brought to reform-Pr'ythee, let me hear from your own mouth, then, seriously, what it is you do like, and what it is you do not like?
Col. O. Hum !
Zounds, sir ! then I'll tell you, without any jest, The thing of all things, which I hate and detest;
A coxcomb, a fop,
A dainty milk-sop;
A thing full of prate,
French powder-puff :
Jess. What's the matter with the Colonel, madam; does your ladyship know?
Lady M. O. Heigho! don't be surprised, my dear; it was the same thing with my late dear brother, Lord Jessamy; they never could agree: that good-natured, friendly soul, knowing the delicacy of my constitution, has often said, Sister Mary, I pity you.
Jes. I think he ought to be proud of me: I bea
lieve there's many a duke, nay prince, who would esteem themselves happy in having such a son
Lady M. 0. Yes, my dear; but your sister was always your father's favourite : he intends to give her a prodigious fortune, and sets his heart upon seeing her a woman of quality.
Jess. He should wish to see her look a little like a gentlewoman first. When she was in London last winter, I am told she was taken notice of by a few
But she wants air, mannerLady M. O. Well, my dear, I must go and dress myself, though I protest I am fitter for my bed than my coach. And condescend to the Colonel a littleDo, my dear, if it be only to obligc your mamma.
A Study in Sir John FLOWERDALE's House; two
Chairs and a Table, with Globes and Mathematical Instruments.
Immortal pow'rs protect me,
Relieve a heart opprest :
And let me, let me rest.
Jenny. My dear lady, what ails you?
Clar. Nothing, Jenny, nothing.
Jenny. Pardon me, madam, there is something ails you indeed. Lord! what signifies all the grandeur and riches in this world, if they can't procure one content. I am sure it vexes me to the heart, so it does, to see such a dear, sweet, worthy young lady as you are, pining yourself to death.
Clar. Jenny, you are a good girl, and I am very much obliged to you for feeling so much on my account; but in a little time, I hope, I shall be easier.
Jenny. Why, now, here to-day, madam, for sartain you ought to be merry to-day, when there's a fine gentleman coming to court you; but, if you like any one else better, I am sure, I wish you had him, with all my soul.
Clar. Suppose, Jenny, I was so unfortunate, as to like a man without my father's approbation ; would you wish me married to him ?
Jenny. I wish you married to any one, madam, that could make you happy,
Jenny. Madam! Madam! yonder's Sir John and Mr Lionel on the terrace ; I believe they are coming up here. Poor dear Mr Lionel, he does not seem to be in over great spirits either. To be sure, madam, it's no business of mine; but, I believe, if the truth was known, there are those in the house, who would give more than ever I shall be worth, or any the likes of me, to prevent the marriage of a sartain person that shall be nameless.
Clar. What do you mean? I don't understand your
Jenny. Lauk ! Madam, do you think, when Mr Lionel's a clergyman, he'll be obliged to cut off his hair? I'm sure it will be a thousand pities, for it is the sweetest colour, and looks the nicest put up in a queue.
Clar. I'm going into my dressing-room-It seems then Mr Lionel is a great favourite of yours; but pray, Jenny, have a care how you talk in this manner to any one else.
Jenny. Me talk ! Madam, I thought you knew me better ; and, my dear lady, keep up your spirits. I'm sure I have dressed you to-day as nice as hands and pins can make you.
I'm but a poor servant, 'tis true, ma'anz ;
In grief would I sit? The dickens a bit ;
To find what my liking could hit.
et in case a young man
In my fancy there ran ;
But if I had regard,
It should go very hard,
follow my own inclinations. [Exeunt.
Enter SIR JOHN FLOWERDALE and LIONEL.
Sir J. F. Indeed, Lionel, I will not hear of it. What! to run from us all of a sudden, this
and at such a time too ; the eve of my daughter's wedding, I may
call it; when your company must be dou. bly agreeable, as well as necessary, to us! I am sure you have no studies at present, that require your attendance at Oxford: I must, therefore, insist on your putting such thoughts out of your head.
Lionel. Upon my word, sir, I have been so long from the university, that it is time for me to think of returning. It is true, I have no absolute studies; but,