Abusive Nabal ow'd his forfeit life,
To the wise conduct of a prudent wife;
Heroic Judith, as old Hebrews show,
Preserv'd the Jews, and slew the Assyrian foe:
At Hester's suit, the persecuting sword

Was sheathed, and Israel lived to bless the Lord.
Be charm'd with virtuous joys, and sober life,
And try that Christian comfort, call'd a wife.

THE BUMPKIN AND THE STABLE-KEEPER

A TALE.

YOUNG Ned, a sort of clownish beau, one day,
Quick to a livery-stable hied away,
To look among the nags;

A journey in the country he was going,
And wanted to be mounted well, and knowing;
And make among his bumpkin kin his brags.
The rogue in horses shew'd him many a hack,
And swore that better never could be mounted;
But still young Ned at hiring one was slack,
And more or less their make and shape he scouted.
"A gentlemanly steed I want, to cut a shine,
So that I may be dashing call'd, and fine,
And set relations, friends, acquaintance, staring-
From London to look vulgar, there's no bearing."
"True," quoth the jockey, with attentive bow,
And look'd his customer quite through and through,
"I see the case, indeed, exactly now,

And have a horse that to a T will do ;"
He found the cash was plenty, and all ready,
And mounted to his utmost wishes Neddy.
Sarcastically muttering, as he rode off,
"At thee the natives cannot fail to scoff;
So far, most proper 'tis indeed,

That thou should'st have a handsome steed;
For where two animals a travelling hie,
One should be gentlemanly by the bye."

THE YORKSHIREMAN AND HIS FAMILY.

Recited by Mr. Mathews, in his Mail Coach
Adventures.

A YORKSHIREMAN saluted the guard of the coach with "I say, Mr. Guard, have you a gentleman for Lunnun in coach ?" "How should I know ?" said the guard. "Well," said he, "I am ganging about four miles whoam, and I'll gang inside if you please, and then I can find him out mysen." On being admitted into the coach, when seated, he addressed himself to the person opposite him and said, " Pray, sir, ay'nt you for Lunnun ?" "Yes," said the gentleman. "Pray, sir, ay'nt you summit at singing line?" "What makes you ask?" said the gentleman. "I hope no defence," said he ;"why, sir, you mun know, I'm building a mill, and in about three weeks I mean to have a sort of housewarming; and, as we are very musical in our partsI plays on fiddle at church mysen, and my brother plays on a great long thing like a horse's leg painted with a piece of brass crook stuck in the end, and puffs away like a pig in a fit; and, as we have a vast of music meetings, and those sort of things-I should like to open my mill with a tory rory, and wanted to ax you to come and sing at it."

He then related a family anecdote :-"You mun know, sir, that my father died all on a sudden like, and never gave any body notice he was going to die, and he left his family in complete profusion; and when I found he was dead, as I was eldest son, I thought I had a right to have all the money. I told neighbour so: but, he said, that though I was eldest son, I had no right to all the brass; but I said, that I was not only the eldest, but handsomest into the bargain, for you never see'd five such ugly, carroty-headed devils among any litter of pigs, as my five brothers and sisters; and, as I found they wanted to diddle me out of my internal estate, I was determined to take the

law at top of the regicide." "And you applied to counsel no doubt," said the gentleman. "Na, I did'nt," said he, "for I do'nt know him. I went to one Lawyer Lattitat and paid him six and eight-pence, all in good half-pence, who wrote me down my destructions." The gentleman read his destructions, as he called them, which ran as follows: "You must go to the Temple and apply to a civilian, and tell him that your father has died intestate, or without will; that he has left five children, all infantine, besides yourself; and that you are come to know if you can't be his executor." Well," said the gentleman, "what did you do?" "Why sir," said he, "I went to the Temple, and knocked at the door, and the gentleman cum'd out at door himsen; and I said, Pray, sir, ar'nt you a silly villian? and he ax'd me if I were cum'd to insult him; and I said, Yes, I partly cum'd on purpose. I cum to insult you, to know what I am to do, for my feyther has died detested and against his will; he has left five young infidels besides mysen, and. I've cum'd to know, if I can't be his executioner.

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NOBODY.

SURE Nobody's a wicked devil,
The author of consummate evil;
In breaking dishes, basons, glasses,
In stealing, hiding-he surpasses.
Behold the punch-bowl crack'd, around,
For weeks the ladle was not found;
How crack'd-'twas Nobody that did it ;
How misplaced-Nobody hid it.

When in the school sits Dr. Pedant,
He calls to him, that is, the head in't,

"Who made that noise? who let his tongue stir ?"

Nobody, sir," exclaims the youngster.

The governess some mischief spies out,
And, in a passion, thus she cries out-

"Hey day! a pretty litter, this is! Whose doing, pray? come, tell me, misses! Whose doing?" she repeats with fury; "Nobody's, madam, I assure you.' The lady of the house believes A guest her servant maid receives, A thief, perhaps, who shams the lover, The windows' fastenings to discover: She hears a foot-yes, hears it plain, And calls" Who's there?" but calls in vain ; She lists-so anxious she to know, And hears a stranger's voice below, "Why, Jane, who is it you've got there!" "Lord, madam-Nobody, I swear, As everybody can declare;"

"I'm sure somebody it must be,"
Nobody, madam-come and see;"
She goes, but all in vain she peeps,
For anywhere Nobody creeps.
She finds her gravy soup diminished:
Hey day! who these provisions took ?"
Nobody, ma'am," rejoins the cook!
"Impossible! what do you mean ?"
Why then the cat it must have been."
Thus nobody is never seen

66

66

In anybody's shape but that

Of a domestic dog or cat.

This Nobody, how strange, I think,

Can walk and talk, can eat and drink ;—

But male or female? why, I ween,
The gender must be Epicene,
An old offender, it appears,

Who's lived above a thousand years;
For Polyphemus had his odd eye
Knock'd out by him-I mean Nobody.

THE ORPHAN BOY.

STAY, Lady, stay, for mercy's sake,
And hear a helpless orphan's tale;
Ah! sure my looks must pity wake,
'Tis want that makes my cheeks so pale!
Yet I was once a mother's pride,

And my brave father's hope and joy ;
But in the Nile's proud fight he died,
And I am now an Orphan Boy!
Poor foolish child-how pleas'd was I,
When news of Nelson's victory came :
Along the crowded street to fly,

And see the lighted windows flame !

To force me home my mother sought,
She could not bear to see my joy:
For with my father's life 'twas bought,
And made me a poor Orphan Boy!
The people's shouts were long and loud,
My mother, shuddering, clos'd her ears!
Rejoice! rejoice! still cried the crowd,
My mother answer'd with her tears!
Why are you crying thus, said I,

While others laugh and shout for joy?
She kiss'd me, and with such a sigh,
She call'd me her poor Orphan Boy!

What is an Orphan Boy? I said,

When suddenly she gasp'd for breath, And her eyes clos'd-I shriek'd for aid, But, ah! her eyes were closed in death!

My hardships since I will not tell;
But now no more a parent's joy:
Ah! Lady, I have learn'd too well
What 'tis to be an Orphan Boy!