Sir Pet. Oons! what a fury! Lady Teaz. A malicious creature, indeed! Sir Pet. What! not for her last wish? Lady Teaz. Oh, no! Sir Oliv. Well, sir, and what have you to say now? Jos. Surf. Sir, I am so confounded, to find that Lady Sneerwell could be guilty of suborning Mr. Snake in this manner, to impose on us all, that I know not what to say: however, lest her revengeful spirit should prompt her to injure my brother, I had certainly better follow her directly. For the man who attempts to [Exit. Sir Pet. Moral to the last! Sir Oliv. Ay, and marry her, Joseph, if you can. vinegar !—egad you'll do very well together. Oil and Row. I believe we have no more occasion for Mr. Snake at present? Snake. Before I go, I beg pardon once for all, for whatever uneasiness I have been the humble instrument of causing to the parties present. Sir Pet. Well, well, you have made atonement by a good deed at last. Snake. But I must request of the company, that it shall never be known. Sir Pet. Hey! what the plague! are you ashamed of having done a right thing once in your life? Snake. Ah, sir, consider-I live by the badness of my character; and, if it were once known that I had been betrayed into an honest action, I should lose every friend I have in the world. Sir Oliv. Well, well-we'll not traduce you by saying anything in your praise, never fear. [Exit SNAKE. Sir Pet. There's a precious rogue! Lady Teaz. See, Sir Oliver, there needs no persuasion now to reconcile your nephew and Maria. Sir Oliv. Ay, ay, that's as it should be, and, egad, we'll have the wedding to-morrow morning. Chas. Surf. Thank you, dear uncle. Sir Pet. What, you rogue! don't you ask the girl's consent first? Chas. Surf. Oh, I have done that a long time—a minute ago-and she has looked yes. Mar. For shame, Charles !-I protest, Sir Peter, there has not been a word Sir Oliv. Well, then, the fewer the better; may your love for each other never know abatement. Sir Pet. And may you live as happily together as Lady Teazle and I intend to do! Chas. Surf. Rowley, my old friend, I am sure you congratulate me; and I suspect that I owe you much. Sir Oliv. You do, indeed, Charles. Sir Pet. Ay, honest Rowley always said you would refor. Chas. Surf. Why, as to reforming, Sir Peter, I'll make no promises, and that I take to be a proof that I intend to set about it. But here shall be my monitor-my gentle guide.Ah! can I leave the virtuous path those eyes illumine ? Though thou, dear maid, shouldst waive thy beauty's sway, Thou still must rule, because I will obey: An humble fugitive from Folly view, You can, indeed, each anxious fear remove, EPILOGUE. BY MR. COLMAN. SPOKEN BY LADY TEAZLE. [To the audience. [Exeunt omnes. her I, WHO was late so volatile and gay, Save money-when I just knew how to waste it} Must I then watch the early crowing cock, The melancholy ticking of a clock; In a lone rustic hall for ever pounded, With dogs, cats, rats, and squalling brats surrounded? (While good Sir Peter boozes with the squire,) Pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious town! And Lady Teazle's occupation's o'er ! All this I told our bard; he smiled, and said 'twas clear, I ought to play deep tragedy next year. Meanwhile he drew wise morals from his play, And in these solemn periods stalk'd away : "Bless'd were the fair like you; her faults who stopp'd, And closed her follies when the curtain dropp'd ! No more in vice or error to engage, Or play the fool at large on life's great stage." THE CRITIC; OR, A TRAGEDY REHEARSED. A DRAMATIC PIECE IN THREE ACTS. TO MRS. GREVILLE. MADAM,—In requesting your permission to address the following page to you, which, as they aim themselves to be critical, require every protection and allowance that approving taste or friendly prejudice can give them, I yet ventured to mention no other motive than the gratification of private friendship and esteem. Had I suggested a hope that your implied approbation would give a sanction to their defects, your particular reserve, and dislike to the reputation of critical taste, as well as of poetical talent, would have made you refuse the protection of your name to such a purpose. However, I am not so ungrateful as now to attempt to combat this disposi tion in you. I shall not here presume to argue that the present state of poetry claims and expects every assistance that taste and example can afford it; nor endeavour to prove that a fastidious concealment of the most clegant productions of judgment and fancy is an ill return for the possession of those endowments. Continue to deceive yourself in the idea that you are known only to be emin ly admired and regarded for the valuable qualities that attach private frie dships, and the graceful talents that adorn conversation. Enough of wha, you have written has stolen into full public notice to answer my purpose; and you will, perhaps, be the only person, conversant in elegant literature, who shall read this address and not perceive that by publishing your particular approbation of the following drama, I have a more interested object than to boast the true respect and regard with which I have the honour to be, Madam, your very sincere and obedient humble servant, R. B. SHERIDAN. DRAMATIS PERSONE. AS ORIGINALLY ACTED AT DRURY-LANE THEATRE IN 1779. SIR FRETFUL PLAGIARY Mr.Parsons. PUFF DANGLE SNEER. Mr. King. MR. HOPKINS SIGNOR PASTICCIO RI TORNELLO. MRS. DANGLE Mr.Delpini. SIGNORE PASTICCIO RITORNELLO Mr. Hop kins. Miss Field and the Miss Abrams, Scenemen, Musicians, and Servants. Mr. Kenny. HORSE DON FEROLO WHIS- Mr. Bannis KERANDOS BEEFEATER ter, jun. Mr. Wright. CONFIDANT. SECOND NIECE. Miss Kirby. Knights, Guards, Constables, Sentinels, Servants, Chorus, Rivers, Attendants, &c., &c. SCENE, LONDON: in DanGLE's House during the First Act, and throughout the rest of the Play in DRURY LANE THEATRE, PROLOGUE. BY THE HONOURABLE RICHARD FITZPATRICK. THE sister Muses, whom these realms obey, To seek the friendly refuge of the fan, Awhile behind that slight intrenchment stood, These sure no longer are the Muses' crimes! But some complain that, former faults to shun, The frantic hero's wild delirium past, Now insipidity succeeds bombast; So slow Melpomene's cold numbers creep, Here dulness seems her drowsy court to keep, And we are scarce awake, whilst you are fast asleep. Thalia, once so ill-behaved and rude, Reform'd, is now become an arrant prude; Retailing nightly to the yawning pit The purest morals, undefiled by wit! |