페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub

With jokes and cannon, in terrorem,
He march'd and drove 'em all before him.
Stick your keen penetrating probes
Through right and left hepatic lobes;
Although you pierce the diaphragm,

You need not care a single damn.

So Indians, when a captive's taken,
And they resolve to fry his bacon,
Their savage torture to refine,

First stick him full of splinter'd pine.

In fine, your worships will contrive
To leave not one vile wretch alive,
Except those dirty sons of

Whom nature meant to dig in ditches.

adversity, that others may be deterred by their exemplary fate, from infringing on our privileges, dignities, and immunities.

There can be nothing unmanly or improper in triumphing over a fallen enemy. For thus did Achilles insult Hector, Patroclus Sarpedon, and se will Dr. Caustic serve Perkins, when he has him fairly under foot.

But all who would not make most topping

Fellows to work in docks at Wapping,

Some way or other, Sirs, I’d have ye
Give a quick passport to old Davy.

But if with all this blood and thunder,
The stubborn blockheads won't knock under,
And e'en old women bravely wield

Their jordans like Achilles' shield;

No more with these our weapons dabble,
But raise a Lord-George-Gordon rabble;
Pour on the rogues, that they be undone,
The whole mobocracy of London 1

Come on, brave fellows, quick surround 'em ; With canes and cudgels punch and pound 'em; Brick-bats and broom-sticks, all together,

Like coblers hammering sides of leather.

Brave Belcher, Lee, Mendoza, Bourke,

Let loose your fists in this great work!

Here's fine amusement for your paws,
Without the dread of police laws.

Let not one Perkinite be found
Encumbering our British ground;
But keep on pelting, hanging, mauling,
Until old Beelzy's den they’re all in.

And I’ll be there and blow war's trumpet; Or with Death's kettle-drum I'll thump it, Till all’s “ confusion, worse confounded,’ Than e'er in Milton's hell abounded.

Thus, when the Spartans were in trouble, Tyrtaeus help'd them through their hobble, By singing songs, to raise their courage,

All piping hot, as pepper-porridge.

These are the methods of dead doing,”
By which we'll work the wizard's ruin;
And when with Satan all such trash is,

We'll rise, like Phoenix, on its ashes.

Now, Sirs, consent to my Petition,
And send these varlets to perdition;
So for your weal and welfare, post hic,

Will ever pray—

CHRISToPHER CAUSTIC.

[ocr errors][merged small]

(a) page 20–The interview with the Board of Longitude, adverted to in this Note, there is reason to believe is substantially true. Mr. S-, the unsuccessful applicant, could not, after the insult he received, by that pitiful offer of remuneration, be prevailed upon to reconstruct his instrument. Our poor countryman CHUR chMAN also, whose laborious life has been spent in the pursuit of discoveries relative to the Longitude, and whose investigations have been amply successful to merit the liberal protection of an institution, established with the professed views of the present one, can attest how far a poor but meritorious artist may confide in the liberality of either the Board of Longitude, or the gentlemen of the Trinity House. The Salary of the Clerkship of the Pells, alluded to in the latter part of the Note, which Mr. ADDINGto N, the Premier, gave to his own son, a child eleven years old, is about seven thousand pounds sterling per annum. The duties of this office are necessarily transacted by a nurse, who probably is rewarded by our young master with as liberal wages as many of the Curates of England receive. They for forty pounds per annum, discharge the duty of the Rector, whose tithes amount to three or four thousand, which he often most graciously condescends to bestow in running the race of not a Christian, but, a fox or a stag, and another species of races at New-Market. The Clerkship of the Pells, until Mr. Addington discovered otherwise, was always considered as justly belonging to some meritorious but worn-out and unrequited servant of the country. - - (b) page 25–In England the point of this would have been sufficiently evident by the mere emphasis on “Scotland,” which the italicising of the word imports; but as in America it is not generally known that for twelve pounds two shillings and sixpence, sterling, any creature can obtain in the Universities of Aberdeen and St. Andrews a diploma, which will dignify the possessor with a Doctor's Degree in Divinity, Law, or Physic, there would have been a wonder how that wiseacre, Dr. ANperson, came by his. These appendages to the names of a candidate in the trade of authorship, or in either of the pro

F

« 이전계속 »