Now, Sirs, consent to my PETITION, So for your weal and welfare, post hic, CHRISTOPHER CAUSTIC. ADDITIONAL NOTES TO THIS AMERICAN EDITION. (a) page 20.-The interview with the Board of Longitude, adverted to in this Note, there is reason to believe is substantially true. Mr. S, the unsuccessful applicant, could not, after the insult he received, by that pitiful offer of remuneration, be prevailed upon to reconstruct his instrument. Our poor countryman CHURCHMAN also, whose laborious life has been spent in the pursuit of discoveries relative to the Longitude, and whose investigations have been amply successful to merit the liberal protection of an institution, established with the professed views of the present one, can attest how far a poor but meritorious artist may confide in the liberality of either the Board of Longitude, or the gentlemen of the Trinity House. The Salary of the Clerkship of the Pells, alluded to in the latter part of the Note, which Mr. ADDINGTON, the Premier, gave to his own son, a child eleven years old, is about seven thousand pounds sterling per annum. The duties of this office are necessarily transacted by a nurse, who probably is rewarded by our young master with as liberal wages as many of the Curates of England receive. They for forty pounds per annum, discharge the duty of the Rector, whose tithes amount to three or four thousand, which he often most graciously condescends to bestow in running the race of-not a Christian, but, a fox or a stag, and another species of races at New-Market. The Clerkship of the Pells, until Mr. Addington discovered otherwise, was always considered as justly belonging to some meritorious but worn-out and unrequited servant of the country. (b) page 25-In England the point of this would have been sufficiently evident by the mere emphasis on "Scotland," which the italicising of the word imports; but as in America it is not generally known that for twelve pounds two shillings and sixpence, sterling, any creature can obtain in the Universities of Aberdeen and St. Andrews a diploma, which will dignify the possessor with a Doctor's Degree in Divinity, Law, or Physic, there would have been a wonder how that wiseacre, Dr. ANDERSON, came by his. These appendages to the names of a candidate in the trade of authorship, or in either of the pro fessions, are as necessary, in order to insure him success, as well as respect, in Europe, as tails to a Bashaw in Asia, and in both cases the degree of dignity supported, and respect claimed, is regulated alike by the number of each. A few years since, several Oxonians, who had beheld with an unkind aspect the inundation of these titled candidates for employ in all the professions, without the sacrifice of any of the study, time and expence, which are required of the students in the English universities, previous to the attainment of these insignia of merit, clubbed, and raised a sum sufficient to pay for three diplomas. Three of the long eared species of animals, vulgarly yclept JACKASSES, were then procured, and appropriate names given to each, as the Rev. Mr. Bray, Dr. Ear and 'Squire Sulkey. The CASH, accompanied by a recommendation of these three distinguished characters, attested by the party in the joke, was transmitted to the then Principal of Aberdeen University, and on the return of the mail, the three candidates were each raised in Law, Physic and Divinity, to a rank with Dr. ANDERSON. It may perhaps be useful however to add, for the informa tion of any of our countrymen, who may pant for the possession of these academic honors, in order to be on a par with the aforesaid Jackasses and Dr. Anderson, that a recent additional duty in England upon stamps, and on the postage of letters, will require them to remit as much as two shillings and some odd pence over the twelve pounds two shillings and sixpence, a circumstance, certainly much to be regretted. (c) page 29.-The satire in these lines, whether it aims at the very ridiculous deference paid to a certain class of the Escula pian fraternity, whom I shall term HYDROGNOSTICS, but whom the reader may, if he please, call "water-doctors," or at the abuse of the privilege of franking, in England, is perhaps as well founded as any other in the poem. Besides the famous Dr. MAYERSBACK here alluded to, who resides in London, there is another still more celebrated in Northamptonshire, who can scarcely write his own name, but who has already amassed a large fortune by practice in this line. Scarcely a post arrives which does not bring to these " Doctors" mány bottles for examination, and as no case is entered upon without that necessary preamble, a golden fee, the money collected is almost incredible. The abuse of the privilege of franking, so common among the heads of the departments, and those who, ex officio, have the right of conveying by post a packet of almost any size, had like to have met with a serious and effectual interruption, a few years since, if the following story related respecting the affair can be depended upon. An extraordinary Lusus Nature of the human species having occurred at Plymouth, the obstetric gentleman, into whose hands it fell, resolved to make a present of it to the Museum of an eminent anatomical professor in London. No immediate conveyance for it presenting, the commissioner of the Dock-Yard kindly undertook to relieve his embarrassment, by franking it up by post. For this purpose the child was made up into a parcel or packet (not a very small one to be sure) and directed for London. The weather growing warmer than was anticipated, our caput mortuum arrived at the General Post-Office in a condition rather resembling a caput vividum, for it soon produced a very lively effect on the olfactory nerves of all the clerks of the Post-Office. The Inspector of Franks, suspecting foul play, deemed it his duty to examine the contents of the parcel, when there was presented to the alarmed and astonished eyes of all around, a being of which they affirmed there did not exist the likeness either in Heaven above or on the Earth beneath. Some fled from alarm and some from stench, till the apartment was entirely deserted, except by old Jowler, a large mastiff that was kept as a guard to the office. Attracted by the scent, Jowler soon satisfied himself that the commodity, so savory to his smell, was nothing more nor less than a nice piece of dog'smeat, and of consequence was, bona fide, his property, so he quietly took it up in his mouth, and marched off with it for his breakfast. An action was afterwards brought against the Post-Office for the loss of the article in question, but as it was called a child in the declaration, it was successfully pleaded in reply that as a child, it could not be considered in any other light than a stage passenger, and as the stage coach and not the letter-bag was established for the accommodation and conveyance of passengersı the plaintiff was in fault for not sending the said passenger with other passengers in the stage. This defence was irresistible and the plaintiff, to his sore displeasure, was nonsuited. (d) page 37-The DUKE OF QUEENSBURY, whose sins, or the crim. con. list, like his age, amount to above fourscore and ten. (e) page 57-For the art here alluded to, see Pope's Dunciad, Book III. where several of the hero's of that poem are made to plunge for the prize into Fleet Ditch, a large sewer or drain, in the centre of London, which receives the contents of about a dozen slaughter houses, half as many markets, including Smithfield, and a very plentiful supply of certain other enriching streams, which are said to render the Thames water superior to any other in the world. Not so bold ANALL; with a weight of skull, • Furious he dives, precipitately dull; Whirlpools and storms his circling arms invest, • With all the weight of gravitation blest," &c. &c. (f) page 59 -The Institution here alluded to, although its acts are often dwelt upon in the Poem, is in no place sufficiently explained to enable the American reader fully to comprehend its nature. A short history of it, therefore may not be unac ceptable. Several philanthropic characters in London, chiefly those who had purchased the Tractors, conceiving that the discovery of Perkinism merited the patronage of an establishment, like that of the discovery of the Cow Pox, announced such an intention in the newspapers, and, at the same time, called a public meeting to take the proposed measure into consideration. Here the undertaking was unanimously resolved upon, and sub. scription opened to carry the proposed charity into effect. The list was soon honored with above an hundred subscribers, several with a donation of ten, and none, excepting one or two, less than one guinea for annual subscription. LORD RIVERS was elected President of the Society, and eleven other persons of distinction, among whom will be found GOVERNOR FRANKLIN, son of Dr. FRANKLIN, compose the list of Vice-Presidents. |