페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub

To chant the dulcified squeakissimo,22

And eke to trill the grand squallissimo.

By bare inspecting, though months alter,
A place where patient had made water,
I could divine, with skill unfailing,
Of what disorder he was ailing :

And you'll allow, sans hesitation,

On score of vast accommodation,

vixen y'clept Public Oftinion, I should rather prefer to have my discoveries rest on their own merits, than on the creditof even so great a man as Doctor Anderson

** And eke to trill the grand squallissimo

I anticipate the being idolized by amateurs of Italian operas for this my beautiful invention. Surely it must be allowed I have herein far exceeded even what my friend Doctor Anderson would Thave supposed possible. As soon as this my invention is made public (which shall take place whenever I have by patent, or parliamentary donation, secured to myself the emoluments thereunto belonging) John Bull may gratify his delicate taste for refined music, without the trouble and expence of importing from Italy those pretty things, whose delicious warblings compose the soul of trage melody.

That few discoveries this can equal,
When you have heard me through the sequel,

For bottled urine has, no doubt,
In public mails, been frank'd about;(c)
(A thing there must be mighty trouble in,)

To London as it were, from Dublin,”3

That such a man as Doctor Mayersbach,

(Such things took place not many years back) *

*3 To London, as it were, from Dublin.

Contemplate for a moment, gentlemen, the extreme inconvenience attending the present mode of conveying, for the purpose of medical scrutiny, the singular contents of these bottles, to and fro, from Dan to Beersheba. Besides our patients cannot all be Lord Lieutenants of Ireland. They cannot all enjoy the privilege of franking, per mail, all sorts of commodities, such as millstones and necklaces, bales of Irish linen and ladies slippers; and unless by particular act of parliament, allow

ing bottles of urine, like stamped almanacks, a free passage per mail, to any part of his majesty's *ominions, I confess I do not see how Dr. May

ersbach can exercise, so often as could be wished, his soothsaying sagacity on the precious contents of such bottles.

* Such things took place not many yearsback.

I was at the house of Dr. M. when the postman, be

Might view this uric oxyd's basis, *s
And rightly understand the cases.

éides the usual budget of letters, brought a huge bottle franked from Dublin Castle. I have particular satisfaction, however, in stating, for the information of those ladies and gentlemen who by the same mail may have received either love letters, or state letters, that I have no reason ob apprehend (as there was no apparent leakage or fissure in the bottle) that those letters were actually p—d upon. 25 uric oxyd's basis.

I wish it may not be inferred from my adopting the term Uric Oryd, that I propose to take any part in the controversy between Doctor Pearson and that blustering Fourcroy ; though I have no hesitation in asserting (in privato) that my countryman is right. But I would submit to any brother poet, who knows that

t Rhyme the rudder is of verses,

“By which, like ships, they steer their courses.” and whosometimes like myself, is non-plussed for: want of a proper expression to convey an important idea, whether there need be any other proof of the existence of the Uric Oxyd than the genteel gingle thereby introduced in this my incomparable poem, and the happy opportunity thereby afforded for mentioning an indelicate matter in so delicate a manner, that the most delicate fierson in existence, (myself for instance) may express the thing, and preserve his, or her cheek, as free from a blush as a snow-ball. Supposing I had said, ‘Lithic Acid,' as Scheele and Fourcroy would have had me, not a soul would have understood it,

But I've a plan by which our betters
May make a few drops on their letters; 26
And though it be but ‘monstrous little,'
I'll tell what ails them to a tittle.

And since I ought, as well as Jenner,
To have some pence to buy a dinner,
I shall solicit cash and thanks

From Parl'ment, for preventing franks.

Oft have I quench'd man's vital spark:
* The Soul's old cottage, cold and dark,
Again, in spite of Death, our grand ill,

Illum'd as one would light a candle.”

26 May make a few drops on their setters.

You will please, gentlemen, to take particular notice, that my mode of consecrating e-fist-olary favours intended the Esculapian fraternity, will effectually preclude the risk of any accident happening to a whole mail of letters, many of which are frequently neatly folded, and addressed to as modest and delicate persons as any in the kingdom.

27 Illum'd as one would light a candle.

In my younger days I lived on terms of intimacy with Doctor Franklin, highly honourable to both I've shewn a mode, in Latin thesis,

To pick man's frail machine to pieces,

parties, as it showed we were both men of discernment in choosing each a great man for his friend.

In a letter from that venerable sage, afterwards printed, (See Franklin's Works, p. 115, vol. ii. 3d edition) he told me that toads buried in sand, shut up in hollow trees, &c. would live forever, as it were ; and, among other things, informed me of certain curious facts about flies, which I will relate in his own words. “I have seen an instance of ‘common flies preserved in a manner somewhat ‘ similar. They had been drowned in Madeira ‘wine, apparently about the time when it was bot*tled in Virginia, to be sent to London. At the “opening of one of the bottles, at the house of a “friend where I was, three drowned flies fell into ‘the first glass which was filled. Having heard it “remarked that drowned flies were capable of be‘ing revived by the rays of the sun, I proposed “making the experiment upon these. They were “therefore exposed to the sun upon a sieve, which “had been employed to strain them out of the * wine. In less than three hours two of them be“gan by degrees to recover life. They commen“ced by some convulsive motions of the thighs, ‘and at length they raised themselves upon their * legs, wiped their eyes with their fore feet, beat ‘and brushed their wings with their hind feet, ‘and soon after began to fly, finding themselves ‘in Old England, without knowing how they came ‘thither. The third continued lifeless until sun

« 이전계속 »