Compar'd with Caustic, even as
A puff of hydrogenous gas→→

But I, in spite of my renown,
Alas! am harrass'd, hunted down;
Completely damn'd, the simple fact is,
By PERKINS'S METALLIC PRACTICE! 40

• Darwin at last resolves to list
Under this grand cosmogonist.
He too renounces his Creator,

And solves all sense from senseless matter;
Makes men start up from dead fish bones,
As old Deucalion did from stones;
Forms mortals quick as eyes could twinkle,
From lobster, crab, and periwinkle-
Oh Doctor! Change thy foolish motto,
Or keep it for some lady's grotto;

Else thy poor patients well may quake,

If thou can no more mend than make.

40 BY PERKINS'S METALLIC PRACTICE.

Here comes the HYDRA, which you Herculean gentlemen are requested to destroy; but the means, by which this great end is to be accomplished, will be fully pointed out in the succeeding Cantos.

Our should-be wise and learn'd societies
Are guilty of great improprieties,

In treating me in manner scandalous,
As if I were a very Vandal; thus

Determin'd, as I have no doubt,
My sun of genius to put out,

Which, once extinct, they think that so 'tis
Their glow-worm lights may claim some notice.

Such hum-drum heads and hollow hearts
Pretend, forsooth, t' encourage arts!

But that pretence, in every sense is,
The flimsiest of all pretences.

Those noble-spirited Macenasses

To me have shewn the greatest meannesses;
Have granted me for these things said all
Not one half-penny, nor a medal!!!

CANTO II.

CONJURATIONS!

ARGUMENT.

THE Bard proceeds like one that's striving
To practise Arnall's (e) art of diving;
Presents sublime and strange narrations
Of wizards, ghosts, and conjurations;
Next tours in Della Cruscan stile
Above old Homer, half a mile;
And flutters round in airy region,
Just like a wild-goose or a pigeon;
Fir'd with the theme of Haygarth's praises
Until his rapture fairly blazes:

Then in a duel shews more prowess,
Than Vandal that e'er was, or now is.

Now I'm a man so meek and humble,
I don't allow myself to grumble,
Am loth your patience thus to batter,
But starving is a serious matter! 4x

41 But starving is a serious matter!

Many a worthy London Alderman will most feelingly sigh a dolorous response to this pathetic complaint.

Another reason too, may't please ye,
Why thus I dare presumie to tease ye;
If you my wrongs should not redress,
We all must be in one sad mess! 42

The credit of our craft is waning,

Then rouse at this my

sad complaining ;

42 We all must be in one sad mess!

The sound is here a most correct echo to the sense; like the

Βη δ'ακεων παρα θινα πολυφλοίσβοιο θαλασσης

of HOMER; the

Quadrupedante putrem sonitu quatit ungula

campum,

of VIRGIL; the

Many a lusty thwack and bang,

of BUTLER;

And ten low words oft creep in one dull line, of POPE, &c. Indeed, gentlemen, I shall almost be tempted to pronounce that person a sorry sort of a simpleton, who does not see, or seem to see, the lengthened visage and hanging lip of our learned Esculapian Fraternity, depicted with the phiz-hitting pencil of a Hogarth, in these eight beautiful and appropriate monosyllables.