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of family different from the vulgar, for whom perhaps, is gone to seek you at the Tower, indeed nature serves very well. For this reason or Westminster Abbey, which is all the idea it has, at various times, been ungenteel to he has of London; and your faithful lover is see, to hear, to walk, to be in good health, probably cheapening a hunter, and drinking and to have twenty other horrible perfections strong beer, at the Horse and Jockey in of nature. 1) Nature indeed may do very well Smithfield. sometimes. It made you, for instance, and it then made something very lovely; and if you would suffer us of quality to give you the ton, you would be absolutely divine: but now -me-madam-me-nature never made such a thing as me.
Har. Why, indeed, I think your lordship has very few obligations to her.
Lady F. The whole set admirably disposed of! Har. Did not your lordship inform him where I was?
Lord T. Not I, 'pon honour, madam; that left to their own ingenuity to discover. Lady F. And pray, my lord, where in this town have this polite company bestowed
Lord T. Then you really think it's all my Lord T. They lodge, madam, of all places own? I declare now that is a mighty genteel in the world, at the Bull and Gate Inn, in compliment: nay, if you begin to flatter already, Holborn.
you improve apace. 'Pon honour, lady Free- Lady F. Ha, ha, ha! The Bull and Gate! love, I believe we shall make something of Incomparable! What, have they brought any hay or cattle to town?
her at last.
Lady F. No doubt on't. It is in your Lord T. Very well, lady Freelove, very lordship's power to make her a complete well indeed! There they are, like so many graziers; and there it seems they have learned that this lady is certainly in London.
woman of fashion at once.
Lord T. Hum! Why, ay— Har. Your lordship must excuse me. I am Har. Do, dear madam, send a card directly of a very tasteless disposition. I shall never to my father, informing him where I am, and bear to be carried out of nature. that your ladyship would be glad to see him Lady F. You are out of nature now, Har- here. For my part I dare not venture into riot! I am sure no woman but yourself ever his presence, till you have in some measure objected to being carried among persons of pacified him; but for heaven's sake, desire quality. Would you believe it, my lord! here him not to bring that wretched fellow along has she been a whole week in town, and with him. would never suffer me to introduce her to a rout, an assembly, a concert, or even to court, or the opera; nay, would hardly so much as mix with a living soul that has visited me.
Lord T. No wonder, madam, you do not adopt the manners of persons of fashion, when you will not even honour them with your company. Were you to make one in our little coteries, we should soon make you sick of the boors and bumkins of the horrid country. By-the-by, I met a monster at the ridinghouse this morning who gave me some intelligence, shat will surprise you, concerning your family.
Har. What intelligence?
Lord T. Wretched fellow! Oho! Courage, Milor Trinket!
[Aside. Lady F. I'll send immediately. Who's there?
Lady F. How abominably unlucky this is! Well, then, show him into my dressingroom, I will come to him there. [Exit Servant.
Lord T. Lady Freelove! no engagement, I hope? We won't part with you, 'pon bonour. Lady F. The worst engagement in the world. A pair of musty old prudes! lady Formal and miss Prate.
Lord T. O the beldams! As nauseous as ipecacuanha, 'pon honour.
Lady F. Who was this monster, as your lordship calls him? a curiosity, I dare say. Lord T. This monster, madam, was formerly my head groom, and had the care of all my running horses; but growing most abominably surly and extravagant, as you know all these Lady F. Lud, lud! what shall I do with fellows do, I turned him off; and ever since them? Why do these foolish women come my brother, Slouch Trinket, has had the care troubling me now? I must wait on them in of my stud, rides all my principal matches the dressing-room, and you must excuse the himself, andcard, Harriot, till they are gone. I'll dispatch Har. Dear, my lord, don't talk of your them as soon as I can, but heaven knows groom and your brother, but tell me the when I shall get rid of them, for they are Do you know any thing of my father? both everlasting gossips! though the words Lord T. Your father, madam, is now in come from her ladyship one by one, like town. This fellow, you must know, is now drops from a still, while the other tiresome groom to sir Harry Beagle, your sweet rural woman, overwhelms us with a flood of imswain, and informed me that his master and pertinence. Harriot, you'll entertain bis_lordyour father were running all over the town ship till I return. [Exit.
in quest of you; and that he himself had Lord T. Gone!-'Pon honour, I am orders to inquire after you: for which reason, sorry for the coming in of these old tabbies, I suppose, he came to the riding-house stables and am much obliged to her ladyship for to look after a horse, thinking it, to be sure, leaving us such an agreeable tête-à-tête. a very likely place to meet you. Your father, Har. Your lordship will find me extremely
1) Horrid, vulgar, healthy red-cheeks, as was once said, in company, of a beautiful young lady from the country.
entertain ourselves one way or other, I'll war-in search of whom I troubled your ladyship's rant you. 'Egad, I think it a mighty good house. opportunity to establish a better acquaintance with you.
Har. I don't understand you.
Lord T. No?-Why then I'll speak plainer. -[Pausing, and looking her full in the Face] You are an amazing fine creature, 'pon honour.
Har. If this be your lordship's polite conversation, I shall leave you to amuse yourself in soliloquy.
Lady F. Her lover, I suppose; or what? Charles. At your ladyship's service; though not quite so violent in my passion as his lordship there.
Lord T. Impertinent rascal!
Lady F. You shall be made to repent of this insolence.
Lord T. Your ladyship may leave that to me.
Sir H. But, pray what is become of the lady Lord T. No, no, no, madam, that must not all this while? Why, lady Freelove, you told be. [Stopping her] This place, my passion, me she was not here; and i'faith, I was just the opportunity, all conspiredrawing off another way, if I had not heard
Har. How, sir! you don't intend to do me the view-halloo. any violence?
Lord T. 'Pon honour, ma'am, it will be doing great violence to myself, if I do not. You [Struggling with her.
must excuse me.
Har. Help! help! murder! help! Lord T. Your yelpiug will signify nothing -nobody will come.
Har. For heaven's sake!-Sir!-My lord
Lady F. You shall see her immediately, sir! Who's there?
Where is miss Russet!
Serv. Gone out, madam.
Lady F. Gone out?-Where?
Serv. I don't know, madam: but she run [Noise within. down the back stairs, crying for help, crossed Lord T. Plague on't, what noise!-Then I the servants' hall in tears, and took a chair must be quick. [Still struggling. at the door. Har. Help! murder! help!"help!
Lady F. Blockheads! to let her go out in a chair alone!-Go and inquire after her immeEnter CHARLES, hastily. diately. [Exit Servant. Charles. What do I hear? My Harriot's Sir H. Gone!-When I had just run her voice calling for help!-Ha! [Seeing them] down, and is the little puss stole away at last? Is it possible?-Turn, ruffian! I'll find you Lady F. Sir, if you will walk in, [To Sir employment. [Drawing. Harry] with his lordship and me, perhaps Lord T. You are a most impertinent scoundrel, you may hear some tidings of her; though it and I'll whip you through the lungs, 'pon honour. is most probable she may be gone to her fa[They fight. Harriot runs out, scream- ther. I don't know any other friend she has
ing Help, etc.
Re-enter LADY FREELOVE, with SIR HARRY
BEAGLE and Servants.
Lady F. How's this?-Swords drawn in my house-Part them-[They are parted] This is the most impudent thing
Lord T. Well, rascal, I shall find a time; I know you, sir!
Charles. The sooner the better; I know your lordship too.
Sir H. l'faith, madam, [To Lady Freelove] we had like to have been in at the death. 1) Lady F. What is all this? Pray, sir, what is the meaning of your coming hither, to raise this disturbance? Do you take my house for a brothel ? [To Charles. Charles. Not I, indeed, madam; but I beLeve his lordship does.
Lady F. Before I follow the company, give me leave to tell you, sir, that your behaviour here has been so extraordinary
Charles. My treatment here, madam, has indeed been very extraordinary.
Lady F. Indeed!-Well, no matter-permit me to acquaint you, sir, that there lies your way out, and that the greatest favour you can do me, is to leave the house immediately.
Lord T. Impudent scoundrel! Lady F. Your conversation, sir, is as inso- Charles. That your ladyship may depend lent as your behaviour. Who are you? What on. Since you have put miss Russet to flight, brought you here? you may be sure of not being troubled with
Charles. I am one, madam, always ready my company. I'll after her immediately. to draw my sword in defence of innocence in Lady F. If she has any regard for her red-stress, and more especially in the cause of putation, she'll never put herself into such at lady I delivered from his lordship's fury; hands as yours.
3) A very honourable thing for a sportsman is, to be on Charles. O, madam, there can be no doubt the spot-when hounds have caught the game, he then of her regard for that, by her leaving your leaps from his horse, whips the dogs away, and seizthe game holds it triumphantly over his head giving the death-halloo; and then he is entitled to the brush, if a fox, antlers, if a stag, and one of the fore
fest, if a kid for his reward. These honourable tokens
prowess are to be seen in all the halls of the gentemen fox-hunters in the country, tending to bring back many a moment of pleasure to the sportsman.
Lady F. Leave my house.
Charles. Directly-A charming house! and charming lady of the house too!-Ha, ha, ha! Lady F. Vulgar fellow!
Charles. Fine lady!
O'Cut. Some advanced wages from my new post, my lord! This pressing is hot work, though it entitles us to smart 1) money.
Lady F. And pray in what perilous adventure did you get that scar, captain?
ACT III. SCENE I-LADY FREELOVE's House. Enter LADY FREELOVE and LORD TRINKET. Lord T. Doucement, doucement, my dear lady Freelove!-Excuse me, I meant no harm, O'Cut. Quite out of my element, indeed, 'pon honour! my lady. I got it in an engagement by land. Lady F. Indeed, indeed, my lord Trinket, A day or two ago, I spied three stout fellows, this is absolutely intolerable! What, to offer belonging to a merchantman. rudeness to a young lady in my house! What down Wapping. I immediately gave my lads will the world say of it? the signal to chase, and we bore down right Lord T. Just what the world pleases. It upon them. They tacked, and lay to2)-We does not signify a doit what they say.-How-gave them a thundering broadside, which they ever, I ask "pardon; but, 'egad, I thought it resaved 3) like men; and one of them made was the best way. use of small arms, which carried off the weLady F. For shame, for shame, my lord! Iathermost) corner of Ned Gage's hat; so I am quite hurt at your want of discretion; and immediately stood in with him, and raked 3) as this is rather an ugly affair in regard to him, but resaved a wound on my starboard") me as well as your lordship, and may make eye, from the stock of the pistol. However some noise, I think it absolutely necessary, we took them all, and they now lie under the merely to save appearances, that you should hatches, with fifty more, aboard a tender?) off wait on her father, palliate matters as well as the Tower. you can, and make a formal repetition of your Lord T. Well done, noble captain! — But proposal of marriage. however you will soon have better employLord T. Your ladyship is perfectly in the ment, for I think the next step to your preright. You are quite au fait of the affair. It sent post, is commonly a ship. shall be done immediately, and then your re- O'Cut. The sooner the better, my lord! putation will be safe, and my conduct justified Honest Terence O'Cutter shall never flinch, I to all the world. But should the old rustic warrant you; and has had as much sea-sarcontinue as stubborn as his daughter, your vice as any man in the navy. ladyship I hope has no objections to my be
Lord T. You may depend on my good ofing a little rusé, for I must have her, 'pon fices, captain! But, in the mean time, it is in honour.
Serv. Captain O'Cutter, to wait on ladyship.
your power to do me a favour.
O'Cut. A favour, my lord?-your lordship does me honour. I would go round the world, your from one end to the other, by day or by night, to sarve your lordship, or my good lady here. Lady F. O the hideous fellow! The Irish Lord T. Dear madam, the luckiest thought sailor-man, for whom I prevailed on your in nature! [Apart to Lady F.] The favour I lordship to get the post of regulating captain. have to ask of you, captain, need not carry I suppose he is come to load me with his you so far out of your way. The whole afodious thanks. I won't be troubled with him fair is, that there are a couple of impudent fellows at an inn in Holborn, who have afLord T. Let him in, by all means. He is fronted me, and you would oblige me infinithe best creature to laugh at in nature. Hetely, by pressing them into his majesty's service. is a perfect seamonster, and always looks and Lady F. Now I understand-Admirable! talks as if he was upon deck. Besides, a thought strikes me-He may be of use.
Lady F. Well-send the creature up then. [Exit Servant] But what fine thought is this? Lord T. A coup de maitre, 'pon honour! intend-but, hush! here the porpus comes.
Enter CAPTAIN O'CUTTER.
Lady F. Captain, your humble servant! am very glad to see you.
O'Cut. I am much obliged to you, my lady! Upon my conscience, the wind favours me at all points. I had no sooner got under weigh,1) to tank your ladyship, but I have borne down upon) my noble friend his lordship too. I hope your lordship's well?
Lord T. Very well, I thank you, captain :But you seem to be hurt in the service: what is the meaning of that patch over your right eye?
1) Captain O'Cutter's mixture of Irish and sea terms is laughable enough on the stage, because the actor must not only speak Irish, but look Irish also, if he will perform his part well. To get under weigh means, to raise the anchor, set the sails; and when the wind has filled them, the vessel moves on its way.
) Sail towards.
O'Cut. With all my heart, my lord, and tank you too, 'fait.) But, by-the-by, I hope they are not house-keepers, or freemen of the city. There's the devil to pay in meddling with them. They boder) one so about li berty, and property, and stuff. —It was but t'other day, that Jack Trowser was carried before my lord 'mayor, and lost above a twelvemonth's pay for nothing at all, at all.
Lord T. Tll take care you shall be brought into no trouble. These fellows were formerly 1) The smart is the money which is sometimes taken to obtain the discharge of any one who has entered as sailor, or eulisted as a soldier.
my grooms. If you'll call on me in the mor- me, and gain intelligence, aud so forward the ning, I'll go with you to the place. match; but I'll forbid the banns, I warrant you. O'Cut. I'll be with your lordship, and bring-Whatever she wants, I'll draw some sweet with me four or five as pretty boys as you'll mischief out of it.-But away! away!—I think wish to clap your two good looking eyes upon I hear her-slip down the back stairs of a summer's day. stay, now I think on't, go out this way-meet Lord T. I am much obliged to you- But, her-and be sure to make her a very respectcaptain, I have another little favour to beg of ful bow, as you go out.
O'Cut. Upon my shoul I'll do it.
Lord T. What, before you know it?
Lord T. A gentleman has offended me in a
point of honour
O'Cut. Cut his troat!
Lord T. Will you carry him a letter from
Lord T. Hush! here she is!
Enter MRS. OAKLY.
[Lord Trinket bows, and exit. Mrs. O. I beg pardon, for giving your ladyship this trouble.
Lady F. I am always glad of the honour of seeing Mrs. Oakly.
Mrs. O. There is a letter, madam, just come O'Cut. Indeed and I will:-and I'll take you from the country, which has occasioned some in low) too; and you shall engage him yard-alarm in our family. It comes from Mr. Russet— arm and yard-arm. 2)
Lord T. Why then, captain, you'll come a little earlier to-morrow morning than you proposed, that you may attend him with my billet, before you on the other
Cut. Never fear it, my lord - Your sarvant-My ladyship, your humble sarvant! Lady F. Captain, yours-Pray give my service to my friend Mrs. O'Cutter. How does she do?
Lady F. Mr. Russet!
Mrs. O. Yes, from Mr. Russet, madam; and chiefly concerning his daughter. As she has the honour of being related to your ladyship, I took the liberty of waiting on you.
Lady F. She is indeed, as you say, madam, a relation of mine; but, after what has happened, I scarce know how to acknowledge her. Mrs. O. Has she been so much to blame then? Lady F. So much, madam!-Only judge for
O'Cut. I tank your ladyship's axing - The yourself.-Though she had been so indiscreet, dear creature is purely tight and well. Lord T. How many children have you, captain?
Cut. Four, and please your lordship, another upon the stocks.
a troat is to be cut.
not to say indecent in her conduct, as to elope from her father, I was in hopes to have hushed up that matter, for the honour of our family. and-But she has run away from me too, mádam:-went off in the most abrupt manner, not an hour ago.
Lord T. When it is launched, I hope to be at the christening.-I'll stand godfather, captain. Mrs. O. You surprise me. Indeed, her father, O'Cut. Your lordship's very good. by his letter, seems apprehensive of the worst Lord T. Well, you'll come to-morrow. consequences.-But does your ladyship imaO'Cut. Ay, my lord, and every day next week. gine any harm has happened? -Little Terence O'Cutter never fails, fait, when Lady F. I can't tell-I hope not-But in[Exit. deed she's a strange girl. You know, madam, Lady F. Ha, ha, ha! But, sure you don't young women can't be too cautious in their intend to ship off both her father and her conduct. She is, I am sorry to declare it, a country lover for the Indies? very dangerous person to take into a family. Mrs. O. Indeed! [Alarmed. Lady F. If I was to say all I knowMrs. O. Why sure your ladyship knows of nothing that has been carried on clandestinely between her and Mr. Oakly? [In disorder. Lady F. Mr. Oakly!
Lord T. O no! Only let them contemplate the inside of a ship, for a day or two. Lady F. Well, my lord, what use do you propose to make of this stratagem?
Lord T. Every use in nature. This artifice must, at least, take them out of the way for some time; and in the mean while measures may be concerted to carry off the girl.
Sere. Mrs. Oakly, madam, is at the door, in her chariot, and desires to have the honour of speaking to your ladyship on particular business.
Lord T. Mrs. Oakly! what can that jealouspated woman want with you?
Lady F. Why really, considering she was here scarce a week, her behaviour was rather Lady F. No matter what.-I hate her mor- mysterious;-letters and messages, to and fro, tally. Let her in. [Exit Servant. between her and I don't know who.—I supLord T. What wind blows her hither? pose you know that Mr. Oakly's nephew has Lady F. A wind that must blow us some good. been here, madam? Lord T. How?-I was amazed you chose see ber.
Mrs. O. I was not sure of it. Has he been to wait on your ladyship already on this oc
Lady F. How can you be so slow of ap-casion? rehension?-She comes, you may be sure, Lady F. To wait on me!-The expression a some occasion relating to this girl: in or- is much too polite for the nature of his visit. to assist young Oakly, perhaps, to sooth-My lord Trinket, the nobleman whom you *) Candert, defend. 2) Closely. met as you came in, had, you must know,
madam, some thoughts of my niece, and, as Lord T. Ha, ha, ha!- My dear lady Freeit would have been an advantageous match, I love, you have a deal of ingenuity, a deal of was glad of it: but I believe, after what he esprit, 'pon honour. has been witness to this morning, he will drop all thoughts of it.
Mrs. O. I am sorry that any relation of mine should so far forget himself
Lady F. A little shell 1) thrown into the enemy's works, that's all. Both. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Lady F. But I must leave you-I have twenty visits to pay. You'll let me know how you Lord T. That you may depend on. Lady F. Remember then that to-morrow [Much alarmed. morning I expect to see you. At present, your lordship will excuse me.
Lady F. It's no matter his hehaviour indeed, as well as the young lady's, was pretty extra-succeed in your secret expedition. ordinary-and yet, after all, I don't believe he is the object of her affections.
Mrs. O. Ha! Lady F. She has certainly an attachment somewhere, a strong one; but his lordship, who was present all the time, was convinced, as well as myself, that Mr. Oakly's nephew was rather a convenient friend, a kind of gobetween, than the lover.-Bless, me, madam, you change colour!—you seem uneasy! What's the matter?
Mrs. O. Nothing-madam-nothing-a little shocked, that my husband should behave so. Lady F. Your husband, madam!
SCENE II.-MR. OAKLY'S House. Enter HARRIOT, following WILLIAM. Har. Not at home! Are you sure that Mrs. Oakly is not at home, sir?
Wil. She is just gone out, madam. Har. I have something of consequence-If you will give me leave, sir, I will wait till she returus.
Wil. You would not see her, if you did, Mrs. O. His nephew, I mean. His unpar- madam. She has given positive orders not to donable rudeness-But I am not well-I am be interrupted with any company to-day. sorry I have given your ladyship so much Har. Sure, sir, if you was to let her know trouble-I'll take my leave. that I had particular business —
Lady F. I declare, madam, you frighten me. Your being so visibly affected makes me quite uneasy. I hope I have not said any thingI really don't believe your husband is in fault. Men, to be sure, allow themselves strange liberties-But I think, nay, I am sure, it cannot be so-It is impossible! Don't let what I have said have any effect on you.
Wil. I should not dare to trouble her, indeed, madam.
Har. How unfortunate this is! What can
Wil. Will you favour me with your name, madam?
Har. Be pleased, sir, to let him know that
Mrs. O. No, it has not-I have no idea of such a thing. Your ladyship's most obedient -[Going, returns] But sure, madam, you a have not heard-or don't know any thing [Exit. Lady F. Come, come, Mrs. Har. I wish I could have seen Mrs. Oakly. how it is, and it would not be kind to say What an unhappy situation am I reduced to all I know. I dare not tell you what I have by my father's obstinate perseverance to force heard. Only be on your guard-there can me into a marriage which my soul abhors. be no harm in that. Do you be against giving the girl any countenance, and see what effect it has.
Mrs. O. I will-I am much obliged - But does it appear to your ladyship then that Mr. Oakly
Oak. [At entering] Where is this lady? [Seeing her]-Bless me, miss Russet, is it you?-Was ever any thing so unlucky? [Aside] Is it possible, madam, that I see you here?
Lady F. No, not at all-nothing in't, I dare Har. It is too true, sir; and the occasion say-I would not create uneasiness in a fa- on which I am now to trouble you, is so mily-but I am a woman myself, have been much in need of an apology, thatmarried, and can't help feeling for you.-But Oak. Pray make none, madam.-If my wife don't be uneasy; there's nothing in't, I dare say. should return before I get her out of the house Mrs. O. I think so.-Your ladyship's humble again! Aside. Har. I dare say, sir, you are not quite a stranger to the attachment your nephew has Oak. I am not, madam.-I hope Charles
Lady F. Your servant, madam.-Pray don't be alarmed; I must insist on your not making professed to me. yourself uneasy.
Mrs. O. Not at all alarmed-not in ihe least has not been guilty of any baseness towards uneasy-Your most obedient. [Exit you. If he has, I'll never see his face again. Lady F. Ha, ha, ha! There she brim-1 goes, Har. I have no cause to accuse him.-Butful of anger and jealousy, to vent it all on her Oak. But what, madam? Pray be quick! husband.-Mercy on the poor man! The very person in the world I would not have seen! [Aside
Re-enter LORD TRINKET. Bless me, my lord, I thought you was gone! Lord T. Only into the next room. My curiosity would not let me stir a step further. I heard it all, and was never more diverted in my life, 'pon honour. Ha, ha, ha!
Lady F. How the silly creature took it.-Ha, ha, ha!
Har. You seem uneasy, sir! Oak. No, nothing at all-Pray go on, madam Har. I am at present, sir, through a con currence of strange accidents, in a very 21 X fortunate situation, and do not know wh. will become of me without your assistance.
1) A bomb-shell.