the victory so far, that I followed no outward thing that could be condemned. And herein I believe my conduct was unimpeachable; and in this reformation I rested, being puffed up with a vain mind; and, having heard the liberty of the gospel sometimes spoken of, but never explained, being at ease in the flesh, I imagined I stood in that liberty; and my vain, presumptuous confidence I mistook for faith, and thought myself to be a christian indeed; and I verily believe that thousands of professors rest here, as I once did. I attended different prayer meetings, read the scriptures, and was very attentive to every part of religious worship as far as I knew; I said many prayers, and performed all the good works I could; and, according to my ability, I bestowed alms, yea, even beyond my power, for I sometimes gave all I had away, and fretted that I had not more to give. I think no poor creature was ever more puffed up with blind zeal than I was, and a prouder Pharisee, I verily believe, there never did exist; like those of old, I trusted in myself that I was righteous, and despised others. I was so full of religion, that I could talk about it at any time, and to any one; and strove hard to drag every one into a profession that came in my way; but, had I gained a thousand proselytes, their being converted to such a faith as mine then was would have been of no avail; for, like me, they would only have been twofold more the children of hell, Matt. xxiii. 15. For Christ declares to the Pha

risees, "Verily I say unto you, that publicans and harlots go into the kingdom of God before you," Matt. xxi. 31. However, I went on for some time in this way, being swept and garnished with this external shew of religion and holiness; whereas inwardly I was full of all uncleanness, and knew no more about a broken heart or a contrite spirit, nor of real sorrow on account of sin, than Satan himself; nevertheless, I was not always easy in my mind; for at times I felt so much evil working within, that I knew not what to think of myself; and this so pulled down my vain confidence, that I frequently felt very low, and was oftentimes much disquieted, and did not think so highly of my religion; as, from what I felt, I very much suspected that all was not right with me; and this dissatisfaction kept increasing upon me, till I thought there was something more in real religion than I was yet acquainted with. I got more and more restless, and was exceedingly distressed, fearing I was deceived, and that my religion would prove nothing worth. This I know is a dreadful state to be in; "For, if a man thinketh himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself," Galat. vi. 3. One day, being at my work, and pondering over these matters in my mind, I became so disconsolate and distressed, that I knew not what to do, for I feared that all was wrong. At this time I had some strong impressions on my mind to go in prayer to the Lord, and make known to him all my distress.

6

So I left my work, retired to a secret place, and put up a few petitions, which, to the best of my remembrance, were as follows: O Lord, I have sinned against thee, but thou art merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in goodness; thou searchest the heart and triest the reins, and all things are naked and open unto thee; thou knowest the state I am in, and the distress which I feel, fearing I am not right before thee: suffer me not to be deceived, I beseech thee, O Lord; and, if my religion is what thou thyself hast taught me, be pleased to make it known, and comfort me in it; but, if it is what thou hast not taught me, and will fail me when I come to die, reveal this also unto me; and, if it be thy most blessed will, let the first passage of scripture I ever see from this time be descriptive of my case, that I may thereby know what is my true state before thee. Pardon and forgive my sin, and make me what thou wouldst have me to be. I ask all in the name, and for the sake, of Jesus Christ. Amen.' How long time elapsed before I looked into the Bible I do not recollect; but I remember one night, being very unhappy, and thinking of what I had prayed for, I took it up to read, and the first words I saw were these, "Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter, for thy heart is not right in the sight of God," Acts viii. 21. On reading these words I sunk in my soul, and God quickened me to feel that I was lost, and shewed me the wretched state I was in; and in one moment such

horror of mind seized me, that I felt as if I was going to drop into the bottomless pit; my heart sunk within me; I was quite chilled, and afterwards broke out into a cold sweat; my strength of body seemed to be all gone from me; and, if I had not sat down, I believe, I should have dropped on the floor. I then perceived that religion was heart-work, to which I had been an utter stranger, and had been deceiving myself in a false profession; and I felt the wretched, fallen, lost state I was in by nature, and that Original sin is the fault and corruption of the nature of every man that is engendered of the offspring of Adam, whereby man is very far gone from original righteousness, and is of his own nature inclined to evil, so that the flesh lusteth contrary to the spirit, and therefore in every person born into this world it deserveth God's wrath and damnation.' Article the 9th. I now experienced the difference between legal convictions and those which are produced under the powerful quickening operations of God's spirit; "You hath he quickened who were dead in trespasses and sins." I believed his threatenings denounced against me as a sinner, and trembled at his word, which says, "The soul that sins shall die," and is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, Heb. iv. 12. "All things that are reproved are made manifest by the light, for whatsoever doth make manifest is light," Eph. v. 13. I had been alive without the law; but when the commandment came

sin revived, and I died. I now saw the spirituality' of God's law, which discovered to me my lost and fallen state, and what an infinite distance there was betwixt me and a holy God, and how far short I fell of the law's demands; "The law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin ;" and, "Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things that are written in the law to do them." Formerly I had no other knowledge of sin than by actual transgressions; but now I found that these corrupt fruits sprung from a corrupt fountain, an evil and depraved nature, which originated in the fall; "By the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation;" therefore this condemnation was intailed upon me in man's fall; for, "By one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned," Rom. v. 12. The rebukes of God in my conscience, and his wrath revealed against my sin, pulled down my self-righteous spirit. "When thou," Lord, "with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth," Psalm

xxxix. 11.

"By the law is the knowledge of sin;" this discovered to me my corruption and the concupiscence of my heart. "But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence; for, without the law sin was dead," Rom. vii. 8. And I believe all that the law can do is to discover sin, and condemn the