Young F. If you can't I must starve, that's all.Damn him.

[Aside. Lord F. All I can say is, you should have been a better husband.

Young F. Ouns!-If you can't live upon ten thousand a-year, how do you think I should do't upon two hundred?

Lord F. Don't be in a passion, Tam, for passion is the most uubecoming thing in the waurld-to the face. Look you, I don't love to say any thing to you to make you melancholy, but upon this occasion I must take leave to put you in mind, that a running horse does require more attendance than a coach horse.-Nature has made some difference 'twixt you and me.

Young F. Yes-she has made you older.-Plague take her. [Aside.

Lord F. That is not all, Tam.

Young F. Why, what is there else?

Lord F. [Looks first on himself, and then on his Brother.] Ask the ladies.

Young F. Why, thou essence-bottle, thou musk-cat! -dost thou then think thou hast any advantage over me but what fortune has given thee?

Lord F I do, stap my vitals.

Young F. Now, by all that's great and powerful, thou art the prince of coxcombs.

Lord F. Sir, I am proud at being at the head of so prevailing a party.

Young F.Will nothing provoke thee?-Draw, coward. Lord F. Look you, Tam, you know I have always taken you for a mighty dull fellow, and here is one of the foolishest plats broke out that I have seen a lang time. Your poverty makes life so burdensome to you, you would provoke me to a quarrel, in hopes either to slip through my lungs into my estate, or to get yourself run through the guts, to put an end to your pain, but I will disappoint you in both your designs; far with the temper of a philasapher, and the discretion of a statesman-I shall leave the room with my sword in the scabbard. [Exit.

K

Young F. So! farewell, brother; and now, conscience, I defy thee.-Lory!

Lory. Sir.

Enter LORY.

Young F. Here's rare news, Lory; his lordship has given me a pill has purged off all my scruples.

Lory. Then my heart's at ease again. For I have been in a lamentable fright, sir, ever since your conscience had the impudence to intrude into your company.

Young F. Be at peace; it will come there no more; my brother has given it a wring by the nose, and I have kick'd it down stairs. So run away to the inn, get the chaise ready quickly, and bring it to dame Coupler's without a moment's delay.

Lory. Then, sir, you are going straight about the fortune?

Young F. I am.--Away-fly, Lory.

Lory. The happiest day I ever saw. I'm upon the wing already; now then I shall get my wages.

SCENE II-A Garden.

Enter LOVELESS and SERVANT.

Love. Is my wife within?

(Exeunt.

Serv. No, sir, she has gone out this half hour. Love. Well, leave me. [Exit SERVANT.] How strangely does my mind run on this widow-never was my heart so suddenly scized on before-that my wife should pick out her, of all womankind, to be her playfellow. But what fate does, let fate answer forI sought it not-soh!-by heav'ns! here she comes.

Enter BERINTHIA.

Ber. What makes you look so thoughtful, sir? I hope you are not ill?

Love. I was debating, madam, whether I was so or not, and that was it which made me look so thoughtful. Ber. Is it then so hard a matter to decide? I thought

all people were acquainted with their own bodies, though few people know their own minds.

Love. What if the distemper I suspect be in the mind?

Ber. Why then I'll undertake to prescribe you a

cure.

Love. Alas! you undertake you know not what. Ber. So far at least then you allow me to be a physician.

Love. Nay, I'll allow you to be so yet further; for I have reason to believe, should I put myself into your hands, you would increase my distemper.

Ber. How?

Love. Oh, you might betray me to my wife.

Ber. And so lose all my practice.

Love. Will you then keep my secret?

Ber. I will.

Love. Well-but swear it.

Ber. I swear by woman.

Love. Nay, that's swearing by my deity; swear by your own, and I shall believe you.

Ber. Well then, I swear by man!

Love. I'm satisfied. Now hear my symptoms, and give me your advice. The first were these: when I saw you at the play, a random glance you threw at first alarm'd me. I could not turn my eyes from whence the danger came-I gaz'd upon you till my heart began to pant-nay, even now on your approaching me, my illness is so increas'd, that if you do not help me, I shall, whilst you look on,

to ashes.

consume

[Takes her Hand.

Ber. O Lord, let me go; 'tis the plague, and we shall be infected. [Breaking from him. Love. Then we'll die together, my charming angel. Ber. O'gad! the devil's in you. Lord, let me gohere's somebody coming.

Enter a SERVANT.

Serv. Sir, my lady's come home, and desires to speak with you.

Love. Tell her I'm coming. [Exit SERVANT.]-But before I go, one glass of nectar to drink her health. [TO BERINTHIA: Ber. Stand off, or I shall hate you, by heavens. Love, [Kissing her.] In matters of love, a woman's oath is no more to be minded than a man's. Ber. Um!

Enter COLONEL TOWNLY.

[Exil.

Col. T. Soh! what's here-Berinthia and Loveless-and in such close conversation'-I cannot now wonder at her indifference in excusing herself to me! -O rare woman-well then, let Loveless look to his wife, 'twill be but the retort courteous on both sides. Your servant, madam, I need not ask you how you do, you have got so good a colour.

Ber. No better than I used to have, I suppose.

Col. T. A little more blood in your cheeks.
Ber. I have been walking!

Col. T. Is that all? Pray was it Mr. Loveless went from here just now?

Ber. O yes-he has been walking with me.

Col. T. He has!

Ber. Upon my word I think he is a very agreeable man!-and there is certainly something particularly insinuating in his address!

Col. T. So, so! she has'n't even the modesty to dissemble! [Aside.]-Pray, madam, may I, without impertinence, trouble you with a few serious questions? Ber. As many as you please; but pray let them be as little serious as possible.

Col. T. Is it not near two years since I have presumed to address you?

Ber. I don't know exactly-but it has been a tedious long time.

Čol. T. Have I not, during that period, had every reason to believe that my assiduities were far from being unacceptable?

Ber. Why, to do you justice, you have been ex

tremely troublesome-and I confess I have been more civil to you than you deserved.

Col. T. Did I not come to this place at your express desire, and for no purpose but the honour of meeting you?-and after waiting a month in disappointment, have you condescended to explain, or in the slightest way, apologize, for your conduct?

Ber. O, heavens! apologize for my conduct!-apologize to you!-0, you barbarian!-But pray now my good serious Colonel, have you any thing more to add?

:

Col T. Nothing, madam, but that after such beha-viour I am less surprised at what I saw just now it is not very wonderful that the woman who can trifle with the delicate addresses of an honourable lover, should be found coquetting with the husband of her friend.

Ber. Very true-no more wonderful than it was for this honourable lover to divert himself in the absence of this coquette, with endeavouring to seduce his friend's wife! O, Colonel, (olonel, don't talk of honour or your friend, for heaven's sake!

Col T. 'Sdeath! how came she to suspect this! [Aside.] Really, madam, I don't understand you.

Ber. Nay-nay-you saw I did not pretend to misunderstand you. But here comes the lady: perhaps you would be glad to be left with her for an explanation.

Col. T. O, madam, this recrimination is a poor resource; and to convince you how much you are mis. taken, I beg leave to decline the happiness you propose me. Madam, your servant.

Enter AMANDA.-COLONEL TOWNLY whispers

AMANDA, and exit.

Ber. He carries it off well, however-upon my word-very well!-how tenderly they part!-[A side.] -So, cousin-I hope you have not been chiding your admirer for being with me—I assure you we have been talking of you.

Aman. Fie, Berinthia!—my admirer-will you never learn to talk in earnest of any thing?