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Str T. Well then, if I must, I must; but turn-turn that sneering lord out, however, and let me be revenged on somebody. But first look whether I am a barbarian or not; there, children, I join your hands; and when l'm in a better humour, I'll give you my blessing.

Love. Nobly done, Sir Tunbelly; and we shall see you dance at a grandson's christening yet.

Miss H. By goles though, I don't understand this. What, an't I lo be a lady, after all? only plain MrsWhat's my husband's name, Nurse?

Nurse. Squire Fashion.

Miss H. Squire, is he?-Well, that's better than nothing.

Lord F. Now I will put on a philosophic air, and shew these people, that it is not possible to put a man of my quality out of countenance. [ Aside.] Dear Tam, since things are fallen out, pr’ythee give me leave to wish thee joy; I do it de bon coeur, strike me dumb! You have married into a family of great politeness and uncommon elegance of manners, and your bride appears to be a lady beautiful in person, modest in her deportment, refined in her sentiments, and of nice morality. split my windpipe!

Miss H. By goles, husband , break his bones, if he calls me names.

Young F. Your lordship may keep up your spirits with your grimace, if you please; I shall support mine, by Sir Tunbelly's favour, with this lady and three thousand pounds a year.

Lord F. Well, 'adieu, Tam-Ladies, I kiss your hands. Sir Tunbelly, I shall now quit this thy den; but while I retain the use of my armis, I shall ever remember thou art a demn'd, horrid savage; Ged demn

[Exit. Sir T. By the mass, 'tis well he's gone—for I should ha’been provoked, by-and-by, to ha'dun un a mischief Well, if this is a lorr, I think Hoyden has luck o'her, side, in troth.

Col T. She has indeed, Sir Tunbelly--but I hear the fiddles ; his lordship, I know, had provided 'em.




Love. O, a dance and a bottle, Sir Tunbelly, by all


Sir T. I had forgot the company below; well-what -We must be merry then, ha? and dance and drink, ha? Well, 'fore George, you shan't say I do these things by halves. Son-in-law there looks a hearty rogue, so we'll have a night on't: and which of these ladies will be the old man's partner, ha ?-'Ecod, I don't know how I came to be in so good a humour.

Ber. Well, Sir Tunbelly, my friend and I both will endeavour to keep you so : you have done a generous action, and are entitled to our attention. If you should be at a loss to divert your new guests, we will assist you to relate to them the plot of your daughter's marriage, and his lordship’s deserved mortification; a subject which perhaps may afford no bad evening's entertainment.

Sir T. 'Ecod, with all my heart; though I am a main bungler at a long story.

Ber. Never fear, we will assist you, if the tale is judged worth being repeated; but of this you may be assured, that while the intention is evidently to please, British auditors will ever be indulgent to the errors of the performance.



This Comedy is principally an adaptation from one by Vanbrugh, entitled, 'The Relapse, or Virtue in Danger.' In its original it was disfigured by a coarse and vulgar humour; and even the taste and ability of Sheridan have failed in making it well worthy a place among sterling English Dramas. Our author, in this and other similarattempts, appears to have been unfortunate, and makes us regret his resigning the impulses of his own genius.

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PROLOGUE.Wrillen by Mr. Garrick.

A School for Scandal! tell me, I beseech you,
Needs there a school this modish art to teach you!
No need of lessons now, the knowing think;
We might as well be taught to eat and drink.
Caused by a dearth of scandal, should the vapours
Distress our fair ones-let them read the papers;
Their powerful mixtures such disorders hit;
Crave what you will—there's quantum sufficit.
• Lord! cries my lady Wormwood (who loves tattle,
And puts much salt and pepper in her prattle),
Just ris’n at noon, all night at cards when threshing
Strong tea and scandal—'Bless me, how refreshing!
Give me the papers, Lisp- how bold and free! (sips)
Last night Lord L. (sips) was caught with Lady D.
For aching heads what charming sal volatile! (sips)
If Mrs. B. will still continue flirting,
We hope she'll DRAW, or we'll UNDRAW the curtain.
Fine satire, poz-in public all abuse it,
But, by ourselves, (sips) our praise we can't refuse it.
Now, Lisp, read you-lhere, at that dash and star:'

Yes, ma'am- A certain lord had best beware,
It'ho lives not twenty miles from Grosvenor Square;
For should he Lady W. find willing,
Formwood is bitter'-_-Oh! thal's me, the villain!
Throw it behind the fire, and never more
Let that vile paper come within my door.'
Thus at our friends we laugh, who feel the dart;
To reach our feelings, we ourselves must smart.
Is our young bard so young, to think that he
Can stop the full spring-tide of calumny?
Knows he the world so little, and its trade?
Alas! the devil's sooner raised than laid.
So strong, so swift, the monster there's no gagging:
Cut Scandal's head off, still the tongue is wagging.
Proud of your smiles once lavishly bestow'd,
Again our young Don Quixote takes the road,
To shew his gratitude he draws his pen,
And seeks this hydra, Scandal, in his den.
For your applanse all perils he would through-
He'll fight, that's write-a cavaliero true,
Till every drop of blood-lhal's ink-is spilt for you.




SCENE 1.-Lady Sneerwell's House.

Discovered LADY SNEERWELL, at the dressing-table.

SNAKE drinking chocolate. Lady S. The paragraphs, you say, Mr. Snake, were alle inserted ?

Snake. They were, madam: and as I copied them myself in a feigned hand, there can be no suspicion whence they came.

Lady S. Did you circulate the report of Lady Brittle's intrigue with Captain Boastall ?

Snake. That's in as fine a train as your ladyship could wish. In the common course of things, I think it must reach Mrs. Clackilt's ears within fouran-twenty hours; and then, you know, the business is as good as done.

Lady S. Why, truly, Mrs. Clackitt has a very pretty talent, and a great deal of industry.

Snake. True, madam, and has been tolerably successful in her day. To my knowledge, she has been the cause of six matches being broken off, and three sons being disinherited; of four forced elopements, as many close confinements, nine separate maintenances, and two divorces. Nay, I have more than once traced her causing a tête-à-têle in the Town and Country Magazine, when the parties, perhaps, had never seen each other's face before in the course of their lives.

Lady S. She certainly has talents, but her manBer is gross.

Snake. 'Tis very true.-She generally designs well,

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